


Arrested Heart

by hailynx



Series: Challenges, Events & Exchanges [7]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Asexual Character, Character-centric, Demisexual Character, Drinking, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Minor Character Death, OT12 - Freeform, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 49,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4374365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailynx/pseuds/hailynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Kyungsoo will do it,” Baekhyun pipes up and Kyungsoo throws him a sharp look, but Baekhyun just shrugs. “Just do it. It’s not going to hurt you.”</p><p>The last time Baekhyun said that, it hurt quite a bit, Kyungsoo wants to retort, but it’s not for Baekhyun to know, so he zips his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arrested Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own EXO.  
> Please do not translate or repost/reupload.
> 
> A huge thank you to **[thepandans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepandans)** , for listening to the original idea, told me it was good and encouraged me to keep the scrappy parts that I had drafted for this story. If you ever read this, I hope that you enjoy it, despite how much it's changed from that idea.
> 
> Next, a very big thank you to the mods, **[Ansa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/inconspicuouslyblue)** and **[Ren](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nachtegael)** for allowing me the chance to participate in this challenge. I'm sorry for all the trouble caused and thank you for being awesome and encouraging through the writing process. It's such a big challenge and I know you both worked really hard, so thank you! **Ansa** , thank you for always being encouraging even though you were busy and tied down with everything else that was going on for you. You always took out the time to reply to my messages and that really helped me! **Ren** , you've been an amazing friend throughout this challenge. Thank you for sprinting with me whenever you had the chance, be it at odd hours or even for a short period of time. The sprinting we did was really helpful, motivated me and gave me inspiration to write, so thank you. We made it to the end, so let's keep going #TeamSurviveAllTheThings.
> 
> To **Team Crocus** , thank you for welcoming me and sharing your ideas with me to get the imaginative sparks flying. You've all worked really hard during this period! And to the **Team Leader** , thank you for checking in on us and being there to support us along the way. I know we all ran into some problems during the writing process but everyone has worked hard to challenge ourselves and that's all that matters.
> 
> A huge thank you to **[Jeannette](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Paltita)** , who is outside of the challenge and fandom, but did a lot of the hand holding throughout the last few months. You didn't know it but you've been amazing with me over the last few months, so thank you! And **Anna** , who really kicked my ass into gear for the last two months. You motivated me to write this thing (by bribing me with food haha) and gave me praises for the little things I achieved, which really helped, thank you!
> 
> And last but definitely not least, my wonderful beta, **Laura[(kfangirl4)](http://kfangirl4.livejournal.com/)** , I don't have enough words to thank you for all of your hard work during the last few months. I really couldn't have completed this challenge without you. Thank you for accommodating me in the various areas and thank you for everything that you have done, especially since I went missing halfway through the challenge because of missing emails and university commitments. But we got here in the end and I have learnt so much by working together with you. Thank you for the title suggestion, I absolutely adore it. Please know that you have made this fic what it is today, and that it has been an honour for me to work with you. If given the chance, I would love to work together with you again. For now, I wish you all the best for all of your endevaours!
> 
> Also, please give the writers participating in the **[Exordium Challenge](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/exordiumchallenge2015)** lots of love!! They have all done an amazing job!

**November, 2020**

 

Kyungsoo jerks awake in alarm. The loud noise, he concludes, once he gains some clarity, is his phone. It rings loudly but Kyungsoo is too lazy to reach for it. It’s not the alarm, Kyungsoo had made sure of it. There’s no reason for Kyungsoo to be up early today. All of the preparations for the café were completed last night. It’s not that hard. All Baekhyun has to do is follow the instructions; the paper has been stuck by the oven for the last ten years. Today is Kyungsoo’s day off and he’s sleeping in. He will not tolerate anything less.

 

Despite his resolve, ignorance does nothing to relieve him. The phone dies down but only for fifteen seconds before it starts crying again for Kyungsoo’s attention. Kyungsoo protests by curling into the warm chest pressed against him. Denying the possibility that he may have left something undone, Kyungsoo pulls the blanket over his head. Kyungsoo rests his head against his partner’s chest, waiting for the regularly beating heart to calm him down. It is enough to almost drown out the ringing, but the sound only comes to a halt with a smooth answer from his partner.

 

“Hey…” follows a little yawn, “Kyungsoo? Yeah, wait a minute.”

 

The bed sheets rustle and it’s cold when the blanket is removed. Kyungsoo turns to pull the blanket back. He groans in protest because this is cruel, but there’s no escape. Logically, Kyungsoo knows that they might have real trouble. However he has a nagging feeling that Baekhyun has just failed to follow instructions and burnt the cake. That’s enough trouble for Baekhyun to make a call so early in the morning even if Kyungsoo doesn’t think it’s worth it. Honestly, why hasn’t Bora let him go yet?

 

“Soo,” Kyungsoo takes the phone begrudgingly, ready to complain. More information is provided before he snaps. “It’s Jongin.”

 

At this time, if it’s not Baekhyun for trouble or anyone else for trouble, then of course it’s Jongin. The boy still doesn’t register the time difference. It’s inappropriate but no matter how many times Kyungsoo says it, Jongin will call with the same reasoning— _you have to be the first to know, hyung!_

 

Kyungsoo makes a face but brings the phone to his ear. He curls further into the blanket and mumbles an incoherent greeting into the receiver. Hopefully, Jongin gets the message and is polite enough to say that he’ll call again.

 

“Jongin.”

 

 _“I’m getting married!”_ Jongin announces cheerily through the receiver, _“Soojung said yes!”_

 

Kyungsoo is not surprised to hear the news. Soojung has always harboured a crush on Jongin. Five years ago, Kyungsoo had watched from the sidelines and sighed at the impossibility, but a lot has changed. Jongin grew up and so did Soojung. He’s happy for them but he’s not sure what he wants to say first. His silence must be concerning because Jongin starts to fidget with the phone and ends up sending static over.

 

_“Hyung?”_

 

“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo replies slowly, still trying to decide if he should just get up or not. He pulls the phone away from his ear and glares at the blaring screen of light. “It’s 4 AM.”

 

 _“Oh, hyung…”_ Jongin’s frowning in his voice, his puppy ears down and eyes sad. Kyungsoo hates that he can still see it. _“You’re not in the store yet…?”_

 

“It’s my day off,” Kyungsoo deadpans.

 

 _“Ah,”_ Jongin continues with his voice downcast, like the weather outside Kyungsoo’s window, pouring rain and gloomy. _“I’m sorry…”_

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Kyungsoo mumbles, feeling bad. “I’m happy for you,” he waits for Jongin to return to his state of cheer before ending the conversation, “But I’m going back to sleep, so let’s talk again a bit later.”

 

Jongin apologises again but gives him cheery goodbye. Kyungsoo chuckles fondly and ends the call. This time, he turns his phone on silent and tosses it aside. He turns back to the body of warmth and curls into it, knees pulled up a little as he pulls his lover close, his arms closing around his lover’s neck as Kyungsoo nuzzles closer. This time, he has no intention of letting go.

 

“Sorry,” he apologises, kissing his lover’s forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

 

 

 

 

 

What a funny thing,

(Soul mates),

I am simply me,

And you are you,

So why should we,

Confuse the two?

 

 

 

 

 

**March, 2015**

 

Kyungsoo remembers the preparatory work. He dreams of the talk from time to time, but the main reminders are scattered in the corners of his home. His parents had sat him down at age ten claiming they needed to explain to him how the world works. Kyungsoo had been told that his world was incomplete and that it may never fill, but that he should always strive to be happy the way that he is. _It will be difficult_ , his father had informed when explaining, _but I know you can do it_.

 

Theoretically, Kyungsoo’s understanding came easily. Their explanation made everything fall into place. He began to see it in the way that people carried themselves and human observation became his hobby. However, as Kyungsoo grew to learn other things about the world, the fascination passed and lay dormant like a volcano.

 

Sometimes he’ll see young people and everything that he has been taught will pass through his mind, but is of little importance. Kyungsoo will see young students carrying books and theory papers around in an attempt of solving the puzzle. It often triggers his own experiences, but Kyungsoo hardly has a use for those.

 

Only after his father passed did it come back to life. As he went through the items his father had left behind, Kyungsoo found the theory book and several others that his parents had gifted him. The memory is jolting. Kyungsoo remembers vividly their place on his book shelves and how he had slowly replaced them with novels and university text books.

 

In memory of his late father, Kyungsoo took them with him when he moved. Now they act like a memoir, decorating the shelves in his living room. Once again they have become fascinating to look at. The books are still sold—on their ninth edition now, Kyungsoo thinks—but there is nothing special about them. As with all previous editions, the books’ covers all have a dull solid backdrop on the hardcover. Kyungsoo feels that he has no use for them but they serve as a reminder of his father, so he keeps them on his bookshelves.

 

His mother needs little association with the collection of books. Instead, Kyungsoo is her treasure and she calls often to check up on him. Every conversation is almost the same. They always carry a relatively pleasant exchange. Kyungsoo is willing to talk about anything but his work and unfortunately, that’s where they clash. Although Kyungsoo enjoys it, his mother seems to think it’s too hard, just like any other doting parent he knows. The possibility of getting hurt, like small burns and cuts, worry her. Kyungsoo doesn’t see how stressful work at a desk could be any better, but to her, his reasoning is flawed.

 

“I’m eating regularly,” Kyungsoo tells his mother, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder. “Dinner? Soybean paste stew.”

 

She hums in approval and then reminds him that he has to come home later in the year. Kyungsoo promises and tells her to take care of herself. She returns his words and then adds on a request for him to come see her more often outside of their promised date. Kyungsoo hums in agreement with the phone still trapped between his ear and shoulder as he brings a mug of hot chocolate over to the coffee table. Setting it down, Kyungsoo grabs the phone and the television controller simultaneously.

 

“Yes, okay,” Kyungsoo replies, flipping through the channels. “I will. I love you.”

 

Kyungsoo wishes his mother an enjoyable time listening to her radio drama as she hangs up with a laugh. He drops the television controller and pulls up the planner on his phone to look for a compatible date to visit home. Seeing a free date, Kyungsoo puts the details in and a reminder to update his availability for work. Although it was his choice to move, Kyungsoo works hard to make sure that he has time for his mother.

 

In the background he hears the announcer on MBC’s news channel praising a new and upcoming artist. Kyungsoo looks up and scans the artwork on display with mild amusement. It looks like nothing spectacular, but that’s probably because Kyungsoo cannot appreciate the nature of art yet. Several artworks are displayed in succession before the announcer reminds the viewers the exhibition will be opening soon. Having no room for appreciation of art, Kyungsoo grabs onto the controller and begins flipping through the channels again for something more suitable.

 

He stops on SBS, entertaining the thought of Running Man only to find the channel reporting a Miracle Meeting between two middle schoolers. Kyungsoo doesn’t even last five minutes before he turns off the television. The amount of over-reporting today of such events is ridiculous but previous studies are telling. The news will only make money by reporting content that the public wants to see. Kyungsoo cannot fault them for business. However, it’s a bit concerning that this type of news is standing right next to sensational crime reporting.

 

Shuffling to his feet, Kyungsoo goes to one of his bookshelves for a novel. He traces his books with a finger from one end to the other, ignoring the decorative books from his father in favour of those with proper titles. In the middle, he spots _The Passage_ with a bookmark sticking out of it and picks it up. Kyungsoo flips through the pages and returns to his seat, content with his choice. He crosses his legs and nestles comfortably against the sofa. Between the pages, Kyungsoo finishes his hot chocolate and reads until a little past midnight. Just as he closes the book, ready to turn in, a text message comes.

 

**Wu Yifan, _00:16AM._**

_You’re still reading a book aren’t you?_

_Sleep!_

 

Kyungsoo pulls down the drop screen and is about to tap into the LINE chat application but stops himself. He’s not going to give Yifan that satisfaction. Turning off the screen, Kyungsoo returns the book to the shelf. He brushes his teeth and then gets into bed, reminding himself to reply to Yifan in the morning.

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday starts off a little bit odd for Kyungsoo. Instead of the morning shift, he is on the noon shift because the café manager Sojin asked for an exchange. It’s not his favourite shift but it helps with balancing out his sleeping cycle so Kyungsoo doesn’t have much to complain about. Kyungsoo can wake up at any time of the day and feel completely alert but there are days where it’s nice to be able to sleep in. The shift assignments accommodate for that and Kyungsoo is content that he is able to monitor Baekhyun to make sure that no cakes are ruined.

 

Other than that, it’s a normal day. Kyungsoo usually slips away after the lunch rush but today he is looking forward for the downtime. Around one everyone starts to disperse and the chattering in the café dies down, calming Kyungsoo. They have a few customers lingering, all of which are familiar faces, except for two that show up after the rush hour. Kyungsoo only notices them because they hover at the window for a good ten minutes, near where the menu is affixed. They’re definitely new faces and something—maybe it’s the taller one’s stained clothing—tells Kyungsoo that they’re not the type that he would like to have hanging around.

 

They are flashy and loud as they enter. Kyungsoo heaves an inward sigh, but keeps his eyes trained on them, with a smile plastered across his face. Now that they’re up close, he draws new conclusions. Kyungsoo has seen different kinds of these people and he has a pretty good guess. The splatter on shirt and pants are a sign of colour. The taller one of the two is definitely an artist—or a student, judging from how young he looks. The taller of them takes a seat by the window and the smaller one—well; he’s about Kyungsoo’s size so maybe he’s not so small—advances, confidence in his step and his smile. There are few people to disturb so he raises his voice across the cafe, bright and flowing like a melody.

 

“Sehun,” he turns back, a hand on his hip, “What do you want?”

 

The boy—Sehun, Kyungsoo’s brain supplies because soaking up information is an easy task when one is quietly observant—looks up and frowns. “Hot chocolate.”

 

“Just checking,” the laughter intended for _Sehun_ carries all the way to the counter.

 

Kyungsoo raises a brow as he cleans the steamer of the espresso machine. He’s never understood how people can be so bright and happy like that. They just seem to light up everywhere they go and everything they touch. Kyungsoo feels like he’s under attack because the man reminds him of Baekhyun. And another Baekhyun will not do. A part of it is resentment for Kyungsoo’s lack of this ability, but Kyungsoo has grown to like himself as he is.

 

“It’s not going to change,” Sehun replies, absently fiddling with his phone.

 

Round two of the bubbling laughter comes to the front counter and Kyungsoo prepares his retreat. He’s not good at dealing with excessively cheery people. That’s Baekhyun’s specialty. Even though Kyungsoo feels bad for the guy who’s done absolutely nothing wrong to deserve this, Kyungsoo has to protect himself first. Instead of stepping up to the counter when their eyes meet, Kyungsoo taps the bell beside the espresso machine to summon Baekhyun to take their order.

 

He doesn’t need to protect Baekhyun. Baekhyun is always flirting so it won’t make a difference, though he might get his face smashed in, if these two are more than what meets the eye. Kyungsoo puts on a weak smile, pointing to the back before he resumes cleaning the machine. Baekhyun reports to the front in a flash—thank heavens—and as soon as he spots the man at the counter there’s a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun winks and below the counter, he kicks Kyungsoo aside. “What can I get you?”

 

Kyungsoo rests his head against the machine, exhausted. He’s come to expect this kind of behaviour but it still tires him out every time. The girls usually play along but there are few guys that will take it well. The ones that go along just want to find a way to Taeyeon, Baekhyun’s girlfriend. Kyungsoo supposes that this may be Baekhyun’s way of weeding them out. However, Kyungsoo does have to wonder if Baekhyun knows what kind of trouble he will be in if someone sincerely reciprocates his faux advances one day.

 

This guy though just laughs again, his eyes crinkling up and his lips curling into a Cheshire cat smile, “An iced Americano, a hot chocolate...” he glances over at the glass display and points to the far right, “And a slice of the chocolate mud cake, please. It looks rich.”

 

Pride swells in Kyungsoo’s chest and a little smile pulls at the corner of his lips. Every compliment that he earns for the cakes always makes him happy. He may not have made today’s cake specifically, but the chocolate mud cake recipe is his.

 

Baekhyun’s voice is filled with equal cheer, “It’s really good, I promise.”

 

“Ah,” the Cheshire-mimicking guy grins. “And a number.”

 

The smile falls right off of Kyungsoo’s face and he nearly chokes on his breath while Baekhyun reels in the victory. There’s a little fist pump Baekhyun does under the register that Kyungsoo catches and he drops his head in shock. His co-worker whistles under his breath, grabs the pen meant for credit card signatures and starts scribbling on an old receipt. When he looks up, paper coolly clipped between his fingers to pass it on, the guy laughs and waves his hand dismissively.

 

“For the table,” he continues and finally gestures at Sehun.

 

Kyungsoo barely manages to cover his mouth to conceal his snort. Baekhyun sputters, face reddening in an instant. He crushes the slip of paper in his hands, stammers like a flustered child and roughly grabs one of the table number holders. He stuffs the little table card that has an ‘8’ on it and hands it over while muttering viciously under his breath. Kyungsoo snorts into his hands, attempting to suppress his laughter with all his might because that exchange is the best thing that’s happened today.

 

The new customer’s eyes catch Kyungsoo’s, sparkling in response. They share a moment of silent acknowledgement and then of understanding. Despite his need to escape from the customer earlier, Kyungsoo flashes a shy smile back. The reception is well-received and there is a wave from the man before he returns to his seat. The customer places the table number holder on the table’s edge and starts a fresh conversation with his companion. Baekhyun seems to be the topic based on their hushed voices and stifled giggles.

 

Baekhyun is disgruntled for the rest of the afternoon, offended but also slightly amused. Kyungsoo can see it in the way that his eyes start calculating. Baekhyun pushes Kyungsoo aside to get to the coffee machine, claiming that he’ll make the guy regret the rejection by making his coffee. Kyungsoo raises a brow and stands there, waiting for an apology. Once he gets it—although it’s just a dismissive one with Baekhyun waving his hand—Kyungsoo leaves him to it and plates the cake instead. Despite his determination, Baekhyun falters, restarting the simple Americano over twice.

 

 

 

 

 

Carrying the memory of Baekhyun’s defeat earlier in the day, Kyungsoo leaves the café in a good mood. It makes the thought of extra socialising for the day tolerable. When the announcement comes on for Seoul Station, Kyungsoo straightens out his jacket and stands on his feet to shuffle out. Kyungsoo swipes his pass and follows the crowd to Exit 14 where he had agreed to meet Soojung.

 

Once Kyungsoo is outside, he looks for Soojung but doesn’t see any sign of her. He shuffles towards the corner to wait, watching people as they pass. After a bit he checks his phone for the time and to see if there is a message from Soojung. She’s a few minutes late, he thinks while he re-pockets his phone and resumes people watching.

 

Soojung calls out his name from across the road and Kyungsoo lifts a hand in the air to wave back before lowering it again. The subway stations in Seoul are too jam-packed for big movements. He needs to be considerate—but more than that, Kyungsoo doesn’t want to call attention to himself. The only reason that he’s out in the first place is because Soojung asked for a favour. They’ve been friends for a long time now and he can grant that leeway.

 

“Sorry,” Soojung smiles, pulling her hair behind her ear, “Did you wait long?”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. Baekhyun had asked him to stay a little longer for the lunch shift and he had stayed to help out, but left shortly afterward. There is no need for her to apologise. She does so anyway and then floods him with questions about his wellbeing. Kyungsoo responds generically, a conditioned ‘okay’ slipping out of his lips that causes her to laugh.

 

“Let’s go,” Soojung beams, “You’ll need to give me details later.”

 

Soojung links her arms with his and begins to drag him because she knows very well that that’s the only way to get Kyungsoo moving. Crowded places are okay, but he’d rather have some peace after his shift.

 

“C’mon oppa,” Soojung says, tugging him along to pick up new skates for her next competition. “I just need to pick up my skates and then we can go have dinner. Is there anything you feel like eating?”

 

Kyungsoo hums but he doesn’t give an answer. He doesn’t really crave anything at the moment. Soojung sighs but then immediately announces that she will take him to one of her favourite restaurants. Knowing Soojung, it will probably be a gem in a little corner that will become Kyungsoo’s favourite, too. Kyungsoo slowly falls in step with her, looking where Soojung looks and listening just enough to make comments in reply to the things that she has to say.

 

It’s a vicious cycle but Kyungsoo plays along because he knows that Soojung has something she really wants to say. Soojung ends up dragging Kyungsoo around to window shop and he follows to observe the little changes in her expression she makes when she thinks he’s not paying attention. It’s concerning but remembering that dinner is on the agenda, Kyungsoo decides to wait rather than push. They spend hours walking and only five minutes in the store to pick up her skates before closing time.

 

Kyungsoo just sighs, “Aren’t you tired from all that walking?”

 

“Sorry,” Soojung smiles sheepishly, hugging the shopping bag to her chest, “Let’s go get dinner!”

 

Soojung takes him to a little corner spot that serves “authentic” Chinese food. Over dinner, the topic of discussion returns to Kyungsoo. The only thing that Kyungsoo has to report is Baekhyun’s attachment to their newest regulars. It had surprised Kyungsoo, but Soojung exclaims that she also wants to meet them, so he supposes they carry some charm.

 

When Kyungsoo returns her questions, she says a lot but at the same time she seems to leave out important details. The air between them had been tight from the beginning of their time together but Kyungsoo doesn’t have it in him to push her. Dinner ends up being just dinner. Soojung speaks excitedly about her new skating routine and Kyungsoo hums in acknowledgement because words from him will not suffice. He’s certainly not knowledgeable enough about figure skating or dancing to critique.

 

At the cashier it takes some persuading, but in the end Kyungsoo manages to get Soojung to agree to splitting the bill. She pouts on the way out but Kyungsoo ignores her little protest. As her senior he should be paying, but he’s already settled to let her pay a portion and she should be happy with that.

 

“Are you going to the station, too?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

Soojung affirms and turns, falling into step with Kyungsoo. It’s a silent walk until Kyungsoo spots Jongin coming from the distance. He draws Soojung’s attention to Jongin and they both wave, but Jongin is rushing forward without noticing them, looking around distractedly as he turns back and forth. Kyungsoo takes a step back, pulling Soojung with him, but doesn’t manage to avoid a collision when Jongin turns around to face the front and smashes right into them.

 

“Woah, sorry—” Jongin whips his head up, eyes darting in a rush, “Hyung! Oh, Soojung,” Jongin looks at them, apologetic and his eyes dart around, voice sounding breathy. “Just—sorry!”

 

Jongin dashes off without helping them and Kyungsoo frowns. That’s not like Jongin, but he says nothing as he pulls Soojung up and picks up her purse and shopping bag. He hands them over to her but is ignored as she stares into the distance. Kyungsoo ends up poking her on the shoulder several times to bring her back.

 

“You ‘kay?”

 

“Ah,” Soojung jerks and puts on a smile as she pulls her hair behind her ears. “Yes, I’m okay. Jongin oppa must be in a rush.”

 

Kyungsoo nods, staring along with Soojung at the empty path before them. Once they realize that Jongin will probably not come back, Kyungsoo directs Soojung to the station again. The station is just around the corner when Jongin comes rushing back, apologies falling from his lips. He even bows, to show his sincerity.

 

“Sorry,” Jongin repeats, scratching his cheeks sheepishly. “Are you okay? Hyung? Soojung?”

 

Kyungsoo dismisses the issue with a nod to relieve one of Jongin’s sources of stress. Soojung and Kyungsoo exchange a knowing look. The chase is nothing new. Jongin has been on a constant search but often returned without results. Jongin’s expression says it all and Soojung comforts him by rubbing his shoulder gently.

 

“I’m fine,” Soojung assures him, smiling as she backs away slowly. Kyungsoo raises a brow, to which Soojung shakes her head at him and takes another step back. “I need to go though. Thank you for coming out today, Kyungsoo oppa!”

 

Kyungsoo waves to her, a small smile twisted into his expression. “Check the size of your skates again!”

 

Jongin looks lost but he waves to her too, with a loud goodbye. She turns back, gives a wide smile and then disappears around the corner leaving Kyungsoo and Jongin in silence. Kyungsoo heaves a little sigh of relief and exhaustion. At least he wasn’t put in the middle today.

 

“Did you go with Soojung to pick up her new skates?” Jongin questions.

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods. “So, how was your day?”

 

Jongin lights up and he smiles like the sun, grabbing onto Kyungsoo’s arm as a display of happiness. Kyungsoo narrows his eyes and peels Jongin away, with his index and forefinger pinched together. Sometimes, he’ll indulge the little one but this is a bit on the creepy side. He’ll listen and then decide whether it is worth the indulgence.

 

“I found her!” Jongin exclaims, eyes gleaming. His whole expression is bright and his eyes are alive, just the way they are when he dances. “At the train station earlier…”

 

Kyungsoo zones out just a bit to register the other details. Jongin has been running around all over to find _her_. He’s so set on his task, Kyungsoo doesn’t know whether it is endearing or heartbreaking.

 

“It was amazing,” Jongin announces and then continues babbling on about an experience Kyungsoo cannot relate to. “It was just for a second but everything was so… different hyung.”

 

Kyungsoo nods almost dismissively. Kyungsoo lacks the understanding and cannot sympathise with Jongin’s feelings at this moment. He does, however, feel a tinge of sadness because Jongin is covered in sweat and his breathing is uneven. It looks like he has been running around for a long time now. So he puts a hand on Jongin’s head and ruffles with a small amount of affection, feeling more for Soojung than anyone else at this moment.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not even a surprise to Kyungsoo that Baekhyun corners their newest regulars and makes them his friends. It’s hard to deny Baekhyun what he wants when he has endless charm up his sleeve, so Kyungsoo can understand why they’ve succumbed. However the word “succumb” can only apply to the boy, Sehun. Jongdae, as Kyungsoo has come to learn his name, seems to have Baekhyun wrapped around his little finger instead of the other way around. Baekhyun and Jongdae could be long-lost twins for all Kyungsoo knows. They get along exceptionally well and it’s a horrific sight.

 

Baekhyun is deep in conversation with Jongdae when Kyungsoo shows up in the private room at the bar that Baekhyun had reserved the following Friday night. Taeyeon indulges them and Kyungsoo finds himself affronted by the men’s display of affection for each other. There’s absolutely no space between Baekhyun and Jongdae. They sit in close proximity and speak as if they’ve known each other all their lives. Laughter comes easily between them and Kyungsoo thought that it’d be trouble with Jongdae’s companion, but it’s not. As he usually is in the café, Sehun is fixated on his phone.

 

“Is that okay?” Kyungsoo questions, gesturing at Baekhyun and Jongdae as he slips into the free seat next to Taeyeon.

 

It’s the safest seat, away from all the commotion Kyungsoo predicts will occur. Taeyeon laughs, hands covering her face. Kyungsoo pours himself a glass over water and sculls it down to clear the dry scratch in his throat. The moment that he puts it down, Taeyeon kindly refills it and he nods in gratitude.

 

“Sehun’s not worried,” Taeyeon replies coolly—like she always does. Kyungsoo always wonders where she managed to get all her self-composure. “So there’s no reason for me to worry either.”

 

Sehun looks up at the mention of his name and meets Taeyeon’s eyes. They both exchange a look and he turns back into his phone. _Honestly_ , Kyungsoo thinks, _kids these days_. Everything is pretty much quiet, until the whole group manages to gather. Joining them late is Sojin, Jongin and Junmyeon. They all come in one after another, apologies slipping from their lips as they find the table and slide into the spare seats.

 

When everyone is comfortable, Baekhyun peels himself away from Jongdae and claps his hands together to get everyone’s attention. As friends, they oblige, dropping their activities and mini conversations to tune into what he has to say. Kyungsoo knows the ritual. It’s a friendship induction. Jongdae and Sehun have been caught and there’s no escaping unless they leave Seoul. Baekhyun is a leech and from what Kyungsoo can see, it looks like Jongdae will become a victim of Baekhyun’s clothes borrowing habit. They are all the same. Junmyeon is Baekhyun’s bank, Kyungsoo his chef and so on. Kyungsoo doesn’t see any reason for it to be different with Jongdae.

 

“So, our newest regulars,” Baekhyun starts, “Kim Jongdae and Oh Sehun.”

 

Although Sojin and Taeyeon know them, Jongin and Junmyeon don’t, so the introduction goes around the table again. As it had been the first time, Jongdae is the friendlier one of the two. Sehun answers low and in short sentences where Jongdae expands on his replies and indulges his audience. Everyone remains polite, keeping to their own space and a nod of acknowledgement replaces a handshake.

 

“So, tell us what brings you to Seoul,” Baekhyun suggests, opening up the discussion to the crowd.

 

“Work,” Jongdae replies simply. He takes a sip of his drink and side eyes Sehun, who’s still fiddling with his phone. Kyungsoo has to wonder if that’s all the brat ever does.

 

“Both of you?”

 

This time, Sehun nods once and goes back to the phone again. Sojin slips over to Sehun and starts a conversation, which seems easily held. Kyungsoo is surprised but cannot hear their low tones so he turns back to where Baekhyun is loudly speaking. Jongdae begins explaining the situation and Kyungsoo zones in and out, catching certain words and phrases but not relating to most of what Jongdae is saying. He gushes on about art and Kyungsoo finds his ears picking up on another conversation. He is not yet in the state to where he can appreciate art so it doesn’t interest him.

 

“Wait,” Baekhyun puts a hand up, stalling everyone’s conversations. He squeezes between the table and the couch, pushing past Jongin and Junmyeon to move into Sehun’s personal space. “You’re _that_ Oh Sehun?”

 

Sehun squirms, shrinking into himself. He tilts his head to meet Jongdae’s eyes, shooting his companion a pitiful look that earns a small laugh. Kyungsoo is about to save the poor boy but Jongdae is quicker to it. Jongdae moves from his seat and slips in between them, pushing Baekhyun back and sitting directly in front of Sehun. Sehun gives Baekhyun a lopsided smile but remains polite as Jongdae carries on the conversation for him.

 

“You know him?” Jongdae says, like he’s playing innocent. There might be a tinge of disappointment in his tone if Kyungsoo is reading him right. Sehun turns, as if he’s picked it up too, steals a glance at Jongdae and then turns away as if nothing had happened. “I’m surprised.”

 

“WHY?” Baekhyun bellows, as if Jongdae is belittling his intelligence.

 

Jongdae raises a brow at that, mumbling something about a new and upcoming artist. That tickles at Kyungsoo’s memory and he hears his mother’s voice in his ears as an image from his television flashes in his mind. He may have heard Sehun’s name now that he thinks about it, but he hadn’t paid much attention. What kind of art does Sehun do again? The questions pop up but despite the little pieces of information that Kyungsoo recalls, he has no coherent answers.

 

“How about some free tickets to the exhibition?” Baekhyun waggles his brows, suggestively.

 

“Discount,” Jongdae and Sehun reply at once.

 

Baekhyun frowns, nudges Jongdae and leans into his space, whining about how they’re the best of friends and so he shouldn’t have to do that. Jongdae just laughs again and peels Baekhyun away with his thumb and index finger clipped together. He pushes a distance between them and then firmly shakes his head.

 

“We have to make a living, too,” Jongdae replies and turns to address Taeyeon instead. “Nuna, does he ever pay for anything or does he just live off of you?”

 

Taeyeon laughs, clearly charmed. She glances over at Baekhyun and rolls her eyes, giving Jongdae a knowing look. They share another small smile that has Baekhyun pouting in an attempt to recapture their attention. It doesn’t work and Kyungsoo finds himself being enamoured by the ease in which Jongdae operates. Kyungsoo wonders how he does it but at the same time he wants to shy away from it.

 

That’s not who Kyungsoo is. The temptation to befriend Jongdae is small. Jongdae uses no violence to cut through Baekhyun’s bullshit, but still manages to slip right back into the space reserved for friends. They hit off again like nothing had happened. Jongdae seems to attract people easily. Kyungsoo cannot do that. Before Kyungsoo even realised it, Jongdae had managed to speak without the formalities he needs to use with everyone in the room. He’s still polite, but there’s a cheeky edge to the way that he goes about conversations. It’s a feat that Kyungsoo is unable to achieve.

 

Kyungsoo ends up observing as he goes around to take care of those that are drunk. Everyone drinks late into the night, conversation starting and ending without a clear topic or resolution. Jongdae entertains all ideas that they bring up and he does so on Sehun’s behalf as well. Sehun’s participation is minimal until they are preparing to leave. That’s when he finally pockets his phone and goes through an odd transformation that Kyungsoo did not think was possible. Sehun rises to full length and reaches out for Jongdae, cradling him carefully.

 

“Thanks,” Sehun says with a minute nod in Baekhyun’s direction.

 

“Will you be alright getting home?” Baekhyun asks, a little slurred. Taeyeon pops up by his side and adds her signature eye smile to the offer, “Don’t be shy.”

 

“Yeah,” he replies, transferring Jongdae onto his back. Junmyeon makes an offer too, for going in the opposite direction in case it’s more convenient, but Sehun declines that too. “We’ll be fine.”

 

It is at that moment that Kyungsoo realises Sehun’s cup of soft drink is still filled. He’s had a few refills of beverage, mostly water, but no alcohol. Watching the ease with which Sehun moves with Jongdae on his back, Kyungsoo can only consider Jongdae’s drunkenness a normal occurrence.

 

“Are you sure?” Taeyeon asks, smiling. “We can give you a lift.”

 

Sehun shakes his head, declining again politely. He turns his head into Jongdae’s mop of messy hair, whispers something that has Jongdae whining before stepping away to ensure their exit. It looks like privacy is rather high on Sehun’s priority list. Sehun slips away from the group with Jongdae on his back, mumbling and grumbling about Jongdae’s weight but each of his steps are careful.

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the things that Kyungsoo learns about Jongdae and Sehun are through Baekhyun. Kyungsoo hears it so often he is now able to put Baekhyun on mute, but from time to time, the little things slip through. It is hard to ignore them especially when the nature of his work kicks in. They visit the store often and Kyungsoo works to provide impeccable service. Kyungsoo is also starting to anticipate Jongdae’s banter with Baekhyun. Jongdae may not win all the time, but when he does, Baekhyun’s expression is priceless.

 

Other than that, there’s nothing special about it. Kyungsoo has grown used to having Jongdae and Sehun in the café, whether they are together or separate. Thanks to Baekhyun, they have slowly shifted from being acquaintances to friends. The friendship is something that Kyungsoo had failed to avoid.

 

They receive special treatment but Kyungsoo doesn’t have a single reason to complain. Jongdae and Sehun are good clients. They keep their little space clean, always take the trash with them and dump it into the bin as they exit. They’re also polite, though Sehun can be a little too attached to his phone. Jongdae makes up for it and as a counterpart, Kyungsoo supposes that it’s okay.

 

The fact that he looks forward to seeing them is a good start—maybe not. Just as Kyungsoo comes out of the kitchen with the cake for display, Jongdae rushes forward, slamming his body against the counter, halting too late in his rush. He doesn’t look hurt, but Kyungsoo is more concerned about the cake that had jumped in his hands. Kyungsoo looks up at him and sends a piercing gaze as he takes careful step towards the refrigerated display case. He opens up the door and slides the cake into the empty spot before he gives Jongdae any attention. Jongdae returns his gaze with an apologetic look.

 

“Sorry,” Jongdae puts his hands up in defeat.

 

“Apology accepted,” Kyungsoo deadpans as he shuffles to the register. It takes a moment for his jumpy heart to settle again. This is probably the first time that it’s just the two of them. “What can I get you today?”

 

Jongdae looks around the store and shakes his head. He leans forward and grins. “You guys take orders for cake, right?”

 

Kyungsoo has an urge to remind Jongdae that he’s _not_ Baekhyun but the words fail to come out of his mouth. Instead, Kyungsoo jerks back and rams his leg into the box of eggs, cursing as he hears a few of them crack. Jongdae is a little too close today. He turns back with a glare and Jongdae flashes another apologetic smile that is ready to slip away the moment that Kyungsoo gives in. Without the energy for it today, he brushes the dust off his pants and looks back up.

 

“We do,” Kyungsoo confirms. “Did you want to place an order?”

 

“Yeah!” Jongdae cheers, like a child that has been rewarded, “For this Friday. Doable?”

 

Kyungsoo’s brain starts clicking but the memories are hazy so he steps away for a moment and goes to find the work schedule. He isn’t in on Friday this week. Sojin won’t be in either. She said something about going to visit her father. The cakes for the store will be prepped Thursday so Baekhyun can just take care of the store with their rookies but Kyungsoo can never trust Baekhyun with the task of baking a cake. Even if the client is just Jongdae, Kyungsoo cannot allow it to happen.

 

“What time do you need it by?” Kyungsoo asks, eyes still looking at the schedule.

 

Jongdae hums lowly, “I’d be able to pick it up at noon.”

 

Kyungsoo considers this. If it’s only one order, they won’t need to adjust the schedule. The time is fine, so if he works from home then he should make it on time to take it to the store for Jongdae to pick up.

 

“That’s fine,” Kyungsoo says, coming back with a pen and paper. “What kind of cake are you after?”

 

“Probably chocolate,” Jongdae says and Kyungsoo’s mind instantly flickers to his usual companion. “Everyone likes chocolate, right?”

 

Kyungsoo nods absently and writes down the details as Jongdae gives them. They all come with question mark intonations and it makes him wonder about Jongdae’s speculations. _Probably_ is not very definite. A gift of a cake to be consumed should be enjoyable. Chocolate will be a fine choice for Sehun anyway.

 

“Why are you hesitating?”

 

“Oh,” Jongdae lights up and that’s when Kyungsoo realises that he had voiced his opinion. He swallows but Jongdae isn’t paying him any attention. “The kids, they’re new. Actually, I’m new so I don’t know what they like.”

 

Kyungsoo raises a brow. The image of Jongdae and children aren’t exactly a mismatch. He has the energy of one but Kyungsoo doesn’t remember hearing anything about them. Perhaps he had and it was just one of those times that he had managed to tune out Baekhyun’s rusty voice.

 

“I teach,” Jongdae clarifies, chuckling as if he knew exactly what Kyungsoo is implying with his dead eyes. “A bunch of high schoolers. All the teen angst needs to go.”

 

“So chocolate is the answer,” Kyungsoo snorts, without any further questions. He scribbles down chocolate and looks up. A young person’s palate is different from an adult’s but if Sehun’s anything to go by, Kyungsoo might just have to go a little more on the sweet side.

 

Jongdae beams, “Exactly.”

 

“Alright,” Kyungsoo nods, peeling the sticky note off the pad and sticking it on the wall where the storeroom keys are so that he doesn’t forget it. “You can pick it up at noon on Friday.”

 

“Great,” Jongdae beams with a quick bow. “Thanks, Kyungsoo!”

 

With the issue of cake settled, Jongdae orders tea to go and waves brightly on his way out, like Kyungsoo has just made his day.

 

 

 

 

 

Friday comes around much quicker than Kyungsoo anticipates. Luckily, he’s got a note stuck in his phone and it wakes him up along with the alarm at nine in the morning so that he has enough time to prepare the cake and breakfast. It’s a lazy morning as Kyungsoo brushes his teeth and pads about, still in a state of drowsiness. Once the clock hits nine thirty, his body is ready to move at a quicker pace.

 

Yawning as he enters the kitchen, Kyungsoo pre-heats the oven and pulls the ingredients out one by one to begin the preparation. It doesn’t take very long before the mixture is complete and Kyungsoo is pouring the content into a round cake tin to shape it as it cooks. Kyungsoo puts the tin into the second level and turns the heat up a notch. His oven is a little different from the store’s so Kyungsoo checks the cake regularly. Once the tip of the toothpick comes out clean, he takes it out and leaves it to cool.

 

In the hour that it cools, Kyungsoo pours some milk into his bowl of cereal for breakfast. Before he sits, Kyungsoo picks up another book from his shelves to card through the pages while he eats. The next time his alarm goes off, Kyungsoo puts the book back and changes into more appropriate clothing for his trip outside. Once he’s done with his clothes, Kyungsoo returns his attention to the cake. He tops it up with the icing as needed and slides it into the box that he had taken from the store. Popping the box handle up for easy handling, Kyungsoo swipes the keys from the corner of the kitchen counter and heads out.

 

Despite his preparation to arrive on time, Kyungsoo arrives there early. Baekhyun waves him in and he does so politely to make conversation. Baekhyun offers to make Kyungsoo some chamomile tea which Kyungsoo kindly accepts because his mother had often told him that it is rude to reject someone’s gift. It’s not a bad gift anyway. Chamomile tea is not overly fragrant and has a soothing effect to it. Kyungsoo could use that to cool down his sometimes too-quick temper.

 

“Is that the cake the Jongdae ordered?” Baekhyun smiles.

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo darts his eyes over to the box that lays on the counter, but not without catching the feral look in Baekhyun’s eyes. The moment that Baekhyun makes a move, Kyungsoo swats his hand away. ”Hands off.”

 

Baekhyun yelps and then slips back towards the machine to remove the teabag from the cup. Then he slides the cup of tea over and takes the chance to steal a glance through the clear cellophane wrapping on to the top of the box, humming pleasantly, “As expected of you, Do Kyungsoo.”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. This is the normal standard for him. Kyungsoo enjoys the baking so he puts his efforts into it. Besides, it’ll be children eating this so he hopes that they’ll be a little happier. That will allow him to meet his goals and probably Jongdae’s, though what the goal is, Kyungsoo is not sure. It’s probably flattery from what Kyungsoo can gather but it doesn’t matter much.

 

“Can’t I have a slice?” Baekhyun pouts.

 

Kyungsoo points to the refrigerated display case next to the counter, “You have a whole display of cakes right there.”

 

Baekhyun turns to the fridge and stares. He turns back about to pout, which Kyungsoo thinks is funny, but before he can see it, the mood is spoiled. Kyungsoo jumps at the clattering sound of glass breaking at the corner of the café and jerks again when the argument begins rising in volume. Baekhyun bites down on his lip, suppressing a long sigh. Baekhyun comes out from behind the counter with a broom and dustpan in hand. He waves Kyungsoo off, signalling his ability to handle the situation.

 

Kyungsoo watches him from the side, ready to intervene. Most of the time, he doesn’t have to. Baekhyun carries a reliably sharp tongue. Kyungsoo is more silently intimidating so he doesn’t do so well with overly vocal customers. They tend to yell and Kyungsoo’s irritation quickly turns into a threat of violence. He doesn’t have much strength to fulfil the threat, but reporting into the police station on a count of attempted assault is not the way that Kyungsoo wants to visit his boyfriend.

 

Kyungsoo gets ready to take a step over when the guy starts spitting threats of violence in Baekhyun’s face for trying to break up the fight. Baekhyun clenches his fists and Kyungsoo steps in, frowning deeply as he recites some of the codes that Yifan has mentioned in the past. He’s not attempting to act fraudulent but it works to his advantage so Kyungsoo plays on it a little bit.

 

The guy backs down, muttering curses as he picks up his things and leaves. Kyungsoo steps aside so that Baekhyun can sweep. Kyungsoo is about to ask the remaining patron a question when the phone vibrates in his pocket. Pulling it out of his pocket, he swipes the screen and says his greetings cordially but his mother’s words are cut off but rude swearing from the remaining patron. Kyungsoo bites his tongue. He can already hear it coming.

 

“Omma—”

 

She doesn’t even wait to finish what she’d had intended to say before and starts hounding him about the job. Baekhyun throws him a look of sympathy and Kyungsoo just shakes his head. He returns to the counter, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder so that he can pick up the tea and box of cake. He gives Baekhyun a little frown as he exits the café to take the call. Baekhyun’s heard enough of it over the years so there’s no need to subject him to the exhaustion again.

 

“No, omma,” Kyungsoo grits his teeth, exiting the store.

 

He turns and stops short in his steps. The presence of people has always been clear to him. Avoiding them is something that’s ingrained. He does however look up to glare, because nearly knocking the guy over isn’t _his_ fault. His glare falls short as realisation falls upon him. It’s just Jongdae. Jongdae is looking a little awkward, backing away and trying to hide the plastic cup of iced coffee in his hands.

 

“Um,” Jongdae says, curling his fingers around the cup. Kyungsoo manages to read the label anyway, _Red Velvet_. They’re a rival store. “It’s not what you think.”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head and turns away to finish the conversation with his mother. He speaks in a soft tone, trying to ease her anger. She only raises her voice and Kyungsoo winces but he takes it all in. He doesn’t make any promises to quit, but allows her to vent until she hangs up. They’ll have to talk about it again later but Kyungsoo cannot do it today. The timing is just terrible. Once done, Kyungsoo turns to Jongdae, prompting Jongdae to go on.

 

“Ah, I wasn’t in the area,” Jongdae says, as if that’s a smart answer. He adds on a smile and Kyungsoo just finds it irritating. “Promise.”

 

“Two streets down isn’t in the area,” Kyungsoo remarks, with a look that says _you can do better Kim Jongdae_.

 

“Well,” Jongdae scratches his cheek, conceding to defeat. “To be honest, your coffee sucks.”

 

Kyungsoo stares. He knows that the look he’s giving Jongdae is bordering on deathly. He’s being unreasonable too, Kyungsoo knows, because he doesn’t even drink his own coffee. Kyungsoo is more of a tea person. He also knows that he’s not really good at steaming the milk for coffee. Seeing as Jongdae is a coffee lover, it only makes sense that he’s picky about his choice but still, Kyungsoo is not in the mood to hear more criticism.

 

“But,” Jongdae is quick to amend, eyes lighting up, “Your cakes are another story.”

 

Without the energy in him to fight Jongdae on it, Kyungsoo just shakes his head. He knows that his coffee-making skills aren’t the best in _Grace_ , but still, Jongdae did not need to be so blunt about it. Actually, it doesn’t really matter. Kyungsoo just wants someone to baby him after his mother’s scolding. It’s nothing new but he still feels the need to be comforted. Jongdae shouldn’t be that person, but he’s the only one here.

 

“So… that’s why you never order coffee when I’m the only one in store?”

 

Jongdae swallows nervously, tongue running across his lips like he has something else to add on but doesn’t. Jongdae chuckles awkwardly, trying to hide his guilt. Kyungsoo wins the jackpot but he feels like he’s gone for broke. Just because of Jongdae, he feels the need to polish his skills. Kyungsoo has the patience for baking but coffee is different. Kyungsoo always steams the milk too long and he always messes up the portion of a shot of coffee. That’s why the boss keeps Baekhyun but Kyungsoo doesn’t need to tell Jongdae that.

 

“I wouldn’t go anywhere else for cake,” Jongdae comforts with a wide smile. “Or cookies.”

 

Kyungsoo snorts. Jongdae rarely has any sweets. He nibbles on it occasionally, but the main consumer of Kyungsoo’s cake and cookies at _Grace_ is Sehun. Sehun has a sweet tooth that is unmatched. For every day that Sehun has come to the café, Kyungsoo has only seen him consume sweet on sweet. Jongdae’s a terrible liar. Kyungsoo forgives him for it but he makes a note to remember.

 

“End of your shift?” Jongdae asks, making conversation. He waves at Baekhyun inside the store and falls into step with Kyungsoo after he takes the box out of Kyungsoo’s hands. “How was your day?”

 

“Okay,” is Kyungsoo’s flat response.

 

“Come then,” Jongdae suggests brightly, not even bothering to pick up on it. He indicates a right turn at the lights, lifting the cup into the air, right into Kyungsoo’s sight as if he’s trying to be spiteful. “I’m sure the kids would love to meet you. You know, food is the way to everyone’s heart right?”

 

“Through their stomach?” Kyungsoo bites back before Jongdae can even attempt being lame. “And then back up?”

 

“Right. You get me. That’s good.” Jongdae laughs and turns to face Kyungsoo with a bright, expectant smile. It’s the kind of smile that he gives Baekhyun and it’s scary that he’s waiting until he gets an affirmative. “How about it?”

 

Kyungsoo pauses. When should he tell Jongdae about his strong dislike of strange and new people? Is it even appropriate to say that now that they’ve become friends even though they were strangers at the beginning? If he begins, it’ll prompt him to say unpleasant things about Jongdae’s presence in his life too. How appropriate is that, if they’re seeing each other rather frequently?

 

“Sure,” Kyungsoo ends up shrugging. It’s better than going home and being annoyed about things that are out of his control. “Lead the way.”

 

Jongdae hides a little smile behind the cup and walks on, his other hand holding onto the box carefully. Kyungsoo sips at his own cup of tea, waiting for its calming effects to kick in. The warmth of the hot liquid spreads slowly and fills the little ache in his chest, drowning the feelings of despair that he had felt moments ago as he follows the sound of Jongdae’s humming all the way to the school.

 

“This way,” Jongdae cuts in between his thoughts, pointing to the side entrance. Then he stops with consideration and adds in a warning that shows Jongdae has a perfect reading of Kyungsoo. “It’s my first year class so they’re pretty rowdy. Will you be alright?”

 

It sounds like Jongdae will be introducing him to a class of twenty Baekhyuns. The imagery that comes along with it is horrible but Jongdae is already walking on ahead without him. Having come this far already, Kyungsoo might as well join him. If he leaves now, he’ll be alone with his own thoughts and without anything to fill his stomach except for the tea that’s already gone. Kyungsoo chases with a few steps and Jongdae’s laughing again as he advances the stairs.

 

“Wait,” Kyungsoo stops now that reality has caught up, “What are you going to tell them I’m here for?”

 

Jongdae stops for a short moment and then grins widely, “Auditing.”

 

His answer is smooth, as if he hadn’t just thought of the idea even though Kyungsoo knows better. Kyungsoo has no confidence that this will go well. Even if the students buy the idea, none of the staff will. He conveys his disapproval by crossing his arms at his chest, challenging Jongdae to present another idea.

 

“It’ll be fine,” Jongdae dismisses his concern, waving one hand, hoisting the box of cake with the other. “I’ll just say it’s for me and not them, so they’ll relax. You can sit in the back. We have a spare seat.”

 

Jongdae begins walking away and ten steps later, turns back to Kyungsoo who is still stuck in the same spot. Jongdae draws a frown on his face and tilts his head slightly to the left, looking at Kyungsoo from a skewed angle.

 

“You’re already here, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae teases. “You can really audit if it’ll make you feel better.”

 

“So I can send in a complaint if you suck?” Kyungsoo challenges. He doesn’t even know what the criteria is, but he’ll give Jongdae hell for it anyway.

 

“Sure,” Jongdae chokes up in laughter, “I won’t suck, though.”

 

 _Challenge accepted_ , Kyungsoo’s eyes convey as he advances, following Jongdae’s footsteps. When they get to the door, Jongdae tells Kyungsoo to wait outside while he briefs his students on the new situation. Kyungsoo clears his throat and stands his ground even though he feels a little fidgety about being left alone. If another teacher were to walk by right now, he wouldn’t have an excuse to fend for himself.

 

“Won’t be long,” Jongdae assures.

 

Kyungsoo nods, waving him off so that it’ll be done quickly. Jongdae does exactly as he had proposed as he slides the door open to announce his grand entrance. The students in his class are a little restless, shuffling back into their seats with a rush, sending papers flying in all directions. It reminds Kyungsoo of his own high school days.

 

“Afternoon,” Jongdae says with cheer as he places the cake down on his desk. The kids eye it carefully and he smiles. “Today we have a guest,” he waves Kyungsoo in, leaving him no room to escape. “This is Do Kyungsoo. He’ll be auditing my teaching today. He’ll sit at the back and he’s just watching me so you guys don’t have anything to worry about.”

 

Jongdae raises a brow at them, prompting a slow and slurred greeting. None of them are in sync and there’s still some murmuring in the background but it’s good enough for the both of them. Kyungsoo nods, acting the part but turns to Jongdae, eyes screaming for help. The kids aren’t as bad as he’d expected but their number is overwhelming. Why did he even agree to this kind of torture to begin with?

 

“Do Kyungsoo-ssi, you can take the seat at the back there,” Jongdae says, pointing to the corner by the window. Kyungsoo filters through to it and slides in, feeling odd in the seat. He always sat in front for his classes so seeing a line of heads before him is odd. “We’re going to start with the roll.”

 

Jongdae pulls a piece of paper out of his bag along with a pen and begins going down the list. Zoning out completely because the class is not for him, Kyungsoo takes the chance to stare out the window. He remembers seeing students do it in his time and now he finally has the chance and without getting into any trouble, so why not? Half-way through the list after the surname Cha, Jongdae says _Do Kyungsoo_ to which Kyungsoo remains silent until the kids prompt him to answer. Kyungsoo looks up at Jongdae and arches a brow.

 

“Do Kyungsoo?” Jongdae’s voice carries over and eventually, there’s a loud tapping against the board to catch his attention. “Do Kyungsoo? What outside that window is so interesting that you’re ignoring me?”

 

Kyungsoo blinks. Jongdae looks at him expectantly and Kyungsoo stares back, eyes widening with each second because he’s _not_ going to answer Jongdae. Jongdae holds his stare without backing down and it feels like Kyungsoo doesn’t have a choice. Soon enough, the students turn their heads at him, waiting too. Jongdae’s humour already has them wrapped around his little finger. _God damn it_ , Kyungsoo thinks, rolling his eyes just so Jongdae can see his disapproval loud and clear.

 

For the sake of having the class move on, he answers, “Present.”

 

Jongdae smiles wide, causing laughter to rouse out of the students. Jongdae resumes going through the list and once he’s done, he thanks everyone for showing up and Kyungsoo too, for his presence once in a blue moon—ensuring more cheery laughter out of his students before he starts his class. Kyungsoo hopes that that is the end of it, but it’s not. Where the students fail to answer the questions that Jongdae poses during his class, he picks on Kyungsoo. There is no time for Kyungsoo to think about anything else.

 

It’s a fairly consistent Philosophy class, with interruptions every now and then, when the students begin to ask questions. Their only intention of asking is to find a loophole to get away from the problem. Jongdae always shuts them down, using Kyungsoo as an example to draw the class together again. And before Kyungsoo knows it, it’s the end of Jongdae’s class. He ends on a bright note, congratulating them for surviving his gruelling class and offers the cake that’s been sitting there as bait not to ditch his class halfway through.

 

“Class rep,” Jongdae says, ending the class a good fifteen minutes early. “Could you please say a word of thanks to Kyungsoo for finally joining us today?”

 

Kyungsoo clicks his tongue and shakes his head. He cannot believe that Jongdae’s up to playing that game. Still, he finds himself feeling fond of them when the class representative follows along and delivers her little thank you speech. He snorts and ends up playing along, joking that he’d come again if they’d have him. The students break into a little cheer at that and Jongdae offers the cake, leaving them to it as he stands on the side watching.

 

“Thanks for playing along,” Jongdae says, “I know you made the cake but will you have a slice too?”

 

Kyungsoo nods because the class representative is already bringing the two of them a slice. Jongdae accepts it with glee and Kyungsoo nods with a soft word of thanks falling from his lips. She smiles up at him and returns to her station where they are distributing the rest of the slices amongst her classmates. The students aren’t as bad as Jongdae had made them out to be. Jongdae must be a perfectionist.

 

In the face of cake, they share pretty well. Kyungsoo stands straight to correct his posture as his mother always demands and Jongdae is leaning against the desk behind him with a huge grin on his face. Jongdae is watching them fondly and Kyungsoo has to ask why he goes this far.

 

“Oh,” Jongdae drops his volume down, “Just to perk them up for the next teacher.”

 

Kyungsoo looks over the students again and makes no comment on the issue. They do look pretty drained—not that Jongdae’s class was tedious—but he can understand the weight of another class after this. Jongdae is going far enough for Kyungsoo to conclude that he really enjoys his job. However, Kyungsoo has a little bit of doubt in him. Half of the time it looks like Jongdae’s just trying to win over the heart of his new students to make his job easier.

 

“So,” Jongdae grins, arms prepped on his hips, challenging Kyungsoo’s question from earlier. “How did I do today, Do Kyungsoo-ssi?”

 

“You were annoying,” Kyungsoo smiles widely, as the students pass.

 

They giggle and Kyungsoo feels like he’s just managed to get a bit of revenge.

 

“How so?” Jongdae gasps. The students stop momentarily, tuning into their conversation. He’s doing it for show. “I was pretty engaging!”

 

“You—” Kyungsoo has to stop because _okay, that’s true but_ — “You weren’t supposed to pull me into it.”

 

“Pfft,” Jongdae snorts, “You enjoyed it.”

 

Reflecting on it, Kyungsoo has to agree. The visit was a good choice. It’s a different working environment and it had been fun, though the actual work is probably not for him. There’s no way Kyungsoo can deal with emotionally driven young teens. That seems to be Jongdae’s forte—and Kyungsoo begrudgingly admits that Baekhyun had been right. Kyungsoo might fit into the rebellious asocial that Jongdae might be tempted to probe.

 

Jongdae works a miracle with the students, lighting up their faces with the most outrageous and lame jokes. Then he tops it off with Kyungsoo’s cake, which easily helps to turn all bad moods upside down. As soon as they exit the school, Kyungsoo feels a little more relaxed. He was a little on edge of being caught by the principal but that had not happened. All in all, Kyungsoo can conclude that his day ends on a good note.

 

“Dinner?” Jongdae offers, stretching out his arms with a groan.

 

“What about Sehun?” Kyungsoo replies cautiously.

 

“What?” Jongdae pouts, dropping the box into the nearby bin. “Sick of me already?”

 

Kyungsoo gives him a flat stare, taking no shit, nor Jongdae’s pretence of hurt. Now that he doesn’t have an audience for protection, Kyungsoo’s glare gets to him and he shrinks a little.

 

“Okay,” Jongdae exhales in a fond manner. Kyungsoo has seen it enough times to be irked. Jongdae’s treating him like a child. “He’s out with Minseok hyung,” Kyungsoo makes a face, asking for an explanation because he doesn’t know who Minseok is. “Minseok hyung is like his manager?”

 

“Ah,” Kyungsoo hums, feeling elated that Jongdae’s finally at defeat. “So you’re the one that’s lonely.”

 

Jongdae doesn’t make a fuss. “Right.”

 

“Alright,” Kyungsoo snorts, “Dinner?”

 

“Dinner,” Jongdae affirms with a nod.

 

 

 

 

 

Shortly after that successful dinner, Kyungsoo’s encounters with Jongdae outside the café become a frequent occurrence. The days that Minseok occupies Sehun’s time are more often than not. Jongdae, who does not wish to be teased by Baekhyun, slips away with Kyungsoo as his shield. And for Kyungsoo, hanging with Jongdae where his other friends cannot, is better than sitting at home alone and nursing a phone call where his mother is nagging him about an occupational change.

 

Soon, hanging out with Jongdae when they have no one else just becomes a _thing_. They only discuss it if they need to. Otherwise they fall into a comfortable routine. Kyungsoo draws the line at a maximum of twice a week. Kyungsoo is not ready to indulge Jongdae anymore than that and Jongdae prefers to spend time with Sehun whenever he can have it anyway.

 

It’s nice for Kyungsoo to have someone that’s outside of his usual social circle as a friend. Sure, Jongdae knows everyone in his social circle, but he’s not a chatterbox. He teases but does not spill secrets—not that Kyungsoo readily shares any. Jongdae is pretty much the same. Other than the things that Kyungsoo hears from Baekhyun or overhears from the conversation he shares with Sehun, Kyungsoo doesn’t have much knowledge of Jongdae.

 

It’s nice to have a friend that knows you but doesn’t really know you. They have a comfortable distance that makes everything a little bit easier. There’s no tension about crossing the line because they’re always being careful around each other. Before Kyungsoo knew it, it became comfortable to conduct himself carefully around Jongdae. Soon after that, they move with so much ease that it makes their relationship casual rather than strained.

 

So instead of dinner tonight, Jongdae had invited Kyungsoo out for casual drinking. Jongdae had ignored Baekhyun, later telling Kyungsoo that he cannot keep up with Baekhyun’s drinking habits and had decided to make Kyungsoo his victim instead. That’s how they ended up in a _pojangmacha_ snacking on spicy rice cakes. Rather than drinking, Kyungsoo fills Jongdae’s shot glass with some cheap soju to give Jongdae that bit of a buzz. It’s the second bottle and Jongdae has had one and a half of them. When Kyungsoo stops pouring out of concern, Jongdae reaches for it and refills his own glass.

 

“Is something wrong today?” Kyungsoo asks, taking the bottle away once Jongdae sets it back down. “Though you drink on all occasions…”

 

“It’s just me,” Jongdae giggles, pointing to himself, “In denial of reality.”

 

Kyungsoo sighs but keeps his worries hidden. Jongdae’s face remains bright and cheery. Jongdae is a little bit tipsy but not drunk enough to become a burden. To be certain, Kyungsoo pours the rest of the soju into his cup and drinks it in one shot then puts a stop to Jongdae’s nonsensical behaviour.

 

“I have to go,” Kyungsoo announces, glancing at his watch. “You should probably head home too.”

 

Jongdae looks up at him with a pout, “Do I have to?”

 

“Should I call Sehun?” Kyungsoo replies. The threat is an empty one. Kyungsoo doesn’t have Sehun’s number but getting it shouldn’t be too hard, unless Baekhyun is in the mood to tease. “Hm?”

 

“I’m done!” Jongdae exclaims, jumping to his feet with a sober smile. Jongdae slips his hands into his pocket to pull out a few notes that he leaves on the table, where Kyungsoo’s half sits. Before he leaves, Jongdae turns to the owner and smiles, “Thank you!”

 

The stumble out of the small tent together and Kyungsoo takes a deep breath of fresh air to clear his head. Once he’s had his fill, Kyungsoo stops moving altogether and turns to Jongdae who he feels is staring at him.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo demands, eyes narrowed.

 

“Ah,” Jongdae laughs, his hand reaching to tug at the ends of his hair. Jongdae’s eyes dart to Kyungsoo’s hair to indicate what he means. “You’ve got something…”

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo mouths.

 

Kyungsoo’s hands automatically reach up and he cards his fingers through the stand of his hair. Once his hands are free of his hair, Kyungsoo lowers it and looks between his fingers to see if he can find what it was that was stuck in his hair but he finds nothing. Frowning, Kyungsoo cards his fingers through his hair again but Jongdae is still looking with a fond smile on his face. It’s after the third attempt that Jongdae laughs and interrupts him.

 

“Stay still,” Jongdae laughs, gesturing to himself. “I’ll help.”

 

Kyungsoo immediately drops his hand and takes a step back. He stares at Jongdae with disbelief but as usual, Jongdae rolls his eyes, like Kyungsoo’s concern means nothing. Jongdae takes a step forward and Kyungsoo takes another one back, hands outstretched in front of him to put some distance between the two of them.

 

Kyungsoo warns, “Jongdae.”

 

“I’m not going to bite,” Jongdae assures.

 

Jongdae stands at that distance and uses his fingers to pick at whatever it is that is stuck in Kyungsoo’s hair. Kyungsoo waits, holding in his breath, fearful but without the proper words to express it. When he finally exhales because he cannot hold his breath any longer, he opens his eyes and notices a little twist of a smirk in Jongdae’s smile and then the tugging of the strands of his hair.

 

“Are you playing with my hair right now?” Kyungsoo frowns.

 

Jongdae laughs out loud, eyes sparkling with mischief, as if his aim is to see Kyungsoo squirm. “See!  Nothing’s wrong.”

 

Kyungsoo glares at him and takes two steps back, leaving Jongdae’s hand with nothing to play with. Jongdae smiles, holds his hands up in surrender and takes a step back, too. Kyungsoo looks down at their feet and then back up, nodding in approval of the distance between them.

 

“Sorry,” Jongdae finally admits, but he’s not really sorry about it at all. “I’ll see you later?”

 

“Goodnight,” Kyungsoo says, body turned to the left. “I’m going that way.”

 

“That way’s not home though?” Jongdae looks as confused as he sounds. Jongdae is also concerned. It’s a feeling Kyungsoo has come to learn surfaces a lot in Jongdae whenever things seem to sway from his original thought. “You’re not drunk on that little bit of soju, are you?”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. Sometimes Jongdae treats him like a child and although slightly tipsy, Kyungsoo thinks that it should be the other way around. From time to time, it is nice to be cared for but when Kyungsoo is on alcohol, no matter how much or how little, his tolerance for his elders babying him isn’t as strong as it normally is.

 

“I’m picking someone up,” Kyungsoo replies with a dismissive wave.

 

“Oh,” Jongdae mouths and gestures to call with his hand. “Then give me a call if something comes up.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo assures Jongdae gently, even though the urge to roll his eyes again is strong. If Kyungsoo were in trouble, he knows that it is more sensible to call 119 first, but if he really needed to, Yifan would be his first call. “Get home safely.”

 

“Yes, yes,” Jongdae singsongs, “Will do.”

 

He walks away first and Kyungsoo turns back just to check. He’s not surprised that Jongdae is ducking into the convenience store. Jongdae is probably on his way to grab some chocolate for Sehun. Kyungsoo cannot help the little smile that surfaces on his face and he thinks that Jongdae’s devotion is cute, if only Sehun were as receptive.

 

 

 

 

 

“He’s like a child,” Kyungsoo says, fondness dancing alongside his words. Sometimes, Sehun makes a face and it reminds Kyungsoo of Zitao, a friend that Kyungsoo had met back in high school when the boy had come over from China for international exchange. “Kind of like Zitao.”

 

Smiling, Yifan nods in acknowledgement as he swings the grocery bag that is being shared between him and Kyungsoo. Yifan had seen some photos from Kyungsoo’s high school days and remembers Kyungsoo saying that he had been assigned the task of showing Zitao around and helping him out with his Korean.

 

“It’s chocolate this, chocolate that,” Kyungsoo says and then adds thoughtfully. “Our revenue for chocolate has increased though.”

 

“Sounds like Zitao,” Yifan agrees. “Candy was everything to that kid, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo snorts, keying the door. “Then there’s pink.”

 

Yifan slips through with him and they both drop their shoes off at the entrance. Yifan slips out of his jacket and hands it over to Kyungsoo who hangs it on the coat rack as he takes the groceries inside. Shortly after, Kyungsoo joins him in the kitchen so that they can get started on making dinner.

 

“What about pink?” Yifan asks to continue the conversation.

 

Turning on the tap, Yifan rinses the rice thoroughly before filling the cooker pot with water, using his hand to measure the correct amount. Yifan starts the cooker and returns his focus to Kyungsoo.

 

“Pink,” Kyungsoo laughs, “Is Sehun’s favourite colour, I think.”

 

Yifan hums to show his interest but his hands are moving quickly over the vegetables that need to be chopped. Yifan gives the chopping board a wipe down and sets the carrots down on it and then begins chopping finely.

 

“Every time I turn around, he’s asking Jongdae for the pink colour pencil,” Kyungsoo replies thoughtfully. “I wonder what it’s like.”

 

Yifan’s knife stops and he turns to Kyungsoo, almost ready to describe when he stops. Kyungsoo is too busy slicing the chicken breast to notice, so Yifan allows it to slide. They’ve spoken about it before but every time it comes up Yifan always feels unsettled.

 

“Do you want to know?” Yifan asks as he resumes chopping.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles, “It’s not that I _want_ to know. I guess, I’m a little curious these days… when it was Baekhyun and Taeyeon nuna it was just normal, you know? Jongdae and Sehun are different.”

 

“Cucumbers?” Yifan requests as he scrapes the carrots off to the side. Kyungsoo grabs the cucumbers and places them onto Yifan’s chopping board. “So I’m not being ditched?”

 

Kyungsoo snorts, “You wish.”

 

“I don’t,” Yifan replies, half-jokingly and turns to Kyungsoo with a pout. “I really, really don’t.”

 

“Silly,” Kyungsoo shakes his head and puts a hand on Yifan’s to stop him from using the knife, “Eyes on the board or you’re going to hurt yourself.”

 

“I still haven’t met them, right?” Yifan laughs. “Soojung mentioned them too. She said that she really wants to meet Sehun. She’s a fan, apparently.”

 

“You’ll meet them soon. Baekhyun’s planning to buy that house. There’s no way for you to get out of the housewarming party,” Kyungsoo replies. Seeing how things are, Sehun and Jongdae are likely to be a permanent part of their lives now. Kyungsoo sets the seasoned meat aside and picks up the items to make the sauce. “But Soojung… yeah. She didn’t show up at Baekhyun’s gathering so she hasn’t met them either.”

 

“Oh,” Yifan hums, “They’re finally moving in together?”

 

Kyungsoo chokes on his laughter, “Baekhyun’s been dumping his things at Taeyeon’s for a while now. I think she’s getting sick of it.”

 

Yifan chuckles and settles all the chopped vegetables aside. He turns towards the stove and puts the flame on. Kyungsoo follows him, setting the saucepan onto the fire and then waiting for it to heat up before he pours the oil in. Kyungsoo shakes his head as he catches the smirk dancing on Yifan’s lips. Yifan is thinking about it again and Kyungsoo is not going to let it get to him. Kyungsoo turns back to the counter to chop up the green onions for garnish. Yifan hands him a little plate so that he can move the green onions off the chopping board.

 

When the pan starts to sizzle, Yifan and Kyungsoo both turn around at once. Kyungsoo brings the garlic and Yifan takes the wooden spoon to stir. The pan starts spitting the moment that Kyungsoo pours the garlic in and the aroma quickly fills the room, arousing their appetite. Kyungsoo begins reaching out for the wooden spoon to stir, but the rice cooker ‘beeps’ and Yifan chuckles, knocking his hip into Kyungsoo and pushing him aside.

 

“Soo, go stir the rice, I’ve got the saucepan,” Yifan teases. He stirs the garlic and inhales the aroma that’s filling the room as the garlic cooks. Once the garlic is golden, Yifan pours in the diced onions in.

 

“Yifan,” Kyungsoo interrupts, willing away the heat of embarrassment that is building on his cheeks. The memory is not so much embarrassing, just the reasons for it. He picks up the bowl and dumps the sliced chicken breast into the hot pan, watching it sizzle. “We agreed not to bring that up again.”

 

“Okay,” Yifan laughs, knocking his shoulder against Kyungsoo, “Please stir the rice?”

 

Kyungsoo looks up at him and frowns because he knows that Yifan’s brain is ticking with the memory on repeat. There’s that silly smile on his face, all knowing and yet all forgiving at the same time. There’s no denying that he’s thinking about it and Kyungsoo should be upset but instead he’s fond.

 

“Watch the flame,” Kyungsoo reminds.

 

“Yes, yes,” Yifan assures, stirring the meat.

 

As Yifan watches the stove, stirring the food and then adding the vegetables and sauces, Kyungsoo finishes stirring the rice. He closes the lid of the conventional machine and heads over to his fridge. The side dishes that Kyungsoo has prepared in advance are stored in airtight boxes. He pulls them out one by one and begins distributing them evenly on small plates. By the time he is done, Yifan is heating up the leftover soup that Kyungsoo made last night.

 

“Did Soojung say anything else to you?” Kyungsoo questions as he scopes the mixed grain rice into the bowls.

 

“She didn’t,” Yifan answers.

 

Yifan brings the soup pot to the dinner table while Kyungsoo brings utensils and rice bowls. He hands over the soup spoon and looks up at Yifan with a frown.

 

“Really?”

 

“You think something’s wrong?” Yifan replies, pulling off an oven mitten and ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair affectionately. “Have you tried calling her?”

 

“I got her voicemail,” Kyungsoo replies, moving back into the kitchen to get the meat, “And she sent me a message on LINE saying that she’d call me back when she has time.”

 

Yifan sticks his head into the fridge, grabs bottle of lime-infused water and pours two cups. He returns to the table at the same time as Kyungsoo and they slip into their seats with ease. Kyungsoo sits the plate of meat stir-fry down and Yifan slips the cup of chilled water into the space on Kyungsoo’s left.

 

“You can give her a call later,” Yifan says, handing Kyungsoo a napkin before they start the meal. “She should be free.”

 

“Ah,” Kyungsoo looks up at him with a smile, “It’s the Finals today isn’t it?”

 

Yifan nods to affirm. Kyungsoo hums in response and scoops some rice. Before he can shove the spoon into his mouth, Yifan picks up some kimchi and places it on top. Kyungsoo looks down at his spoon and then takes the bite with a grin. Kyungsoo has long given up trying to get Yifan to just eat his own meal without worrying for Kyungsoo.

 

After dinner, they both take turns cleaning. Yifan washes the dishes and Kyungsoo dries them and then puts the items back into their respective places. Once done, they both curl up on the couch together to tune into the skating competition. The two of them squeeze into the corner of the couch, Yifan pressed against the arm rest and Kyungsoo pressed lazily against him.

 

Kyungsoo nods off slowly during the performances but the announcement of Soojung’s name wakes him. When Soojung finally comes on with a bow, Kyungsoo makes a comment about the weight that she’s lost from training and frowns into Yifan’s chest. Kyungsoo tries hard to stay awake for the performance but the mix that Soojung’s mentor had chosen is so slow, it puts him to sleep faster.

 

When he wakes up in the morning, Kyungsoo finds himself tucked into his fluffy bed. It’s comfortable and when he sits up, there are no cricks in his neck, which makes the start of the day better. Kyungsoo rubs his eyes to fully wake himself, moving aside the covers to put his feet on the floor. He notices a note between his clock and his charging phone.

 

_The station called. I’ll call you later!_

_\- Yifan._

 

The flashing blue light on his phone next catches his attention. It’s a voicemail from Soojung that by the end of it has a little smile dancing on Kyungsoo’s lips.

 

 

 

 

 

“So, we have a birthday,” Jongdae says, tugging Kyungsoo loosely by the sleeve into the seat next to his. Kyungsoo lowers his gaze to Jongdae’s finger and stares until Jongdae lets go with a dismissive laugh, “Sorry, have a seat for a sec.”

 

Kyungsoo slips into the chair but whips his head around just to make sure that there’s someone at the counter to serve their incoming customers. Jongdae ends up clicking his tongue and telling Kyungsoo to just bully Baekhyun and Sojin a little while he can. There’s no argument against that so he turns around and pulls his chair apart from Jongdae’s an inch before he turns to face Jongdae for proper conversation.

 

“For one of your students?” Kyungsoo asks, pulling the notepad out of the apron pocket. “Are you placing an order?”

 

“Yes,” Jongdae agrees. “Are you any good at shortcake?”

 

Kyungsoo throws Jongdae a dirty look, daring him to repeat the question and Jongdae just shrugs. Jongdae only apologises once he’s done having his fun. The death glare rarely seems to work on Jongdae, probably because he sees no threat. Kyungsoo should really up his game because he feels like he’s being trampled all over.

 

“Sehun,” Jongdae calls, kicking his feet under the table, a little too harshly that the table jerks.

 

Sehun looks up, glances across Jongdae’s gesture and there is an immediate understanding between them. Sehun pulls a pen out of his pencil case and hands it over to Kyungsoo before lowering his head to continue working on his next composition. Kyungsoo picks it up with a quiet thanks before he tunes into Jongdae’s request.

 

“They’re usually strawberry,” Kyungsoo informs. There are a few things he can do, but it’s what Jongdae wants that’s important. “You’re not going to make a guess again are you?”

 

Jongdae cups his chin and hums for a good minute, “Strawberry… I think strawberry’s good. Who doesn’t like strawberry?”

 

“It’s not chocolate,” Kyungsoo chides fondly.

 

“Details,” Jongdae rolls his eyes.

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head and writes down ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ at the top of the page and turns to Jongdae, asking for more _details_ because that’s exactly what he needs. Jongdae jumps between a 10 inch round cake and thirty smaller sized ones and Kyungsoo just taps the pen while waiting for him to decide.

 

“Let’s just do servings,” Jongdae decides finally. “Ah but, please make Hyejin’s portion larger.”

 

“I know,” Kyungsoo nods, adding Hyejin’s name on the page so that he can write it on the sugar plating that he’ll be making. “Anything else?”

 

“No,” Jongdae replies grinning from ear to ear, “Thank—”

 

Jongdae stops himself, voice disappearing as he turns to Sehun. Kyungsoo follows Jongdae’s gaze and finds Sehun across the table, staring at the both of them. Jongdae seems to notice everything about Sehun. All the boy has to do is stop scratching the paper with his pencil to draw Jongdae’s attention. Kyungsoo had been listening but his ears aren’t trained for the sound. Sehun sets the pencil he had been using down on the table and hugs the sketchbook close to his face as he looks from Jongdae and then Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo returns the gaze with confusion while Jongdae just breaks the silence with his laughter.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jongdae asks, kindly. “Do you need another hot chocolate?”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes dart to the mug and he finds it empty. The lack of hot chocolate may well be the reason that Sehun had stopped working—Kyungsoo has seen this happen before—but Sehun shakes his head, solemnly. Instead, the boy puts his art book down onto the table and picks up the pencil again and holds it horizontally, measuring the distance between the two of them. Kyungsoo raises a brow and Sehun narrows his eyes as he studies the space between them.

 

Jongdae amuses him with a laugh, “What’s wrong, Sehun-ah?”

 

Sehun stares for a long moment and then lowers his pencil to the page, “Nine centimetres.”

 

A moment of silence passes as Kyungsoo tries to decipher Sehun’s words. Kyungsoo lowers his eyes to the space between them and raises a brow. Is it an exact nine or is Sehun just saying it as a reference to his drawing? Jongdae on the other hand, stares at the boy dumbfounded for a moment before he laughs it off—something that Kyungsoo notices he does in most stagnant situations—and gets up, excusing himself for the restroom. At that, Sehun shrugs and twirls the pencil back into his grip and picks up his art book to begin sketching again, like he hadn’t said anything at all.

 

Kyungsoo looks between Sehun and Jongdae’s retreating figure and decides that he needs to get up. Kyungsoo’s job is done here and Sehun looks like he wants to be left alone as usual. Kyungsoo pushes the chair back quietly and then scoots it back under the table. Kyungsoo turns on his heel but quickly turns back, grabbing the saucer and mug.

 

“Should we make you another?” Kyungsoo offers.

 

Sehun glances at the empty mug and then sighs, “Please.”

 

“Just the normal milk chocolate?” Kyungsoo questions to be safe.

 

Sehun nods. Sometimes, he’ll go with white chocolate to change up his palate but it looks like one of those days where the normal milk chocolate will be better. Kyungsoo takes the mug away quietly, puts it into the sink and tells Baekhyun to steam some milk for Sehun’s hot chocolate.

 

As Baekhyun works on steaming the milk, Kyungsoo looks back down at his notepad and scans the list again. Kyungsoo runs through the list several times because something is missing but he cannot pinpoint what it is. Kyungsoo keeps his brows furrowed as he stares at the list and only when Jongdae walks pass on the way out of the bathroom does he catch Kyungsoo’s confusion and chuckle softly.

 

“I think I forgot to give you the date,” Jongdae says softly so that he doesn’t shock Kyungsoo out of his concentration. “I’d like to pick it up on the 23rd of this month.”

 

“Got it,” Kyungsoo replies, grabbing a pen nearby and scribbling the new information in.

 

“Thanks,” Jongdae says as he walks across to the counter and grabs onto the saucer that Baekhyun has just set the mug of hot chocolate on. Jongdae pulls four 1000 won notes from his pocket and slides it across the counter. “I’ve got it, thanks Baek.”

 

Kyungsoo keys in the date on the café calendar and watches Sehun and Jongdae carefully from the corner of his eye. Jongdae sets the mug down and Sehun looks up in acknowledgement as usual. There’s a little smile that tugs at the corner of Sehun’s lips, but the air hasn’t changed all that much. It’s still a little bit chilly, as if that small corner of the cafe is suffering from early snow. Baekhyun slides over to where Kyungsoo is standing and knocks his shoulders into Kyungsoo’s to get his attention.

 

“What’s up with them?” Baekhyun whispers.

 

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo replies, taking a step back so that Baekhyun falls against the wall. “Did you do something—”

 

“Hey!” Baekhyun whines, as he hits the wall and straightens to rub at his head. “That was mean!”

 

Kyungsoo gasps, “You know what being mean is?”

 

“Yah, Do Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun whines, “Are you insulting me right now?”

 

Kyungsoo laughs and Baekhyun closes in, rolling up his sleeves for show. Baekhyun attempts to intimidate but it stops there. Baekhyun doesn’t have it in him to take it any further, especially if it’s Kyungsoo that is his opponent, so instead of his fists he uses his words.

 

“Someone’s been hanging around Jongdae a lot lately,” Baekhyun smirks.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and he stops back-tracking. Now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, what he had said was something that Jongdae would have said. It takes him by surprise and Kyungsoo just stares at Baekhyun with wide eyes and an open mouth.

 

“Soo…?” Baekhyun gives him a poke on the cheek. “Yah, Do Kyungsoo?”

 

Kyungsoo stills his expression and swats Baekhyun’s hand away gently. Then Kyungsoo diverts Baekhyun’s attention to the orders of coffee that are piling up and makes an escape to the kitchen. Before he slips away, Kyungsoo darts his eyes around the café and stops where Sehun and Jongdae are seated. They’re the same, but Kyungsoo still feels Sehun’s lingering gaze. It wasn’t sharp but it was deep and thoughtful. Kyungsoo wonders if Baekhyun’s joking words were actually what Sehun’s stare was trying to convey.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo has to wonder how Jongdae manages to find him at the worst time. Last time, it was his mother and this time, a customer has just thrown a vanilla milkshake in his face. Baekhyun had walked in for his shift, stifling laughter while Sojin was the only one kind enough to hand him a towel. After wiping himself down, Kyungsoo had thrown it back in Baekhyun’s face as revenge and exited.

 

It had been a terrible day but if he doesn’t get a call from his mother, he won’t think too much about it. Kyungsoo can let it go, once he calms down. All he has to do is think about the upside of the job—happy clients who enjoy the taste of his sweets and the service that the café provides. It’s an easy thought to come up with. All Kyungsoo needs to do is repeat it until he believes it.

 

“Yo, Soo,” Jongdae’s cheery voice pipes up by Kyungsoo’s ear.

 

Kyungsoo jumps, taking a few steps back. When Kyungsoo looks up, Jongdae is smiling at him but that smile quickly fades as the gravity of Kyungsoo’s mood dawns on him. Jongdae is showcasing his considerate persona today and although it is just a game to Jongdae, Kyungsoo appreciates it.

 

“Bad day?” Jongdae questions, frowning.

 

“Don’t ask,” Kyungsoo warns with a sigh. Kyungsoo’s forehead still feels sticky, so he reaches into his pocket for some tissues. “I just want to go home.”

 

“No way,” Jongdae protests, shaking his head. “You’re just gonna brood at home. That’s not what we want.”

 

Kyungsoo dabs his forehead with the tissues in his hand. Jongdae probably has an idea in mind but Kyungsoo has no intentions of entertaining it. “No thanks.”

 

Kyungsoo then thrusts his hands into his pockets and begins walking home, thinking of something to do once he gets there. A shower is a must and then maybe a book. Five streets later, Kyungsoo finds it difficult to ignore the fact that Jongdae is still in his company. Kyungsoo turns around and crosses his arms, looking at Jongdae with distaste.

 

“Are you following me?” Kyungsoo sighs.

 

“’Course not!” Jongdae exclaims cheerily, “This way’s home for me too.”

 

Kyungsoo eyes Jongdae carefully. Kyungsoo has never seen Jongdae take this route. They are not always around each other but they have been to dinner frequently enough for Kyungsoo to be certain that Jongdae doesn’t live in this part of Seoul. Jongdae’s always walked in a different direction when they decide to separate. Kyungsoo is sure that Jongdae is just trying to annoy him further today.

 

“If you’re wondering,” Jongdae interrupts Kyungsoo’s thought. “I tend to take a different route.”

 

“Then take that route,” Kyungsoo reasons.

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes, “That’s no fun.”

 

Now that Kyungsoo is really looking, he notices that Jongdae is carrying another paper cup from _Red Velvet_. Kyungsoo kind of hates him for that but he holds back because Jongdae’s got the cake cover up his sleeve. Kyungsoo is still working on his coffee skills so he’ll prove Jongdae wrong with his actions once the time comes.

 

Kyungsoo clicks his tongue and then turns to continue on his way. He manages to walk down another few streets before Jongdae rushes in front to stop him. Jongdae points to the apartment complex and claims it his home. Kyungsoo stops and follows the line that Jongdae is pointing at. It’s a high rise place that is probably thirty floors high. Although Jongdae is excitedly indicating his place, Kyungsoo cannot pinpoint the location.

 

“Go home then,” Kyungsoo tells him, “Don’t waste any more steps.”

 

“C’mon, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae encourages. “You can shower at our place. A change of environment will be good for you.”

 

Kyungsoo frowns even deeper.

 

“You look like shit,” Jongdae adds and his tone is light and airy, making the words of insult sound like _encouragement_.

 

Kyungsoo shoots him a glare for that one. That was uncalled for. But he should know now that Jongdae’s mouth doesn’t have much of a filter. He’s not as mean as Baekhyun but if Kyungsoo didn’t know better about Jongdae’s motherly nature, he wouldn’t be able to say that. And he proves Kyungsoo right with the next thing that he has to say.

 

Jongdae frowns at Kyungsoo’s judgmental expression, “I’m saying I have a solution.”

 

Jongdae waves him forward and Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he doesn’t turn the other way. Maybe, it’s because aside from Baekhyun, no one has told him that he looked like shit before—at his worst. But if it’s Baekhyun then Kyungsoo’s not going to stomach it. Baekhyun’s mouth is trouble and he cannot allow Baekhyun to think that that kind of behaviour is acceptable all the time.

 

“I’ll make you a hot chocolate?” Jongdae offers.

 

Kyungsoo shouldn’t be surprised but he is. It makes sense when he thinks about Sehun but it still surprises him because they visit the café so often. The little competitive spirit in Kyungsoo flares and Jongdae’s sincere tone mix together, persuading him. Besides, it’d be a good opportunity to have an inside look at an artists’ work place. He’ll have something to brag about to Baekhyun and the thought cheers him up a little.

 

Kyungsoo finally looks up at Jongdae, a little bashful, “And clothes?”

 

Jongdae pulls a wide smile that curls at the corners, just like a kitten’s, “There are some new ones that I just washed.”

 

Kyungsoo looks up at the complex once more and exhales, “Okay, sorry for intruding.”

 

“Pfft,” Jongdae snickers, leading the way. “Not at all, Do Kyungsoo-ssi.”

 

Kyungsoo follows him inside, looking right and left and feeling completely out of place. Jongdae breezes through the halls and into the elevator when it opens. Jongdae pushes the button for level 7 and then leans back against the mirror behind him. Kyungsoo watches as the numbers on the screen jumps from one to two and then three.

 

“Don’t expect too much,” Jongdae warns. “It’s going to be messy.”

 

Kyungsoo nods just when the elevator stops with a loud _ding!_ to signal their level. Jongdae gets off first and Kyungsoo follows. The moment that Kyungsoo steps inside, he wants to backtrack for a fresh gasp of air. The house smells strongly of paint. Kyungsoo had thought that he had become accustomed to the smell on Sehun and Jongdae but their house just reeks of it. Jongdae, who notices Kyungsoo’s wrinkled nose, chuckles and then apologises for it. Kyungsoo shakes his head because it’s not something that can be helped.

 

Then Jongdae turns on the lights and Kyungsoo sees a new side of the home. They both toe off their shoes at the entrance and he looks around, taking in the paper that covers their walls and the mess that covers them.

 

“Sehun’s a bit…” Jongdae trails off into the living room, “Sometimes he just needs to paint randomly, so the wall’s good to do it, but the landlord’s not going to be happy with that so we covered up the walls.”

 

It’s not just the walls, Kyungsoo realises when he follows in Jongdae’s footsteps. Even the floor is covered and when he looks down, he notices black and grey ink splotches here and there. The living room set up is the same, except they have covers over their furniture to ensure that they remain paint free. Jongdae sets his shoulder bag down on the kitchen chair and then turns to Kyungsoo with a smile, pointing back down the hall.

 

“The bath’s this way,” Jongdae says, walking past. Kyungsoo follows. Jongdae points to the room in the corner on the left, “I’ll bring you an extra towel and some clothes. Give me a sec.”

 

Kyungsoo stands there awkwardly and when he takes the chance to look around, Jongdae pops up right by his side, giving him a fright. Jongdae just laughs as Kyungsoo clutches onto his chest.

 

“Here,” Jongdae hands over the clothes and the towel. Jongdae also gives Kyungsoo a bag so that he can put his dirty clothes inside. “Make sure you lock. I’ll have the hot chocolate ready.”

 

Kyungsoo thanks him and then slips into the shower. Once inside, he makes sure to lock, because Jongdae’s tone had been too mischievous. Then he looks around just to be careful and then hops into the shower. Kyungsoo makes it quick because he is already intruding and when he slips into Jongdae’s clothes, they are the perfect fit. Looking at the fit on him, kind of annoys him because Kyungsoo had sworn that Jongdae was just that bit smaller than him. Without any choice left, Kyungsoo just exits. He feels refreshed now and it’s about time to head home anyway.

 

“So quick!” Jongdae pokes his head into the hallway, “I thought you’d have a soak.”

 

“No thanks,” Kyungsoo declines, rolling the wet strands of hair between the towel. “I’ve intruded enough. I better get going.”

 

Jongdae clicks his tongue, “I made hot chocolate, though?”

 

Kyungsoo is about to decline again when the sweet smell cuts through the paint and entices him. Kyungsoo throws Jongdae a look and Jongdae only smiles back, waving for Kyungsoo to follow him. Kyungsoo’s feet carry him forward and before he knows it, he’s back in the bright space of Jongdae and Sehun’s living room. Despite the walls and the furniture being covered up, it looks like a normal space. There are frames decorating the shelves and Kyungsoo is drawn to that first.

 

It’s the first time that he’s discovering Jongdae and Sehun on his own. This view looks more accurate than anything that he has heard. Jongdae’s laughter echoes and comes closer. When Jongdae closes in, Kyungsoo inches away, but Jongdae just places the mug on the shelf where Kyungsoo is standing and then backs away. Kyungsoo picks the mug and moves along the shelf. He hugs the mug between his hands, happy that the cup is hot enough to warm his stiff fingers.

 

“Is it that interesting?” Jongdae questions, as he crosses his legs on the dining table chair.

 

“I thought you only had Sehun,” Kyungsoo comments, poking the frame with his index finger.

 

Inside the frame, Jongdae seems to have a family. Jongdae is smiling along with Sehun and three others in that photo. Kyungsoo looks at it with interest. The lady in the photo, who is standing next to Jongdae, has a large amount of affection for him. Sehun is on the far left of the photo and he is separated from Jongdae by two other men, but somehow, the two of them are drawn to each other. Despite the company of others, Jongdae’s vision is locked on Sehun, who Jongdae can only see from the corner of his eyes.

 

“Well,” Jongdae cuts in. “They’re all friends but Sehun is…”

 

“Family?” Kyungsoo supplies absently as he moves through the photos.

 

Whatever Jongdae’s reply is, Kyungsoo doesn’t hear it. Kyungsoo’s concentration runs deep when he moves onto childhood photos. Jongdae looks young, but the signature Cheshire cat smile is still the same. Kyungsoo recognises him so easily; it puts a smile on his face. Then of course, next to him, is no other than Sehun. Kyungsoo cannot really tell that it is Sehun, but judging from Jongdae’s character, he wouldn’t be framing anyone other than Sehun if it’s a photo of two.

 

“Did you two grow up together?” Kyungsoo asks, even though he knows. Kyungsoo pokes at the picture, curious at the way Sehun and Jongdae sit in close proximity. Jongdae is like sunshine, smile bright and Sehun’s eyes are distant but he holds Jongdae’s hands tightly in his own, like there’s something that he fears. “How old were you in this photo?”

 

Jongdae strains his head and then smiles, “I think I was about six? Sehun was four.”

 

“That’s a long time,” Kyungsoo comments.

 

Kyungsoo continues to observe the photos that are on display. In the next one, there are more of a young Jongdae and Sehun. Then, he finally notices the sign in the background that makes him gasp quietly. Now that Kyungsoo has noticed it, the word _orphanage_ is evident in every photo from their childhood. Some of the characters may be missing but there’s no doubt that the photos were taken in front of the same building.

 

“The hot chocolate will get cold,” Jongdae comments.

 

Kyungsoo jerks and turns to him, taken aback. Jongdae gives him a knowing smile and Kyungsoo backs away from the shelves. Kyungsoo swallows hard and takes a sip of the hot chocolate to hide his embarrassment. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how long he had been silent for and Jongdae doesn’t have any intention of mentioning it, but Kyungsoo can feel the awkwardness seeping in.

 

“This is good!” Kyungsoo breathes out in surprise.

 

“Do you have to be that surprised?” Jongdae laughs in response.

 

Kyungsoo finds it slightly irritating that Jongdae isn’t upset in the least. Throughout of all of their encounters, Jongdae has been like a saint, except when he has set out to prank someone. Kyungsoo hums, taking another sip of the fluffy liquid and allows the warmth to curl around his tongue. The initial surprise disappears when he remembers that Jongdae lives together with Sehun. The thought jumps to another and Kyungsoo wonders how many pink products exist in their home because of Jongdae’s indulgence.

 

“What are you looking for?” Jongdae asks.

 

Kyungsoo takes a step back and sits on the far corner of Jongdae’s L-shaped couch. Kyungsoo clears his throat and shakes his head to say nothing but he takes another glance at the photos displayed in front of him. Kyungsoo thinks that he’s gotten away with it but Jongdae takes him by surprise by plopping down on the space next to time.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, turning to face Jongdae slowly.

 

Kyungsoo has been conscious of their distance since Sehun had mentioned it. Kyungsoo inches away, being careful about the distance that they share. Jongdae on the other hand, speaks excitedly, indicating to the photo album that sits on his knees. Kyungsoo stares at it, wondering where it had come from so suddenly, but Jongdae gives him no room to question as he opens the book up with excitement.

 

“There’s more!” Jongdae exclaims, “Some really cute ones that Sehun won’t let me display around the house! You should totally have a look.”

 

In just a few minutes, Kyungsoo finds himself trapped. Jongdae shifts the album over and it sits between Kyungsoo’s right knee and Jongdae’s left. As they flip through the pages, Jongdae tells Kyungsoo all sorts of stories. Each one revolves around Sehun and it is kind of cute to hear it, but as it goes on, Kyungsoo realises, that no one else really matters to Jongdae. True to his words though, there are some very cute moments that have been captured. Jongdae highlights all of that in his excited narration and Kyungsoo notes that his excitement all revolves around Sehun.

 

The high school stories start to move from Sehun onto a few others that slowly become friends. Kyungsoo learns new names to the faces that he’s previously seen on the photos in the frames. There’s Yixing and Luhan, whom Jongdae is extremely fond of and then there’s Liyin, whom Jongdae considers a sister-like figure. Jongdae makes it so explicitly clear, Kyungsoo has to swallow the hurt that he feels for her—even though he has a feeling that the issue is already over and done with. Jongdae continues to flip through the pages, pointing at different photos and explaining the context for the ones that he feels the need to.

 

“Oh! There are some videos too,” Jongdae announces, jumping off the couch.

 

Jongdae lunges towards the television stand and begins to rummage through very old video tapes. Just seeing them makes Kyungsoo feel old but then Jongdae pushes the video into the video tape player and Kyungsoo cringes. Kyungsoo cannot believe that Jongdae and Sehun still have one of those. They don’t look like collectors but next to the video tape player, Jongdae and Sehun also have a very old model of the Compact Disc player. Jongdae returns to the couch, picks up the old Sony control and presses the rewind button. Inside the video tape player, the video tape begins turning and turning, until it reaches the start again.

 

“Haven’t you seen one of these before?” Jongdae asks, laughing at Kyungsoo’s surprised expression.

 

“I have,” Kyungsoo replies, staring as the television buzzes. “I just didn’t think you’d have one.”

 

The video starts with white noise that startles Kyungsoo, keeping him frozen in his place. Jongdae laughs and Kyungsoo glares at him once he has calmed down. Now that kind of noise, he hasn’t heard in a very long time. Television these days don’t make that kind of noise. Soon the tape starts running as it is supposed to and Jongdae curls up on his side of the couch while looking at the screen fondly.

 

Kyungsoo watches the video in awe and fascination. It’s not as though the video shows anything that Kyungsoo hasn’t seen before but Sehun and Jongdae as children are fascinating to watch. The screen is dull, grey and fuzzy. There are a lot of jumps in the content too, but it is watchable. The content jumps from one snippet to another and Kyungsoo cannot tell exactly why there is a recording. At angles, it looks like a security camera and at others, the shot looks purposeful.

 

When he turns to ask him, he finds Jongdae curled up on the side of the couch, fast asleep. Kyungsoo stares at Jongdae for a moment before he turns back towards the television screen. His question is not important enough to wake Jongdae up to ask. Kyungsoo feels awkward, being left alone in Jongdae and Sehun’s home but he doesn’t know what he should do. Kyungsoo cannot just get up and leave—he doesn’t have the keys to secure Jongdae’s safety.

 

So Kyungsoo stays seated and continues watching for as long as the video tape turns. Near the end of the video, there are images that Kyungsoo doesn’t expect to see. Inside the screen, Sehun points to Jongdae’s hair and says _black_ and then Jongdae’s eyes, to which he says is _brown_. Then there are Jongdae’s lips which are _pink_ and Jongdae’s skin which Sehun describes as _cream_. Following that pattern, Sehun begins teaching Jongdae about all the colours that exist in their world. Once Sehun has finished, Jongdae smiles brightly as he repeats Sehun’s process, using Sehun as his model.

 

Fascinated, Kyungsoo reaches out for the video tape player controller to rewind that little segment. Once the scene is at the start again, Kyungsoo presses play and watches it again. Half-way through, the door to Jongdae’s home rattles and Kyungsoo immediately jumps to his feet. Kyungsoo grabs both the television and video tape player controller and turns them both off, feeling guilty as if he has intruded on something private.

 

“I’m home,” Sehun’s voice carries from the door just as Kyungsoo straightens. “Jongdae hyung?”

 

“Uh, he’s asleep,” Kyungsoo replies softly, so that Sehun can hear him but also so that he doesn’t wake Jongdae up.

 

Kyungsoo shuffles quickly out of the living room to greet Sehun and also to say his goodbye. Now that Sehun is home, Kyungsoo can finally leave. Kyungsoo rushes to the bathroom to get his clothes and at the same time, quickly explains to Sehun how he had come to be here so that they do not have any misunderstandings. Kyungsoo finishes with gratitude, thanking Sehun for having him even though Jongdae was the one that had made accommodations for him.

 

“Breathe,” Sehun replies, like he’s teasing Kyungsoo. Sehun pokes his head into the living room to check on Jongdae before he returns his attention to Kyungsoo. “Thanks for looking after Jongdae hyung, too.”

 

Kyungsoo nods twice and then tries for a smile that fades when he notices that Sehun is staring at his clothes. Feeling conscious, Kyungsoo takes a few steps back and tugs at the shirt that he’s wearing. Now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, he doesn’t know the origins of the clothes. Jongdae hadn’t mentioned it but they might be a _gift_.

 

“I’ll have them washed and returned,” Kyungsoo announces immediately. “You guys will be going to Taeyeon nuna and Baekhyun’s housewarming right? I’ll return them then.”

 

“Yeah, we’re going,” Sehun confirms and then raises a brow. “Are you in a rush?”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo agrees, shuffling over to the shoe stand to slip on his shoes. “I’ve overstayed anyway.”

 

“Did you need me to walk you down?” Sehun asks, reaching out for the jacket that he had hung upon his entrance.

 

Kyungsoo is surprised by the gesture but remembers that Jongdae is still sloppily splayed out on the couch and shakes his head, declining. “I’ll be fine.”

 

Sehun stares at him, almost looking like he wants to ask _are you sure?_ but ends up keeping his mouth zipped tightly together. Kyungsoo flashes a small smile in return because he is starting to understand Sehun’s awkward sentiment. Sehun’s pretty bad at expression. Looking it at objectively, there have always been people around him but Jongdae is the only one that he is close to, the only one he has opened up to. This experience is probably newer to Sehun than it is to Kyungsoo.

 

“Thanks for worrying?”

 

Unintentionally, Kyungsoo’s words had come out like a question but Sehun doesn’t pay it any mind. Instead, Sehun walks Kyungsoo towards the door, says a curt goodnight and then closes it in his face. The action is more like Sehun but Kyungsoo doesn’t take any offence to it because that’s exactly what he is used to. Stretching out his arms to loosen up the stiff muscles, Kyungsoo exhales a deep breath of air and leaves the building the way that he had entered.

 

Once Kyungsoo is outside, he manages to exhale the air of nervousness that he had swallowed earlier. All the tension in his body leaves him at once but Kyungsoo remembers that the video had still been inside and he can still be caught. Quick on his feet, Kyungsoo decides that he will blame Jongdae for everything.

 

Looking back up at the building with an odd sense of contentment, Kyungsoo turns his heel in the opposite direction to home. Smiling to himself, Kyungsoo pockets his hands and sets out for another place, one that is almost like home. It’s further away but Kyungsoo doesn’t mind the refreshing train ride. The moment that Kyungsoo steps off the train, he feels a little cheeky but not guilty enough to turn his steps around. If Yifan had managed to get off work early, he will probably be asleep now but all Kyungsoo has to do is slip inside without waking him up.

 

When Kyungsoo arrives at the door of Yifan’s little apartment, he unlocks the door quietly and lets himself in. Instead of turning on the lights, Kyungsoo uses the camera flash to help him find his way around. Kyungsoo shakes off his shoes at the entrance and pads through the home to find the room where Yifan keeps his spare clothes. Once Kyungsoo finds his own clothes in Yifan’s unfolded pile of fresh laundry, he changes out of Jongdae’s clothes and sets Jongdae’s clothes aside for washing.

 

Wrapped in the warmth of his own clothes, Kyungsoo shuffles out of the spare room and into the master bedroom where he is sure that Yifan has crashed if he is home. Pushing the door open a little, Kyungsoo lets the camera light in so that he can check if Yifan is home. When he spots the lump tucked under the blankets, Kyungsoo turns off his phone screen and tiptoes inside. Bending to his knees as he gets closer, Kyungsoo pats the surface of the bed and rummages around until he finds an opening to crawl in.

 

“Soo?” Yifan mumbles sleepily.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles sheepishly in the dark, “Hey, you.”

 

Yifan extends a hand and Kyungsoo grabs onto it. As soon as the grip is secure, Yifan pulls Kyungsoo closer and presses Kyungsoo’s head into his chest. Yifan nuzzles his chin atop of Kyungsoo’s head and mumbles sweet nothings affectionately to soothe Kyungsoo. Even though Kyungsoo had not said it, his actions were enough to show it. Yifan always knows and is always accepting without question unless Kyungsoo is willing to share. And Kyungsoo always does, if only in the morning, when it’s faded away and he’s calm enough to rationalise it. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Yifan’s waist and tightens his grip, pulling Yifan even closer.

 

“Are you okay?” Yifan asks peppering kisses against Kyungsoo’s forehead.

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head, “I just missed you.”

 

“Mhm,” Yifan hums and feathers more kisses against Kyungsoo’s cheek. “I missed you too.”

 

“Let’s sleep,” Kyungsoo whispers. “I’m sorry for waking you even though you’d been asleep.”

 

“That’s why I said, you should just move in,” Yifan chuckles sleepily, “I promise not to attack you.”

 

“No,” Kyungsoo smiles and presses a light kiss to Yifan’s collarbone. “You need to let that go.”

 

“I know,” Yifan whines softly, rubbing Kyungsoo’s back soothingly. “I love you, too.”

 

Kyungsoo gives Yifan’s chest a light punch, “Dork.”

 

 

 

 

 

As Kyungsoo had predicted, there is no way to escape Baekhyun and Taeyeon’s housewarming party. Yifan doesn’t mind going anyway. He had actually worked harder just to get the day off so that he could hang with everyone and finally meet Jongdae and Sehun. Yifan has heard a lot about them. Jongdae, at the very least, seems like a fun person to be around. Kyungsoo has been a lot happier, talking about Jongdae too. It seems like Kyungsoo has met a good friend—well, all their friends are great, but Kyungsoo definitely has a soft spot for Jongdae—and Yifan wants to meet him. Sehun comes with the package and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

 

“They’re like attached kittens,” Kyungsoo says fondly.

 

Yifan flashes a gummy smile. It’s nice to see Kyungsoo being fond without even realising it. The evidence of Kyungsoo’s affection lies in the clothes that Kyungsoo had borrowed from Jongdae. Kyungsoo had washed it and then ironed it so that he may return it to them today. They are folded now, but that’s only because Yifan had managed to convince him that it will be more convenient to put them into a bag rather than carry the clothes around on the hangers.

 

When they get to the door, Yifan stops Kyungsoo. It’s abrupt and Kyungsoo almost drops the box of cake. Kyungsoo turns to Yifan and frowns to show his disapproval. Yifan just chuckles, ignoring Kyungsoo’s complaint and reaches out to fix his collar. Yifan tucks his fingers underneath the collar, folds it over Kyungsoo’s sweater and smooths out the lines with his palms. Kyungsoo raises a brow, _you damn perfectionist_.

 

“Better.”

 

Kyungsoo smiles but as soon as Yifan takes a step forward to go in, he rebels. Kyungsoo hoists the box of cake in one hand and uses his free one to flick at his collar again to return it to the original position. _That bloody fashionista_ , Kyungsoo thinks as he follows. Yifan is always complaining about Kyungsoo’s sense of fashion. Kyungsoo has grilled him for it before but it hasn’t stopped Yifan in the least. When Yifan notices the collar for the second time he just shakes his head with a small chuckle and knocks gently on the door. Kyungsoo and Yifan banter quietly as they wait. The shuffling inside gets louder as the owner advances but it’s not loud enough to drown out the noise inside. Shortly after, there’s a click on the door and it opens widely with Baekhyun smirking at them.

                                                        

“You’re late!” Baekhyun pouts.

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes—controlling himself from throwing the box at Baekhyun’s face because that’s inappropriate, “Jongin’s not even here yet.”

 

Jongin, master at managing to fall asleep anywhere, had done just that at the dance studio. Kyungsoo isn’t even surprised but the situation is good for them. It makes Baekhyun’s argument invalid and Kyungsoo is happy to have a bit of victory on his hands. It’s been a while since he’s managed to win over Baekhyun. With Jongdae in the picture, Kyungsoo has been watching from the side lines rather than participating.

 

“You can put that into the fridge,” Baekhyun orders, eyeing the box with a huge grin before pointing down the hall. “That way, kiddo.”

 

“I’ll do it,” Yifan offers.

 

“Nah,” Kyungsoo rejects, waving Yifan towards the direction of the living room. “You go say hi to everyone just in case something comes up and you need to be up and running. Oh, give me the bag.”

 

Yifan holds onto the bag tightly because Kyungsoo is already holding the box of cake, but Kyungsoo coaxes Yifan into handing it over. Once Kyungsoo has what he wants, he gives Yifan’s back a light push towards the direction that everyone’s chatter comes from. Yifan turns back with a frown and Kyungsoo shakes his head with a matching expression.

 

“I’ll be there soon,” Kyungsoo assures. “Go on.”

 

Even as Kyungsoo navigates his way to the kitchen, he can tell that most of their friends are present. Kyungsoo hears their voices meshing together in conversation but instead of paying attention to the details, he heads off to the kitchen first. Once he finds the kitchen, Kyungsoo sets the bag of clothes down by the door and goes to refrigerate the cake. On his way back to the living room, Kyungsoo grabs the bag with the intention of finding Jongdae first, so that he can get the bag off of his hands.

 

However, the moment that he spots Jongdae, Kyungsoo feels like something is off. The image is different from what he normally sees. Usually, Jongdae and Sehun exchange silent looks and words with “telepathy” as he has come to coin it, but not today. Jongdae keeps a relative distance from Sehun and he will ask casual questions about choices of drink or maybe a snack but he’s not crossing the line. Kyungsoo isn’t used to seeing it and slips to the side where Junmyeon is nursing a cup of punch and tugs at his sleeve.

 

“What’s with the mood in here?”

 

Junmyeon darts his eyes over the crowd. “What?”

 

“Just…” Kyungsoo tilts his head and waves back to Soojung who has spotted him. “Weird. Are Jongdae and Sehun okay?”

 

“Haha… um, I’m not sure?” Junmyeon rubs his throat and shifts from one foot to another. “They came separately today. Maybe Sehun’s just uncomfortable?”

 

There are more people around then usual so the theory is sound. Taeyeon’s friends are also present. There are a few lingering in the living room and a few others, Kyungsoo had spotted down the hallway. But, no matter how Kyungsoo looks at it, Sehun and Jongdae aren’t talking. There are no easy smiles between them. Jongdae smiles the same but it looks strained and all Sehun does in reply is nod silently. The pleasant air that usually exists around them is tight.

 

“I’m just going to go around and say hi,” Kyungsoo informs Junmyeon with a frown.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t really want to yet, but the guests are waving from all directions and it will be rude to ignore them. Junmyeon bursts out laughing but places a hand on Kyungsoo’s head, ruffles his hair and then wishes him good luck. Kyungsoo asks if Junmyeon will mind the bag for the time being and then thanks Junmyeon when he agrees.

 

Kyungsoo takes a side step to the left to start his greeting adventure. There are people that he doesn’t see very often so Kyungsoo makes it brief. For those that he knows but hasn’t seen in a long time, Kyungsoo indulges with some of the new events of his life. Kyungsoo also gives them some time in return, to tell him a story or two before he hurries on. When he spots Baekhyun, Kyungsoo smirks and skips Baekhyun, moving onto someone else, just to annoy him.

 

Kyungsoo’s longest stop is Soojung. She smiles brightly and gives him a short update on her life since he last saw her. Soojung makes the conversation quick so that Kyungsoo can get around to everyone. However, when Kyungsoo turns around with a forgotten question on his tongue, he scoffs because Soojung has taken the chance to go and talk to Sehun. Only after a whole round around the living room does Kyungsoo return to Baekhyun’s side. To make his presence known, Kyungsoo elbows Baekhyun’s hip lightly.

 

“Kyungsoo!”

 

“Congrats,” Kyungsoo replies. “And good job on the decorating.”

 

It doesn’t look like they have unpacked everything but they have cleaned up well enough to have guests. Kyungsoo is sure that most of items unpacked are Baekhyun’s. If possible, Taeyeon will use this opportunity to earn compliments on the home as it is so that she can keep all of Baekhyun’s eccentric items boxed.

 

Baekhyun throws an arm over Kyungsoo, “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

 

Kyungsoo laughs but doesn’t challenge Baekhyun yet. “Where’s Taeyeon nuna?”

 

“Down the hall with the girls,” Baekhyun points at the door and folds his fingers to the left. “But more importantly. What kind of cake did you bake?”

 

“It’s a surprise,” Kyungsoo teases.

 

Before Baekhyun can pout and try to get the answer out of him, Kyungsoo waves and shuffles away. Baekhyun calls for him and Kyungsoo turns around and puts his hand up, demanding for Baekhyun to stop. Baekhyun raises a confused brow and Kyungsoo flattens his stare, pointing to the corner of the room where Yifan is fiddling with his fingers and shifting his weight from one foot to another repeatedly. Baekhyun only concedes to defeat after he gets a good laugh in. Kyungsoo strides across the room and slips into the space right next to Yifan.

 

“Thanks,” Yifan whispers as he snakes an arm around Kyungsoo’s waist.

 

Kyungsoo bows his head to hide his smile, “Why are you still so awkward?”

 

“Hush, you,” Yifan mumbles back.

 

Kyungsoo puts on a fresh smile as he lifts his head. “Can I borrow him for a bit? There’s someone he needs to meet.”

 

Kyungsoo just smiles and tugs Yifan away without waiting for a response. Kyungsoo begins to look around for Jongdae and Sehun. Seeing as they haven’t met yet, this is the best chance to do it. Maybe, he can help with the atmosphere too. There’s no need for them to be sour during someone else’s housewarming party. Kyungsoo looks around for Jongdae but he is nowhere to be found. Sighing in defeat, Kyungsoo directs Yifan to Sehun to make a start. When they’re finally hovering over him Sehun looks up, sighs a little and then gets off his ass.

 

“Our newest regular and artist,” Kyungsoo says, directing to Sehun. “Oh Sehun.”

 

“Wu Yifan,” Yifan introduces, smiling. “Where’s your other half?”

 

“Other half?” Sehun raises a brow, indicating a confusion that Kyungsoo finds odd.

 

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo clarifies.

 

“Ah, Jongdae hyung…” Sehun trails off to nothing and extends a hand instead. “Nice to meet you, Yifan… hyung?”

 

Kyungsoo is slightly taken aback. Kyungsoo has rarely heard the word _hyung_ from Sehun. Yifan seems to be too, but only for a brief moment before he reaches out his hand and curls his fingers against Sehun’s skin. They shake once and then pull away with ease. Yifan is still smiling and Sehun looks around for his _other_ _half_ before shrugging. Kyungsoo watches with a deep apprehension, for something to sink into their expressions but it’s like the world is halted like that.

 

There’s an awkward moment before Kyungsoo cuts in, “We’ll go find him then.”

 

“Okay,” Sehun nods, dimly before sitting down again.

 

Yifan follows in suit and Kyungsoo nudges him a little, “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah,” Yifan replies with an easy smile. “Nothing happened.”

 

Of course it wouldn’t. Kyungsoo hasn’t stopped suspecting it but a large part of him has dropped the idea altogether. Sehun and Jongdae are the most comfortable around each other. They look best together and at their worst when apart for long periods of time. Right now, Kyungsoo and Yifan find Jongdae in a state of mess—god knows how much he’s had to drink. Currently, Jongdae is holding a single bottle of mixed spirit in his hands but the amount that he’s actually had is probably much more than that.

 

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Kyungsoo mumbles to Yifan.

 

Yifan pulls a forced smile. “He might just be… enjoying himself?”

 

Kyungsoo puffs up his cheeks and exhales loudly. It doesn’t look like it but Kyungsoo holds a tinge of hope that that’s the case. Kyungsoo has been around Jongdae long enough now to know that Jongdae’s misery is often masked by a display of excessive and flamboyant happy behaviour. Jongdae is trying harder than he normally is. Kyungsoo bring Yifan over anyway, because Kyungsoo is a responsible adult and his nature to take care of others kicks in.

 

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says, reaching out for the bottle and taking it out of Jongdae’s wobbly hand carefully. “I think you should stop drinking…”

 

“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae beams, picking up another bottle lying around instead. “You’re finally here!”

 

Kyungsoo groans, throwing Yifan a helpless look. Yifan pulls a tight smile across his lips and moves all the bottles nearby before he takes the one in Jongdae’s hand away. Jongdae looks up at Yifan and shrinks away, probably intimidated by Yifan’s stern expression. Jongdae cowers away again, in the face of Yifan’s height and suddenly, Kyungsoo feels like Jongdae will be easier to manage.

 

“Woah, you’re tall bro,” Jongdae slurs. It sounds like he has engaged in some pre-drinking but Kyungsoo cannot be sure. Jongdae may have gone overboard today. “Mind handing that back?”

 

“No…” Yifan chuckles awkwardly, pushing Kyungsoo to the side and mouthing, _make some tea?_ “Are you driving later?”

 

Kyungsoo shuffles to the side of the kitchen with a nod. He turns on the kettle where he finds it and begins rummaging through Baekhyun and Taeyeon’s cupboards for a mug and some tea. Kyungsoo turns back and gives Yifan a grateful look, thanking him for taking care of Jongdae. Yifan returns the look with a pleading one but Kyungsoo cannot find the tea any faster. Besides, it seems like they have having an entertaining conversation, with Jongdae tipping on his toes to try and meet Yifan’s height. It seems like Jongdae has a complex about his height after all.

 

Kyungsoo goes through all the cupboards but everything inside is still a mess. He leaves Yifan to fend for himself and attempts to find Taeyeon who’s most likely to be sober. As Baekhyun had directed, Kyungsoo hears her voice from one of the rooms and follows the sound to find her. At the door, Kyungsoo knocks lightly and waits patiently for someone to come to the door.

 

“Yes?” Taeyeon asks, popping her head out. “Oh, Kyungsoo, you’re here.”

 

“Nuna,” Kyungsoo smiles. “Congratulations! But um… could you tell me where the tea is?”

 

“Tea? Is someone already drunk?” Taeyeon offers a big smile and takes a step out of the room. She closes the door behind her and leads Kyungsoo back to the kitchen. “I’ll get it for you.”

 

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, following her. She opens up the pantry and goes through one of the boxes that they haven’t opened yet and shows him their range. Kyungsoo chooses green tea because it’s an option he knows will be healthy and effective enough to help Jongdae become sober. “I’ve got it from here so you can go back, nuna.”

 

Taeyeon shoots him an authoritative look that he knocks down with a wide gummy smile. Kyungsoo shoos her away and takes the tea with him. He rests the bag in the mug that he found earlier and waits for the kettle to settle down. Yifan is still entertaining Jongdae. It looks like they’re getting along well, but Yifan’s prone to smiling even in awkward situations and Jongdae is always friendly so Kyungsoo cannot be sure. Now that Jongdae is drunk; Kyungsoo’s not sure what to make of his behaviour.

 

“—boyfriend?” Jongdae barks loudly, catching Kyungsoo’s attention. “How do you drink his coffee?”

 

Kyungsoo clicks his tongue but finishes pouring the hot water into the mug. Once he has filled the mug up, Kyungsoo sets the kettle back down and returns to save Yifan. Upon seeing Kyungsoo, Jongdae just smiles, as if he hadn’t said a single thing. Kyungsoo kicks Jongdae in the shin anyway. The pain is nullified by the soft cushioning of the slippers but it makes Jongdae jump and cackle like a kid. Jongdae might actually be sober if he’s got it in him to bring up Kyungsoo’s coffee.

 

“It’s an acquired taste,” Yifan teases.

 

Kyungsoo whips his head around and throws Yifan a glare but only earns laughter from the both of them. Maybe, Kyungsoo concludes begrudgingly, Yifan hadn’t been suffering as much as it looked like he was. Kyungsoo manages to get them off the topic of coffee but before Kyungsoo can feed Jongdae the tea, Yifan’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

 

“It’s Prosecutor Park,” Yifan frowns with a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo nods, assuring Yifan that he will be fine. “Come get me if you need help.”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo replies. “I know.”

 

Yifan sharpens his gaze and only leaves when Kyungsoo promises. Jongdae continues laughing as he teases the both of them. Using his finger, Kyungsoo prompts Jongdae towards the kitchen table. Kyungsoo adds on a stern expression with his arms crossed and Jongdae follows rather obediently. Kyungsoo hums his approval as he reaches for the tea and hands it over to Jongdae. As soon as Kyungsoo pulls his hands away and slips into the seat opposite of Jongdae, Jongdae curls his fingers around the mug and looks up at Kyungsoo, with a childlike smile on his face.

 

“Thanks!”

 

“It’s hot,” Kyungsoo warns, “But drink that and sober up a little.”

 

Jongdae’s smile widens even further and the corners of his lips curling too. Jongdae leans forward, closer to the cup and blows over it to cool down the liquid. At least he’s listening obediently. Kyungsoo takes the chance of quiet to glance across the crowd, to see if he can find Sehun and assure him that Jongdae is fine, but Sehun seems to have disappeared too. When Kyungsoo turns back, Jongdae is dipping his tongue into the boiled tea and then pulling away with a yelp. Jongdae even pouts but Kyungsoo just snorts.

 

“I told you it was hot,” Kyungsoo chides.

 

Jongdae sticks his tongue out and fans it with his hand, “I haven’t even had any food yet!”

 

Kyungsoo cringes. He knows the sensation too well. “Should be alright…”

 

To test Kyungsoo’s words, Jongdae reaches for the drinking snacks and shoves them into his mouth. Jongdae chews and chews, expression darkening as he continues. Kyungsoo supposes that Jongdae’s taste buds aren’t working at the moment. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Jongdae pushes the bowl of snack aside and curls his finger around the cup of tea again. Jongdae mumbles something about tea lacking taste, but sips at it anyway. Kyungsoo laughs with amusement but leaves Jongdae be.

 

It’s not long before Yifan comes back in to check on them. Kyungsoo smiles at Yifan and waves a little but catches sight of Junmyeon running around frantically behind Yifan. Seeing Junmyeon filtering around the crowds to look after everyone, Kyungsoo throws his boyfriend a look, asking him for his help. Yifan nods back, gesturing with his hands for Kyungsoo to call out if he needs any help with Jongdae. Before Kyungsoo needs the help though, Baekhyun steps into the kitchen and directs them all to the living room.

 

“Come on,” Baekhyun gestures for them to come forward, “We have announcements to make!”

 

Jongdae whines and puts his head onto the table and then covers it up with his arms. Baekhyun raises a brow and Kyungsoo shrugs because he still doesn’t know what’s wrong with Jongdae today. Baekhyun shrugs back and grabs Jongdae’s arm to peel him off of the table. Kyungsoo stares with wide eyes as Baekhyun pulls Jongdae away. Once they’re gone, Kyungsoo stares at the empty space that they had occupied and when he snaps out of it, grabs the mug and places it in the sink before he joins them in the living room.

 

When Kyungsoo gets to the door of the living room, he opts to stand by the door. The room is a little cramped for all the guests that they have so Kyungsoo stays away, but in a place where Baekhyun can see him so that Baekhyun doesn’t make a fuss about Kyungsoo’s missing presence. Baekhyun spins in the room and once he has checked that everyone is present, he stands up in the centre and puts his hands on his hips.

 

“IF YOU AREN’T DRUNK TONIGHT DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING HOME!” Baekhyun announces loudly and then spins around to briefly to make sure that everyone has gotten the message. “GOT IT?”

 

The crowd cheers loudly in response. Kyungsoo claps for show but takes a step back. Kyungsoo has no intention of getting that intoxicated but it looks like some people need it today. After Baekhyun gets off the table, everyone falls into the normal party routine. Baekhyun blasts the music and spreads the alcohol. Kyungsoo takes a peek and does a double take because all he can see is ice and very little alcohol. It looks like they have more drinking snacks left than drinks.

 

“It looks like we’ll need some more,” Junmyeon announces as he sneaks into the space next to Kyungsoo. “I’m going to slip out to buy some. Are you guys going to be alright looking after them?”

 

“I’ll come and help you carry it,” Yifan pipes up suddenly, making Kyungsoo jump. Yifan offers kindly but Kyungsoo knows that Yifan’s real intention is to get away from the chaos. “They’re scared of you, Soo, so we’ll count on you.”

 

They’re both on their feet and out the door before Kyungsoo can suggest tagging along because surely, there’s someone else in the crowd who can take on the role of the guardian for a few minutes. Kyungsoo could use the air but they don’t need three people to go get more alcohol. Yifan will be moderate so Kyungsoo doesn’t have to worry about the potential of alcohol poisoning but still, Kyungsoo had wanted a way out of babysitting his friends for the next twenty minutes or so.

 

Kyungsoo tells himself that Sehun is a friend and uses it as an excuse to look for some help but he cannot spot the boy anywhere. Then, Baekhyun comes, looking drunk now that Kyungsoo has a proper look. Baekhyun is holding an empty bottle of wine with a devilish grin on his face. Kyungsoo smells trouble along with it. Baekhyun even gives Kyungsoo a wink as he curls his finger around Jongdae’s arm to pull him along.

 

“Since they’re all being boring and just talking, let’s play,” Baekhyun suggests.

 

The empty bottle is tucked under Baekhyun’s armpit and Baekhyun has his left grip on Kyungsoo and his right grip on Jongdae. In a free corner in the living room, Baekhyun pushes Jongdae and Kyungsoo down on the floor. Baekhyun stares at them for a moment before he decides that something is missing and reaches over for a cold bottle of beer. Baekhyun uncaps it and shoves into Kyungsoo’s hand. Kyungsoo looks at the bottle in his hand with distaste but drinks from it just to make Baekhyun happy.

 

Satisfied, Baekhyun pats Kyungsoo’s head and then rushes off. Jongdae and Kyungsoo look at each other, confused until Baekhyun comes back with others to play the game that Baekhyun has in mind. Next to Kyungsoo Baekhyun pushes Sojin down and directs Soojung to sit by Jongdae. Kyungsoo acknowledges everyone in the circle and takes a large gulp of the beverage because now the bottle is in his hand and there’s nothing else he can do with it.

 

Baekhyun looks around the group for a moment and then sighs, resigned. “Wait.”

 

He disappears from the group and then comes back with two more members to join. On his left is a bored looking Sehun and on his right a brightly smiling Jia. Kyungsoo has met Jia once or twice. He’s not very close to her. Yifan is closer to Jia because of their shared language and culture. Kyungsoo greets her again anyway and shifts an inch to the right. Jongdae follows in suit and shifts a little more to make space in the circle.

 

“Spin the Bottle,” Baekhyun grins mischievously, placing the empty wine bottle in the middle of the circle. “I haven’t played since college!”

 

“Truth or Dare,” the group suggests, going for the safer option.

 

“Geez, if you’re going to protest,” Baekhyun pouts, “The least you can do is suggest the King Game.”

 

Now that’s a game that Kyungsoo hasn’t played a lot of. The risk is also relatively low but then again, everyone is a bit on the tipsy side so there’s no real assurance. Kyungsoo turns to Jongdae with brows raised and Jongdae in turn nudges Soojung who passes the knowing look around the circle. Conceding to defeat, they agree and Baekhyun hops up happily to go and find some spare cup noodle chopsticks.

 

When Baekhyun returns, the wooden chopsticks are all broken and labelled. Baekhyun curls his fingers around the bottom of the chopsticks and holds his hands out for the players to take their pick. Kyungsoo plucks the one right in the middle and settles back down on his seat as he waits for everyone to make their choice. As soon as everyone is settled, Kyungsoo folds into himself to check what is written on his chopstick. Kyungsoo bites down on his tongue when he discovers a messy ‘6’ scribbled on it but looks up with a straight face.

 

“Who’s the King?” Baekhyun demands.

 

“I am,” Sehun answers flatly.

 

Sehun’s eyes look bored but that’s his usual look so no one can tell if he’s up to anything mischievous. Kyungsoo takes a moment to observe his surroundings and he finds Jongdae swallowing nervously. It doesn’t look like Sehun’s a good King. Then Sehun is looking around, staring at each and every one of them until he’s decided what to do.

 

“Okay, number four and one,” Sehun announces slowly, causing tension. He looks around once more to gauge everyone’s reactions and then smirks, causing everyone to squirm. “Change seats.”

 

Baekhyun plops over whining, “What the hell! That’s boring, Oh Sehun!”

 

Sehun shrugs with a little smirk twisted on his face.

 

“He’s just getting started,” Jongdae mutters by Kyungsoo’s side.

 

Baekhyun gets to his feet at the same time as Soojung and they swap. Everyone returns the chopsticks to Sehun and watches as he shuffles them behind his back. Sehun brings them back to the centre with the writing concealed and holds his hand midair for everyone to take their pick. It’s a total game of chance so Kyungsoo waits until everyone is done to take the remaining one.

 

Drinks continue to disappear as they continue the game. Kyungsoo is already on his third bottle because Baekhyun had won the chance at being King. Kyungsoo makes sure to drink slowly so that he stays sober enough to pay attention to his surroundings. Kyungsoo looks around himself to check in on everyone’s state but there isn’t a single chance for him to escape. Everyone is conversing well and Taeyeon is being the perfect host. It’s round five when Kyungsoo tunes in again and Jongdae is King.

 

After studying his subjects, Jongdae clears his throat and grins. “Until the end of the next round, number two and three shall hold hands.”

 

Kyungsoo is almost certain that his chopstick is labelled with number three, but double checks because it might have been a number that he was holding onto previously. Unfortunately when he looks, the number ‘3’ stares back at him and he looks around himself to find the person he’ll have to hold hands with. Sojin perks up and gives him a little wave when she realises that he is searching.

 

Everyone moves around to accommodate the task. The chopsticks are returned to Jongdae as Kyungsoo folds his hand around Sojin’s fingers. They give each other a soft smile and pick the chopsticks for the next round so that it will be over with quickly. As they take their pick, Baekhyun’s energy level rises. The amount of empty alcohol bottles beside Baekhyun are telling of Baekhyun’s behaviour. Grinning from ear to ear, Baekhyun begins chanting for the next King to raise the stakes of the game.

 

Jia props her left leg up so that she is resting on one knee, “Are you sure, Byun Baekhyun?”

 

“Aye! We all know each other,” Baekhyun dismisses Jia’s concern, “Not a thing to worry about Jia my dear.” Baekhyun shoots Kyungsoo a dirty look and clicks his tongue. “We can’t back down from that… hand holding thing they’re doing.”

 

“Okay,” Jia smirks, not backing down from the challenge. Jia stares at Baekhyun, as if she is trying to figure out the number that he holds but her eyes don’t linger for long. Jia darts her eyes all around and then finally settles, eyes locked on Sojin. “Then, number five kiss number one.”

 

There’s silence for a short moment before Baekhyun rushes everyone to check their numbers again. When Sojin checks her number again, Kyungsoo sees that it says number ‘4’ and he shows Sojin his chopstick which has number ‘2’ on it and gives her a little assuring smile. When Kyungsoo looks up, Sehun is approaching Soojung with a frown indented on his face. Soojung shuffles back on her knees, face reddening with each second that passes. At the corner of his eyes, Kyungsoo finds Jia frowning, as if she regrets her choice of numbers.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun says, leaning forward and placing a quick and clean peck on Soojung’s cheek. “Please take that as a greeting.”

 

Kyungsoo’s attention is drawn away from the whole scene. Instead of seeing Jongdae’s reaction, Kyungsoo hears Baekhyun’s cackle. However, Kyungsoo is unable to reach over to give Baekhyun a little push, for making fun of their youngest. Kyungsoo’s attention is drawn elsewhere, eyes darting instinctively down to where his hand sits. Sojin is squeezing his hand tightly and Kyungsoo squeezes back, hoping to catch her attention but Sojin’s gaze is distant. Clearing his throat, Kyungsoo removes his hand from hers and nudges her instead.

 

“Are you okay, nuna?”

 

“Huh…?” Sojin blinks at him, looking blank. “What?”

 

Kyungsoo repeats slowly, “Are you okay? You don’t look good, nuna…”

 

“Oh,” Sojin cards her fingers through her hair and then unfolds her crossed legs, “I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink. I’m going for some air.”

 

“What—” Baekhyun attempts to protest but she’s gone. “Okay, we’ll just take the last chopstick out.”

 

Taeyeon, seeing the chance to get in the middle of the game, puts her hand up and steps over to where Baekhyun is. Taeyeon pulls Baekhyun aside and they hold a quick conversation before she returns him. All eyes are on Taeyeon, but she just smiles politely.

 

“One more game and we’ll cut the cake,” Taeyeon announces so that Baekhyun doesn’t go back on his words. “Jongin is joining us soon, so only one more!”

 

Kyungsoo sees this as a chance and his eyes light up but as she passes by him, Taeyeon puts a hand on his shoulder and keeps him seated. Taeyeon assures Kyungsoo that she will be fine and tells him to enjoy the last one. After she leaves, everyone closes the circle again and the distribution begins for the last game. Baekhyun clutches onto his chopstick and chants repeatedly for the title of King, muttering that he needs to teach Sehun how to kiss.

 

“Ha!” Baekhyun cheers, waving the chopstick with _King_ scrawled on it. Baekhyun is quick to announce the task, so that there are no interruptions. “Can we have a proper example of a kiss… number four and two?”

 

Baekhyun bursts out giggling and Jongdae follows. The two of them are very drunk. And Kyungsoo is very upset at their drunken behaviour but more upset because he holds the chopsticks with the number ‘2’ on it. Jongdae won’t stop giggling and Baekhyun follows along, as if Jongdae’s laughter is contagious.

 

“So…” Baekhyun hiccups between his laughter, “Who… who is it?”

 

“Number five,” Sehun announces, showing his chopstick.

 

Soojung holds up number one and Jia holds number three. When Kyungsoo realises who is left, his heart drops in his chest but Jongdae is still laughing. Jongdae’s laughter has gotten to the point where it hurts because Jongdae is now clutching onto his stomach and apologising. In between his laughter, Jongdae asks for a moment to calm down.

 

“Ah, it’s Kyungsoo and Jongdae!” Baekhyun grins, giving Jongdae a little push to where Kyungsoo is sitting. “Show our little one how it’s done!”

 

Kyungsoo stares up at Jongdae and shakes his head furiously. The two of them been careful and have kept a good distance for months. To say it more accurately, Jongdae has been Jongdae and Kyungsoo has been careful enough for the both of them. There hasn’t been a need for them to get any closer than… _nine centimetres,_ Kyungsoo’s brain provides traitorously. Kyungsoo instinctively whips his head around to find Sehun, but the boy’s expression is still blank.

 

“It’s not going to hurt!” Baekhyun encourages. “It’s just Jongdae.”

 

Baekhyun thinks they’re close and he isn’t wrong. Kyungsoo has come to consider Jongdae a close friend. Baekhyun also thinks that they have checked to see if they share a Miracle but the fact is that they haven’t. There hasn’t been a need to, because Jongdae’s behaviour has always assured Kyungsoo. Even now, Kyungsoo knows that it is Jongdae and Sehun but there’s an uncomfortable nagging feeling in his chest. It’s a fear that Kyungsoo feels whenever he meets new people and he hates it that he always feels it.

 

“No,” Kyungsoo protests, backing away.

 

“Hush,” Jongdae waves his hands dismissively and then places it on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, where Kyungsoo’s thick sweater separates their contact. “It’ll be alright, Soo.”

 

 _Nine centimetres_ , his brain reiterates when he sees Sehun shift from the corner of his eye. Now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, the distance between Jongdae and Kyungsoo has always been a considerable one. There had been plenty of space between in their customer service relationship. They had not and still do not intrude each other’s bubble of space and that is fine. Kyungsoo wouldn’t have noticed how close they had gotten if Sehun hadn’t mentioned it.

 

Kyungsoo has always liked his space. Those who know that are often on his list of favoured. But then Jongdae came along and closed it to nine. After Sehun had mentioned it, Kyungsoo realised that the distance was a comfortable one for Jongdae. Kyungsoo didn’t mind it much. It had become a habit before Kyungsoo knew it and it was always for their walking distance. It allows them to be close enough to hear each other talk but also far enough to keep their shoulders from brushing.

 

Right now, Jongdae is closing the remaining gap. Jongdae doesn’t seem the least fazed. Instead, he turns and leers at Baekhyun. Baekhyun throws his chest out victoriously because as the King, Baekhyun has nothing to lose. Jongdae is too close now for Kyungsoo to observe any other reaction but his own. Kyungsoo continues to shrink into himself, fingers curling tightly around the bottle in his hand. Violence is not the solution, Kyungsoo reminds himself so that he doesn’t smash Jongdae’s head with the bottle.

 

“Hey,” Jongdae whispers and throws in a playful wink, “It’s going to be okay?”

 

Jongdae sounds like he’s concerned, like always. Like maybe he thinks Kyungsoo hasn’t ever kissed anyone. Yeah right, Kyungsoo wants to snort but he finds himself frozen. Kyungsoo hates the smug look on Baekhyun’s face but the hand resting on his shoulder is too strong and distracting. When Kyungsoo looks up back up there is no one there to help him. Everyone is tipsy, Kyungsoo included and his motor skills are failing him.

 

Jongdae closes in without hesitation. It’s nine and then it’s zero. Despite telling himself that he will not resort to violence, Kyungsoo feels himself raising a hand that stops midair because of pain that registers on his forehead. Jongdae smashes his face against Kyungsoo’s and it’s a hard hit. Kyungsoo freezes up completely with his eyes shut and refrains from yelling out because it really hurts. But everything changes when Jongdae slips and loses his grip. Jongdae’s lips brush slightly against Kyungsoo’s by accident and then Jongdae slides off onto the side, grip loosening on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

 

Jongdae pulls away, fingers lifting off Kyungsoo’s shoulder one by one. Kyungsoo inhales and exhales first to restore his air. The traitorous heart in his chest is thumping against his will and maybe the alcohol is getting to his head. Yeah, that’s definitely it. There’s nothing else to explain the crazy heartbeat and the dizzy spell he’s feeling. Kyungsoo should just stay away from alcohol. All he has to do is refrain from drinking for the rest of his life. That will solve his problems.

 

“Who pushed me!” Jongdae accuses loudly.

 

Kyungsoo keeps his eyes shut during the argument because he doesn’t want to snap yet. Kyungsoo only needs a few more minutes to regain his composure. His head is still throbbing but he will manage it eventually. Kyungsoo inhales deeply and rubs circles on his forehead to numb the pain. Kyungsoo decides that when he gets his hands on Jongdae, he is going to make Jongdae suffer.

 

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae says, getting to Kyungsoo first. Kyungsoo can feel Jongdae hovering over him. “Are you—”

 

Jongdae stops talking suddenly, so Kyungsoo opens his eyes, ready to reply but instead of words, his mouth drops open and his eyes blow up wide. _Wow_ , is Kyungsoo’s first thought because has Jongdae always been this pretty? Kyungsoo blinks again, just to make sure that he’s looking at the right person because the colour— _the colours_. Kyungsoo immediately squeezes his eyes shut in protest—hell, he never thought that he will be rejecting it like this—and opens them again in hopes of willing away the mirage but it _stays_. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen further as his heart sinks. Kyungsoo backs away slowly. His body is still attempting to run in his state of chaos.

 

Jongdae blanches visibly, stumbling backwards. Everyone falls into silent concern and there’s a moment where everything feels cold. Kyungsoo looks around himself and everyone looks foreign and he cannot quite make out their expressions and the meaning behind it. They couldn’t possibly be thinking _that_ could they? Kyungsoo bites down on his lips and wills his body to respond but he is too dizzy to move coherently.

 

Kyungsoo looks to Jongdae for help but Jongdae refuses to look at Kyungsoo. On his own, Jongdae attempts to regain as much composure as he can and backs up. Jongdae is still pale as he holds a hand over his mouth. Sehun is the first to move with a face filled with disgust. Kyungsoo looks on in horror, aware that the situation doesn’t feel good but the front door clicks and Kyungsoo instinctively turns in the direction of the noise. Kyungsoo has something that he wants to say but his voice is stuck and all he can hear is the noise around him, Yifan’s conversation with Junmyeon and Jongin and then Jongdae.

 

“Crap,” Jongdae curses.

 

Kyungsoo jerks his head back, cursing his body for paying attention to the nearest sounds. In Kyungsoo’s eyes the colour of Jongdae’s lips and skin seem to mesh together. Is that what Sehun had called pink and cream? Then what is the colour that is inside of Jongdae’s mouth? It doesn’t look like pink or cream.

 

In the background, there’s loud fussing that brings Kyungsoo back to reality. Jongin stumbles into the living room cheerily to announce that he’s got the booze even though Yifan and Junmyeon had been the one to get it.

 

In front of Kyungsoo, Jongdae continues to wobble about in an odd trance but he is surely advancing towards Kyungsoo, “Gon’ spew.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes blow wide and he shuffles backwards on his hands. Just as Taeyeon comes in, yelling out _cake!_ to gather everyone’s attention, time seems to slow down for Kyungsoo. Everyone’s attention is scattered and Kyungsoo is left with Jongdae who is still attempting to cover his mouth. Jongdae does exactly as claimed and the damage cannot be rectified. As if Jongdae and Kyungsoo are the background image, Jongdae silently pours the contents of his stomach all over Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo’s favourite sweater. If Kyungsoo weren’t so mortified, he would have killed him on the spot.

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, Kyungsoo changes out of his clothes and leaves everything in his room. In the laundry room are his dirty clothes and Jongdae’s clothes that he had borrowed again because they were the most convenient. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to look at Jongdae’s clothes because it reminds him of Jongdae so he escapes his home once he completes his morning routine.

 

The world outside is different from his home. After getting home last night, Kyungsoo had entered and moved about in the dark. The world in black and white is something that Kyungsoo is used to. The world of colour is rather blinding. Everything at Baekhyun’s house had looked like a huge mess of what Kyungsoo can only describe as colours. Kyungsoo’s dizzy spell hadn’t gone away last night so he couldn’t register anything properly.

 

But now that he is outside, everything is suddenly bright. It’s takes a while but everything makes sense once Kyungsoo takes it in and allows it to register. Kyungsoo still has trouble naming all the colours, but some match better than others. Kyungsoo wants to see more black and white as they are easy to recognise but there’s very few of it in this new world.

 

 _It’s more than difficult_ , Kyungsoo wants to tell his late father but that will have to wait until he visits. Instead of trying to learn the colours like this, Kyungsoo pulls up his hood and turns the corner to enter the café from the back entrance. Kyungsoo ends up at work a whole thirty minutes early and attempts to distract himself by getting into gear to bake. Kyungsoo is in for solitude but doesn’t expect to be greeted by the boss who’s already in and is checking the state of the café. It’s been a long time since Bora showed up at _Grace_ to check out how everything is going. Bora has a branch opened somewhere else, closer to home now that she’s married so she rarely shows up and this early.

 

“Nuna,” Kyungsoo squeaks, when he turns the corner and finds Bora’s head stuck in the fridge. “What are you doing here?”

 

Bora pulls away from the fridge and smiles. She grabs the clipboard off of her knee and smiles as she gets up to stand, “Just checking the state of the store. It’s a bit early but do you really have to be that surprised?”

 

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo apologises with a small smile. “Ah, right. I was going to talk to Sojin nuna about this but since you’re here, we can talk instead.”

 

Bora narrows her eyes immediately and her tone becomes sharp, “You quitting, brat?”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head and chuckles inwardly. Bora had offered him the job because he had asked for it years ago. It’s only right that she gets angry if he plans to quit but Kyungsoo has no such intentions. He enjoys his work place and not even his mother had managed to get him to quit.

 

“I just wanted to ask for leave,” Kyungsoo replies softly. “Just a few days.”

 

Bora studies him carefully. She looks up and down Kyungsoo’s frame and takes in every part of him. It always feels like an interrogation when Bora looks at him. With years of experience behind her, Bora is definitely looking for something. Kyungsoo just cannot figure out what. Once she’s satisfied though, Bora relaxes and gives Kyungsoo a smile.

 

“Feeling burnt out, huh?” Bora sympathises.

 

Kyungsoo just nods and agrees to Bora’s conditions of resting well, even before she brings it up. Bora is kind enough not to ask questions thanks to his perfect attendance record. Bora walks around the store to where the schedule pinned on the board and studies it carefully. Eventually, she nods her head and turns to Kyungsoo with an approving smile.

 

“Got it,” Bora informs him. “Take the week off. I can fill your shifts.”

 

Bora simply looked at him and given him the okay without commenting on how crappy he must have looked. Even if Kyungsoo didn’t look it, he sure felt it.

 

“Nuna…” Kyungsoo squeaks in reply, slightly taken aback. “Isn’t it a bit far for you to travel?”

 

“Nah,” Bora shakes her head as she walks with Kyungsoo across the café. “A friend I haven’t seen for a while is down here for the week. I’ll be staying with her.”

 

“And your husband?” Kyungsoo frowns.

 

“Just get outta here,” Bora sighs. She presses a hand to Kyungsoo’s lower back and pushes him out the door. “If you need more time after the week just let Sojin know.”

 

Kyungsoo clutches onto his coat and staggers home, feeling just about the same. It would have been okay to work today too, but Bora had insisted. Bora is not the greatest when it comes to advice or support, but she will give Kyungsoo the time and space to go and find it. That’s what he likes about her, though it doesn’t work well for Kyungsoo in this case. He doesn’t want to be at home. It’s not distracting enough and he cannot go to Yifan’s. The thought only heightens his guilt because something feels wrong.

 

When Kyungsoo arrives at home he returns to his room and changes into more comfortable wear. He tells himself not to go into the laundry room but seeing the mess irritates him so much that he grabs everything off the floor and goes to clean up. When Kyungsoo gets into the laundry room, he shoves everything into the machine and starts it.

 

Kyungsoo finds himself standing there for the hour as he waits for the washing to be done. Kyungsoo doesn’t do much but stare blankly at the white machine. It’s the colour that he’s most familiar with and it comforts him. It feels like after a blink the washing is done but Kyungsoo knows that it’s been longer because the soles of his feet are numb. The washing machine plays a little tune to indicate the job is done and Kyungsoo opens up the lid to transfer the clothes into his blue basket.

 

Soon the basket is filled with a mixture of colours that are all tangled together because Kyungsoo did not bother separating the clothes. Irritated, Kyungsoo slaps the lid of the basket down and carries the basket out into the balcony. Ignoring all the colours that are now invading his sight, Kyungsoo quickly separates the clothes and hangs them on the line so that he can go back inside.

 

It doesn’t really help. When Kyungsoo is back inside, all he is faced with are the four walls of his home. It becomes increasingly suffocating because there are colours and they remain hard on his eyes. The books his father had given him are the things that stand out the most. The thick, hardcover books with solid backdrops now form colours. They’re labelled accordingly on their spine, font in dark sans serif that spells out the names of each colour. Kyungsoo glances at all of them and walks around his house to distract himself but always ends up at the same place in the middle of his living room.

 

Hours pass and then the knowledge is like second nature. Kyungsoo has been staring at them for so long, the knowledge he thought would be unobtainable is now carved into his memory. Now Kyungsoo even knows the small details, like the fact that red is rich, yellow is bright and cream is pale. Every single colour in Kyungsoo’s room has a name to it and he’s even beginning to figure out which he likes and which he doesn’t. Kyungsoo is also starting to see the clashes in colours based on his choices from when his world was black and white.

 

When Kyungsoo cannot take it anymore, he gets off his couch and begins to pull items from their spot, ready to move them. Once he’s done that though, Kyungsoo picks it up again and returns it to its original spot. Even if the colours had clashes, the shape and form is perfect in its original place. And with certain items, Kyungsoo realises that he doesn’t know what to do with it. Kyungsoo groans in exhaustion, because when everything was still black and white in Kyungsoo’s eyes, he didn’t have to deal with any of this.

 

Dropping his head, Kyungsoo turns away from his living room and staggers into his bedroom, where he still hasn’t opened the curtains yet and climbs into bed. He pulls the blanket over his head and squeezes his eyes shut. It’s better in the dark, where everything resembles the world that Kyungsoo is most used to. And he doesn’t know when it is, but eventually, Kyungsoo manages to fall asleep.

 

When Kyungsoo wakes up, it’s because his phone is ringing constantly. Throwing his blanket aside, Kyungsoo rolls out of bed and pads back into the living room. He finds his phone on the coffee table but it has stopped ringing. Squinting to see the screen, Kyungsoo spots the message notification that sits above the missed calls. He unlocks his phone and drags the screen down, where LINE shows a preview message.

 

**Kim Jongdae, _8:14PM._**

_(_ _シ_ __ _)_ _シ_   _srry ‘bout ur sweater kyungsoo!_

_can i replace it 4 u?_

 

Kyungsoo stares blankly at his phone for two whole minutes as more apologies and apologetic stickers come. Jongdae continues to spam Kyungsoo’s phone with short messages accompanied by more emoticons. None of the messages seem to carry any sincerity.

 

**Kim Jongdae, _8:14PM._**

_kyungsoo-ya…!! o;(_ _)o;_

**Kim Jongdae, _8:15PM_.**

_i said i was sorry… soo?_

_m(_ _)m_

**Kim Jongdae, _8:15PM._**

_look i hav this 4 u_

_.________________._

_a whale_

_its cute rite? *o*_

**Kim Jongdae, _8:15PM._**

_ya, ill replace it!! promise!!_

**Kim Jongdae, _8:16PM._**

_do kyungsoo-ssi???_

**Kim Jongdae, _8:16PM_.**

_fine \ ( - - ) /_

**Kim Jongdae, _8:17PM._**

_kyungsoo…??_

_.________________._

 

Jongdae disappears off LINE after that and there isn’t a new message for the next six minutes that he stares. Kyungsoo turns off the screen of his phone and tosses it aside, annoyed. Jongdae is not ignoring Kyungsoo, but Jongdae doesn’t seem willing to discuss the most important part of that night either. Jongdae is more concerned about Kyungsoo’s sweater. There isn’t a single word about how Jongdae has just turned his world upside down and that annoys Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo is so upset he can feel his stomach churning. But without a solution, Kyungsoo curls into himself on his couch and just stays there, staring at the blank television screen. Inside the screen, there’s a reflection of his surroundings and Kyungsoo closes his eyes. He cannot escape the colours. Kyungsoo scoffs, because just a few weeks ago, he had told Yifan that he was curious. _Yifan_ , Kyungsoo’s brain supplies and Kyungsoo groans as he turns into the back of the couch and hugs his knees close to his chest.

 

Kyungsoo only gets another few minutes of peace before his phone starts ringing again. He debates not picking up, but curiosity wins over and Kyungsoo grabs the phone and stares at the caller ID. Finding that it’s his mother calling, Kyungsoo takes a deep breath to clear his anger and picks up the phone.

 

“Omma,” Kyungsoo greets brightly.

 

 _“Kyungsoo!”_ She exclaims just as cheerily, _“Have you been okay? Work… is okay too?”_

 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo answers obediently. “I’ve been well. Are you okay, omma? Have you cut back on Go Stop?”

 

She clears her throat immediately, _“I was planning to send some kimchi up to Seoul for you.”_

 

Kyungsoo chuckles and allows his mother to change the topic, “You don’t have to omma, I can make them.”

 

 _“This is one of the things that I can still do for you,”_ she argues.

 

Kyungsoo concedes and smiles in silence.

 

 _“Are you eating regularly?”_ She interrogates. _“Breakfast, lunch and dinner?”_

 

_Dinner?_

 

The question goes on repeat in Jongdae’s playful tone and then Kyungsoo cannot stop the thought. Jongdae’s cheery voice rings in his ear, on repeat, like an alarm that refuses to stop going off. Dinner with Jongdae had been enjoyable. Jongdae and Kyungsoo’s opposite tastes worked out perfectly. At dinner, Jongdae would always swap out the side dish he hated with the side dish that Kyungsoo disliked. It always worked out because Kyungsoo enjoyed the dish that Jongdae didn’t and vice versa. It had become a habit, as with most of the other things that they did together.

 

At home, however, Kyungsoo’s mother and Yifan try hard to get Kyungsoo used to those kinds of side dishes. The contrast puts Kyungsoo into comfort with the thought of Jongdae, but the thought of the current Jongdae irritates Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo curls further into himself and holds back a groan. The less space that he takes up, the better, Kyungsoo decides as he continues to shift until his whole body is stiff.

 

_“Kyungsoo?”_

 

Kyungsoo makes a non-committal sound, knowing that his mother will take it as a yes. Kyungsoo had been eating well up until yesterday but other than drinking snacks, he hasn’t had much and today, he didn’t have much of an appetite. Kyungsoo doesn’t have it in him to tell her the truth but at the same time, he doesn’t want to lie to her either. If she makes an assumption on an answer that Kyungsoo had mumbled, then technically it’s a mistake and not a lie on Kyungsoo’s part.

 

“Aren’t you watching your dramas tonight, omma?” Kyungsoo adds on quickly, to distract her.

 

 _“In a bit,”_ she replies amongst the clattering in the background.

 

Kyungsoo hums for a long time before the thought hits him, “Omma. I’m going to come and visit, okay?”

 

_“Right now?”_

 

“Isn’t that okay?” Kyungsoo asks, even though he has already unfolded his body so that he can move. “I miss you.”

 

 _“Are you catching the late train?”_ She questions, a deep frown is evident because Kyungsoo recognises the way that her tone of voice drops. _“That’s dangerous.”_

 

“I’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo assures. “I’m going to pack. I’ll see you in a few hours okay, omma?”

 

To avoid further protest from his mother, Kyungsoo tells her that he loves her and then ends the call. Jumping to his feet, Kyungsoo walks around the couch, one hand automatically texting to inform Yifan that he will be going home for a few days and the other grabbing his jacket. Kyungsoo knows that the trip will be good for him. Kyungsoo will have to catch the bus to Seoul Station, then catch a train down to Illsan and ride another bus before he can get home, but he can use it to his advantage. It will make the trip worth it because his mother’s home-cooked meal has always been soothing.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a quiet trip and a quiet return. Being by his mother’s side had been soothing as Kyungsoo had expected it but the time that Kyungsoo has remaining is limited. There were only two days left from his leave and Kyungsoo needs to settle back into the old routine as soon as possible. The only person he had let know he is coming back is Yifan, because Yifan is the only one who knew he had left in the first place. Even though Yifan knows of Kyungsoo’s return, it still surprises Kyungsoo to find Yifan a step ahead of him. In front of him, Yifan is carrying a bag of groceries and humming by the door of Kyungsoo’s home.

 

“Hyung?” Kyungsoo calls out.

 

Yifan turns around immediately, to answer to Kyungsoo. Although Yifan’s smile is tucked under his summer scarf, Kyungsoo can still see it clearly. Instead of being able to smile back, Kyungsoo coughs loudly as the chill creeps up his spine. Kyungsoo had been a little careless at home because his mother was doting on him and had caught himself a cold.

 

“You look horrible,” Yifan puts the grocery bags down and takes off his cardigan and drapes it over Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “A cold?”

 

 _You look like shit_ , Kyungsoo’s brain supplies, reminding him of Jongdae’s words which are a mix of harsh and casual. Yifan is caring and kind. He is scolding Kyungsoo right now but has a little smile to follow up, indicating that his intentions are all kind. Just looking at Yifan’s worried expression, causes Kyungsoo to feel sick with guilt.

 

“Why didn’t you go inside?” Kyungsoo sniffles, feeling yucky inside and out. Even if it is the end of summer, the weather is still hot and humid. It makes Kyungsoo feel worse than he already is. “It’s hot out here.”

 

“I just got here,” Yifan replies, still fishing for the spare key.

 

Once he’s got it, Yifan unlocks the door and ushers Kyungsoo inside first. Yifan follows shortly after and rushes to turn on the heater so that Kyungsoo can keep warm without the heavy layers. Although the weather is hot, Kyungsoo’s place is usually cold and will only warm up with the heater on. On his way back, Yifan drops the plastic bags in the kitchen and returns to the living room where Kyungsoo is shedding off his thick jacket.

 

“Wait a bit,” Yifan chides. “The heater’s not on yet.”

 

Kyungsoo huffs but drops his hands to the side because the weight of the clothes is dragging him down. Yifan smiles at his obedience and reaches out to check Kyungsoo’s temperature, grimacing when Kyungsoo’s fever registers on his palm. Yifan pushes Kyungsoo onto the couch and sets a thin blanket on Kyungsoo’s knee. Yifan makes sure that he is comfortable before he pulls away, giving Kyungsoo the personal space that he needs when he’s feeling unwell.

 

“You should have called me. I would have come to pick you up.” Yifan frowns as he roams back into the kitchen. “Have you eaten?”

 

Kyungsoo stares at the television with a blank expression and nods in a few shift motions. He did have breakfast with his mother but other than that Kyungsoo doesn’t think he has eaten any more. Yifan shakes his head but makes himself comfortable in the kitchen while telling Kyungsoo to rest. Soon, the clattering of Yifan’s cooking fills the house and Kyungsoo settles into the comfort of the familiarity. Yifan knows exactly where everything is, so Kyungsoo is able to remain on the couch undisturbed.

 

“I’m making some congee,” Yifan tells Kyungsoo once he’s left the stove to simmer. Yifan comes back into the living room and places a mug of freshly brewed tea down for Kyungsoo. Then he picks up Kyungsoo’s phone and connects it into the charger. “I guess you couldn’t call me after all. The battery’s dead.”

 

Kyungsoo finds a smile tugging at his lips. The congee will be Yifan’s mother’s recipe. It will be simple, to Kyungsoo’s taste and perfect for illness. Yifan is considerate, different from Jongdae—but why is Kyungsoo thinking about that asshole again? Jongdae is more concerned about the sweater when they have more important things that they should be discussing. The sweater is Kyungsoo’s problem and although Jongdae had created it, Kyungsoo has no intention of letting him use that as an excuse to wiggle out of the bigger issue. Kyungsoo shakes his head roughly to rid himself of the thought but it only makes his headache worse.

 

“Kyungsoo?” Yifan’s voice carries over as a hand caresses Kyungsoo cheeks. Kyungsoo opens his eyes and stares at Yifan. Yifan is different from usual. There are colours in his cheeks, a peachy colour that look soft and warm. Yifan’s smile too, seems to have a soothing colour. Yifan’s lips are a pastel pink that fades out in the centre of his lips. For the first time, Kyungsoo realises that he has come to understand the concept of _shades_ to colours. “What’s wrong, Kyungsoo?”

 

“Oh…” Kyungsoo blinks and realises that his fingers are resting gently against Yifan’s lips, “Just…”

 

“You’re really out of it,” Yifan smiles, thumb rubbing soft circles against Kyungsoo’s cheek.

 

Kyungsoo tilts into the touch, “Sorry.”

 

Yifan flashes him a smile and then promptly squishes him in a hug. It’s a warm one that Kyungsoo actually likes. But now, he’s associating it colours—warm colours, like orange and red. Jongdae’s lips had been slightly _red_ back then because of the impact. God, now Kyungsoo putting old information to new and he just can’t stop. But Kyungsoo needs to stop. At this rate he’s going to make a mistake and then he’s going to regret it. Kyungsoo bites down on his lip to direct his thoughts to his pain and then returns Yifan’s hug. He holds on tightly and buries his head into Yifan’s comforting shoulder.

 

“We might have to ask Sojin nuna for another day or two,” Yifan says and pats Kyungsoo’s back gently. “How’s that sound?”

 

Kyungsoo nods as he is rocked in Yifan’s embrace. He wants to stay like this for a while longer so that sounds like a really good plan. “Yeah.”

 

“And we’ll go on a date when you’re better,” Yifan promises.

 

Kyungsoo manages to chuckle. “Are you sure you won’t bail on me?”

 

“Promise,” Yifan assures, kissing Kyungsoo’s head softly.

 

 

 

 

 

For the next two days, Yifan takes care of Kyungsoo and makes his recovery quicker. Kyungsoo manages to settle back into his usual comfort. The anxiety is expelled in Yifan’s presence and Kyungsoo finds himself relaxed. Everything is easy and Kyungsoo falls back into work like nothing had happened. Baekhyun asks no questions. The only thing he does is complain about how Kyungsoo should have taken a longer break—workaholic—had been his exact words.

 

“Shush,” Kyungsoo hisses, narrowing his eyes. “I can’t dump my responsibilities onto Sojin nuna.”

 

“Responsibilities?” Baekhyun scoffs. “You can leave them to me!”

 

Kyungsoo arches a brow, daring Baekhyun to continue. There’s no way in hell Sojin will agree and they won’t even need Bora here to be sure that she will say no. In the kitchen, Baekhyun is a walking disaster. Despite the fondness that Bora holds for him, she had strictly denied every one of Baekhyun’s requests to bake in _Grace’s_ kitchen. Anyone who knows how long it took to build the reputation for _Grace_ will agree.

 

“It’s not going to happen, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo replies, shuddering at the memory. “Don’t you remember? Last time you charred the cake and the tin. The stench was…”

 

“That…” Baekhyun flushes red and Kyungsoo can now associate that colour with embarrassment. Baekhyun clears his throat, feet already moving away, “That was ages ago! You guys need to stop bringing that up!”

 

“If you stop,” Kyungsoo retorts.

 

“Hmph!” Baekhyun pouts, turning away childishly.

 

Baekhyun sticks his head into the cupboard beneath the espresso machine and rummages around until he finds what he wants. When Baekhyun turns back, he shoves a yellow tea towel and spray bottle of sky blue detergent into Kyungsoo’s hands. Kyungsoo raises a brow and Baekhyun smiles, using his head to gesture in the direction of the five tables on the left corner of the café.

 

“The orders have piled up,” Baekhyun briefly gestures to the order list.

 

So that he doesn’t have to argue with Baekhyun, Kyungsoo goes quietly. Baekhyun has not started to tease him about Jongdae yet but Kyungsoo knows that it will come. Kyungsoo goes quietly to delay the talk for as long as possible because he doesn’t have a retort. If it were to come up, Kyungsoo might just blame Baekhyun for issuing such a task, but he only has himself to blame for participating in the first place. It’s a no-win situation that Kyungsoo doesn’t want to sink further into.

 

Kyungsoo goes off to the far left corner of the café and clears the tables, taking the stacks of dirty dishes to the kitchen. Coming back out, he grabs the spray bottle and begins wiping them down carefully. Kyungsoo scrubs hard to get all the stains off and then moves onto the next, repeating his steps. The rough scrubbing helps. It makes Kyungsoo feel better when he thinks about Jongdae’s face being on the surface for him to get rid of. It’s a nice feeling, especially when he’s still pissed off about Jongdae’s evident ignorance. Half-way through his fourth table, Kyungsoo gets called over by a customer who asks for some more napkins. Kyungsoo fixes his expression immediately and goes to get some for her.

 

Kyungsoo gets back to work, cursing Jongdae as he cleans the table and feels good about it until he spots the real thing. Flicking his eyes outside because the light hits his eyes, Kyungsoo spots Jongdae and then Sehun on the other side of the street. They approach the crossing so that they can cross the road to enter _Grace_. It’s a path that Kyungsoo has seen them take often so he knows that they won’t be passing. Sehun’s clothes are a real mess now that Kyungsoo can see it the way that it’s meant to be seen.

 

But it is Jongdae that stands out from the crowd and Kyungsoo is drawn in without any will left to his control. Jongdae is at the centre of everything that Kyungsoo can see. Kyungsoo cannot help but notice that Jongdae’s deep marble brown eyes glow in the sunlight. Then there’s his white dress shirt that stands out against his creamy skin. And Jongdae’s smile is the most different of all. It’s a smile that Kyungsoo couldn’t fully appreciate before, but more than that, it’s a smile that Kyungsoo rarely sees. It’s warm, like the sun’s yellow but not scorching like fire orange. This one is just a bit shy and it’s the one that is reserved for Sehun.

 

“Yah, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun nudges. “Are you in there?”

 

Kyungsoo hears him loud and clear but his brain isn’t focused enough to immediately give Baekhyun the attention that he needs. Besides, it’s not like Kyungsoo indulges Baekhyun in a lot so a little ignorance shouldn’t matter. However, Kyungsoo notices Baekhyun sticking a wet receipt to the sleeve of his shirt and feels the need to return the gift.

 

Kyungsoo peels the receipt off and slaps it onto Baekhyun’s cheek. “I saw that.”

 

“And here I thought you were zoning out,” Baekhyun pouts, peeling the receipt off of his skin. He places the mug and saucer onto table ‘4’ and flashes a charming smile at the customer. “Enjoy your long black.”

 

“I’m not you,” Kyungsoo retorts, knocking his feet into Baekhyun’s to get Baekhyun moving back to the espresso machine, “Get to work. Bora nuna isn’t paying you for nothing.”

 

“I’m going on my break,” Baekhyun announces when the wind chime at the café door jingles. “Bora nuna is nice enough to give paid breaks.”

 

Kyungsoo lets Baekhyun go because he does deserve a break, but more than that, Baekhyun can occupy Jongdae and Sehun’s attention today. This is the first time he’s seen the both of them since his he took his leave. Kyungsoo doesn’t need the agitation of being in their presence so he sends Baekhyun off. Baekhyun cheers, pulling his apron off and throwing it at Kyungsoo. Normally, Kyungsoo would retaliate but he tucks the apron into his own and cleans the last table so that he can return to the counter.

 

Kyungsoo gives Baekhyun an acknowledging nod on the way back. The table of three starts a lively chat but Kyungsoo doesn’t join them. He already knows their orders and will get on it. Kyungsoo takes three mugs from rack above the espresso machine, sets two aside and one on the tray to catch the shot of coffee. Then Kyungsoo fills the frothing jug and steams the milk. Once all three are properly prepared, Kyungsoo puts them onto the tray for easy handling.

 

“Baek,” Kyungsoo calls.

 

“Got it,” Baekhyun gets up from his seat and goes to pick up the tray that holds his chai latte, Jongdae’s long black and Sehun’s white chocolate. “Thanks.”

 

The conversation continues as Baekhyun distributes the drinks. Kyungsoo stands back and cleans the steam wand. Baekhyun is excessively loud and happy. There are many things that Baekhyun wants to talk about his new life with Taeyeon but he jumps topics radically. Soon enough, Baekhyun’s talking about how cool Sehun seems to be with Jongdae’s flirtatious behaviour and how Jongdae did not even flinch when Sehun had kissed Soojung at the housewarming party.

 

“Then again,” Baekhyun wonders off, “I’ve never felt like any sexual tension between the two of you!”

 

“Why?” Jongdae asks, titling his head against Sehun’s shoulder. It doesn’t really seem like an appropriate question answer Baekhyun’s query while showing this much affection but Jongdae’s always been one to do as he likes. “Should there be?”

 

“Aren’t you dating?” Baekhyun huffs, like he’s actually disappointed they’re _both_ taken.

 

Jongdae’s lips pull into a thin line. Kyungsoo shuffles to the farther side of the espresso machine, hoping to occupy himself but to no avail. It’s quiet in the café, give for Baekhyun’s question and the answers that he receives in return. There are people looking in and passing by, but no one steps in to order anything. Kyungsoo doesn’t have any other distractions.

 

“We’re not,” Sehun says absently, seemingly without any regard for Jongdae. “I’m not interested in that stuff anyway.”

 

Baekhyun’s mouth drops open, confusion colouring his cheeks. Sehun says after an exhausted exchange of a practiced look that communicates _here we go again_ as Jongdae shrugs. Kyungsoo watches the exchange from the corner of his eyes, curious and confused. Kyungsoo thinks about all of their interactions and realises that Sehun and Jongdae had never confirmed anything. Their level of comfort had always screamed a relationship, so everyone in their circle of friends had assumed.

 

“And you,” Baekhyun questions slowly, “Jongdae?”

 

Jongdae shrugs, “I’m not either.”

 

Baekhyun stares at them and they stare back. Baekhyun stumbles over his next words, an apology for being inconsiderate but firmly assures him that he understands. Never has Kyungsoo seen a conversation involving Baekhyun shut down so quickly. Jongdae and Sehun settle back into their comfort and converse casually over lunch. Baekhyun seems to reset so that he can register the new information. Baekhyun curls his finger around his chai latte mug, takes a sip and then burns his tongue because he stops thinking about the beverage.

 

“Huh?” Baekhyun does a double take and then stares at Jongdae, pointing out oh-so-helpfully a fact that Kyungsoo wants to forget. “But you kissed Kyungsoo.”

 

Sehun shakes his head, “I think you need to do a little more research, hyung.”

 

“To be accurate,” Jongdae interrupts and makes his tone insistent so that he can clarify the situation, “I _head butted_ him… accidentally.”

 

“You…” Baekhyun trails off, trying hard to remember the night of his housewarming party. He scrunches his nose together as his brain goes through the motion of bringing every clear memory back. “Oh… you did, too.”

 

Jongdae snorts after a few seconds of deliberation, “And I thinking throwing up on him was the more important event of the night.”

 

Baekhyun bursts out in giggles at that. “That was a good one!”

 

Baekhyun shouldn’t be saying that. Baekhyun knows exactly how important that sweater had been to Kyungsoo, so he shouldn’t be glorifying Jongdae’s behaviour but he does. The sweater is a favourite because it was a gift. There’s no way Jongdae can replace it and how he had spoken so lightly of it, had only irritated Kyungsoo more. However, Kyungsoo had no way of calling him out of it because if Kyungsoo ignores the other issue, it will be buried immediately.

 

“He’s still ignoring me for that,” Jongdae says, as if that’s the only thing that’s bothering them. He glances over to make show of it and Kyungsoo instinctively turns away which only confirms Jongdae’s lies.

 

Baekhyun breaks into a fit of laughter, throwing himself into Jongdae’s side. Jongdae cracks a smile too and then joins him. This is their normal but Kyungsoo feels extremely irritated just watching. Irritated beyond belief, he brings the cake and drops it onto the table, harder than he’d intended. Baekhyun jerks a little with a startled yelp. Sehun stares with wide eyes and Jongdae throws Kyungsoo a look upon their recovery but all Kyungsoo dares do is glare. If he opens his mouth, he’ll say something inappropriate.

 

“Sorry!” Jongdae squeaks. “Kyungsoo… about the sweater…”

 

Although Kyungsoo knew that that would be the response he still feels a pang in his chest. It’s like Kyungsoo means nothing to him, despite the form of friendship he thought the two of them had made.

 

“You can’t replace it,” Baekhyun clears his throat, “Yifan’s the one who got it.”

 

“Oh,” Jongdae whimpers, looking guilty.

 

Kyungsoo exhales loudly and turns away. Jongdae is going make the sweater to be the bigger issue. Kyungsoo can already see Jongdae calculating his way out of the talk about the world that they have opened up for each other. So Kyungsoo walks away first, because he has no intention of making a fuss about it in front of others. It’s something that he wants to deal with privately first—when Jongdae decides to cooperate.

 

“You haven’t apologised yet?” Baekhyun mutters.

 

“I have!” Jongdae hisses back, “I send a bunch of whales on LINE.”

 

“Like, you meant for it to be a replacement for your wailing face?” Baekhyun exclaims dramatically and Kyungsoo hears him slapping his forehead. “You’re such a dork. How is that going to help?”

 

Laughter bubbles out of Kyungsoo unintentionally because _that’s what it’d meant to be?_ Kyungsoo attempts to suppress, so it sounds choked but Jongdae and Baekhyun catch on. Jongdae and Baekhyun stop whispering behind his back, surprised but Kyungsoo doesn’t let them win. He straightens immediately, clears his throat and continues on his way. Even if they can get to him, Kyungsoo cannot let it show.

 

 

 

 

 

Clearing his mind of all the unnecessary thoughts related to Jongdae—because Jongdae isn’t thinking about him either—Kyungsoo exhales all the tension in his body and steps into the police station. He takes familiar steps around the station and greets Amber, who he finds on duty.

 

“What’s up, Kyungsoo!” Amber greets back brightly, “Looking for Yifan?”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods, taking a look around.

 

“He’s helping Yejin with some papers.” Amber chuckles and twirls one of the chairs around for Kyungsoo, “He’ll be done soon. Take a seat.”

 

Kyungsoo does as told and slides into the swivel chair that Amber had indicated. Truth be told, he finds Amber a little intimidating. Yejin, on the other hand, is alright. She’s always got a bright smile on her face. Amber is bright too, but she has an intimidating look about her when she lowers her gaze. Amber excuses herself and Kyungsoo shrinks in his seat.

 

The station is as energetic as it can be. Kyungsoo listens in and out, bored by the familiar content and then eventually zones out. Kyungsoo jumps when a hand comes in contact with his shoulder and he nearly falls out of the chair. He is lucky that Yifan holds onto the back support and stills it.

 

“Sorry,” Yifan apologises, hanging his head above Kyungsoo’s. “You okay?”

 

Kyungsoo tilts his head upwards and stares. The neon yellow vest with ‘POLICE’ printed on it is irritating to Kyungsoo’s eyes but the pale grey uniform remains similar and neutralises the effect. “Yeah… just a little startled.”

 

“Sorry,” Yifan puts his warm hand on Kyungsoo’s head and ruffles it gently, “I’m just going to go change and we can go. Do you want some tea or coffee in the mean time?”

 

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Go change.”

 

Yifan nods and rushes off to the locker room. Yifan makes the trip quick. When Yifan returns, he’s smiling through the corridor and saying goodbye to his co-workers. Kyungsoo gets up from his seat and walks over to where Yifan is exiting and they make their way out together. At the glass doors of the station, Yejin spots them and waves in big motions.

 

“Have fun on your date!” Yejin cheers, playfully. “Make sure you play safe!”

 

“Worry about yourself,” Yifan laughs, “Don’t you mess around too much in the office.”

 

Yifan pulls Kyungsoo away before Yejin can retaliate. Yifan chuckles and Kyungsoo follows along because he has seen Amber and Yejin mess around in the office before. They usually get into trouble for it. However, it is a sight to see because Amber always manages to get the two of them out of trouble and put the blame on Yifan. Today, Yifan is out so they won’t have anyone to take the fall but as expected, Yifan is taking care of them even when he’s not in sight.

 

It’s a short walk to the car park directly in front of the station but Yifan still rushes Kyungsoo inside so that he can stay cool. Kyungsoo does as told and slides into the passenger seat. Yifan stows his bag on the back seat before sliding behind the wheel. He starts the engine and waits a few minutes before he turns the air conditioner on low.

 

“Minions, right?” Yifan grins, shifting his weight on his left thigh and pulls his wallet out from his right back pocket. Yifan pulls the tickets out of his wallet and waves them around proudly. “I got the tickets in advance.”

 

Kyungsoo offers a wide smile and as he buckles the seat belt. The trailers that he had seen were entertaining and he had looked forward to going to see it. Yifan starts the car after he hands over the tickets and begins the drive down to the cinema. The Myeongdong cinema often sells out on Friday night so Yifan had been wise about buying the tickets early.

 

For the duration of the drive, Yifan keeps Kyungsoo entertained with stories of the different people he had encountered during the day. Kyungsoo turns his eyes to Yifan every now and then to catch the bright expression he has when he speaks, but pays more attention to the road, so that he can stop Yifan from speaking if more attention is needed on the road.

 

But every time that Kyungsoo turns to look, he finds himself awed with Yifan’s dress code. Yifan doesn’t look harsh on the eyes like Baekhyun had. Baekhyun gets up too late and has little time to get ready but more importantly, Baekhyun doesn’t care if the clothes he wears clash because most people can’t see it. Yifan’s clothes however, match very well in terms of colours. After changing out of his grey uniform, Yifan looks like a normal citizen dressed in wash jeans and a complementary blue dress shirt. It’s a set that Yifan wears often. Kyungsoo finds it curious, but cannot ask so he keeps his mouth shut and only comments on the stories that Yifan tells.

 

“Okay, make sure you go to the bathroom so that you don’t have to get up in the middle of the movie,” Yifan instructs as he puts the car into parking mode. “I’ll get the snacks. Popcorn or nachos?”

 

“Nachos please,” Kyungsoo replies, though he has a feeling that Yifan is just asking.

 

Yifan flashes a gummy smile, “Okay, I’ll see you inside.”

 

They both exit the car at the same time but go separate ways. Yifan heads off to by a parking ticket and Kyungsoo goes inside to find the bathroom. When they meet up again, Yifan has both the popcorn and the nachos and a paper cup trapped between his teeth and upper lip. The method of holding the paper cup like that is something that Kyungsoo had taught. He still can’t believe that it stuck. Kyungsoo shakes his head but helps out by grabbing the cup. They hand over their tickets and go inside to find their seats.

 

“Why do you even ask?”

 

“You might change your mind,” Yifan answers. “And besides, just nachos would be boring.”

 

Kyungsoo scoffs but doesn’t protest. Yifan has already paid for them and Kyungsoo will nibble at the popcorn so there’s no point in arguing. Kyungsoo leads Yifan up the steps until they reach the back row. They have to shuffle through a few people to get to their seats—which are in the centre—but the movie hasn’t started yet so no one is making a fuss. There is chatter all around them until the screens dim. Everyone lowers the voices as the advertisements begin playing but it is when the lights go out and the volume rises that the cinema is filled with silence. The Minions movie begins with a narration, just like the one that Kyungsoo had seen in the trailer.

 

The movie goes for approximately an hour and a half and for the first time, Kyungsoo has the pleasure of seeing it all in colour. It’s a good choice because the movie is vibrant and the colours are ones that Kyungsoo has learnt. Still, some colours make sense and others don’t. Kyungsoo understands that animation movies are not strictly confined to the real world but he still finds parts of it weird.

 

“Did you enjoy it?” Yifan asks, as they walk out of the cinema. Yifan has a hand pressed against Kyungsoo’s lower back as he leads them both outside. “Bob was so cute.”

 

“Mhm,” Kyungsoo hums. “I like Stuart though.”

 

Yifan laughs loudly and detaches himself from Kyungsoo. Yifan takes a few steps to the left and dumps the empty boxes and paper cup into the bin. Kyungsoo follows to elbow Yifan for making fun of him but Yifan just drapes his arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulder fondly.

 

“Stuart is cute too,” Yifan replies. “A total musician.”

 

“But…” Kyungsoo covers his eyes with his right hand as they enter the lit room and comments absentmindedly. “Is the ice in animated movies always slightly blue-ish?”

 

Kyungsoo stops in his tracks. He can feel other people staring too. Yifan’s arm slides away and Kyungsoo feels like all the air is squeezed out of him. Kyungsoo’s hand automatically jerks to cover his mouth. A squeaky gasps leaves his throat when Kyungsoo realises his mistake. Slowly, Yifan’s arm drops back down to his side and he turns to Kyungsoo, expression slightly shocked but controlled—as best as he can get it. Yifan’s best is a trembling smile and Kyungsoo feels the guilt eat away at him.

 

“Hyung—”

 

“It was blue?” Yifan asks him, eyes trained seriously on Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo bites down on his lips, considers a lie and then closes his eyes, resigned. “Yes.”

 

Kyungsoo opens his eyes again, expecting Yifan to be angry but nothing of the sort comes close. Yifan just takes a step back, a small sad smile on his face before he takes another step back. It looks like Yifan is giving Kyungsoo space, but he may be creating the distance for himself. Kyungsoo takes an instinctive step forward to close the gap but Yifan only takes one back.

 

“Hyung…”

 

“I won’t ask,” Yifan announces. Kyungsoo can see that. Yifan doesn’t probe where he knows it’s not necessary. “But I don’t think…” Yifan pauses and reconsiders his words. What Yifan wants to say first is probably his feelings, what he’s reconsidering is of course, for Kyungsoo. It’s always for Kyungsoo. “I don’t think you should ignore it.”

 

“Yifan,” Kyungsoo almost pleads, because he doesn’t know what to do but to ignore it. Jongdae is already ignoring him. Even though it will take a while to get over, Kyungsoo can leave it there too. “I—”

 

“Let’s take a break,” Yifan interrupts him. He inhales and exhales heavily. Yifan isn’t saying it but the weight of the last three years is deeply lingering on his mind. Kyungsoo opens his mouth to protest but Yifan continues, not skipping a beat to let Kyungsoo in. “It’s important and I’m glad that you know. But… I’d been wondering why you have been absentminded lately. It makes sense.”

 

“Yifan hyung,” Kyungsoo pleads, “Listen to me.”

 

“Kyungsoo,” Yifan replies firmly with his eyes locked on Kyungsoo’s to show that he’s not hiding. Yifan means what he says. “I don’t want to be the reason you regret it. So think about it carefully.”

 

Kyungsoo feels the guilt start bubbling in his stomach. Ignoring it is his choice but failing to inform Yifan had been a poor choice. Even though Kyungsoo cannot see the pain in Yifan’s expression, Kyungsoo can hear it in Yifan’s voice. Just the lowered tone, quiet and unsure voice is enough to make Kyungsoo’s heart tremble along.

 

“I’ll be here,” Yifan promises with a smile but it’s strained. “When you’re ready to talk about it.”

 

Yifan steps forward once, presses a simple kiss to Kyungsoo’s forehead and says his goodbye. Kyungsoo clenches his fists together but doesn’t dare call out. There is a constriction in his chest and his throat and it acts as a very strong reminder that he doesn’t have the right to stop Yifan. Kyungsoo is the one that held his silence in the first place and the choice had slipped out of his hands. Kyungsoo drops his head only to jerk it back up with he hears his name.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Yifan stops and turns back, his expression calm and polite but tone still pained. “I’ll take you home.”

 

“No,” Kyungsoo declines immediately—he doesn’t have any right to that kindness. “I’ll be fine… you should take care of yourself.”

 

Yifan’s own self care should be the first priority, not Kyungsoo. It’s silly that Yifan is even considering Kyungsoo at a time like this but Yifan is and it only deepens Kyungsoo’s guilt. And Kyungsoo cannot take it. Kyungsoo knows that he’ll only make things worst so he takes a step back and wills himself to stay away. Yifan needs the space. Right now, Kyungsoo just wants something warm to cling to and it cannot be Yifan, if he is confused and unsure.

 

“Kyungsoo…”

 

“Yifan,” Kyungsoo states firmly because right now, he’s certain that he will be able to keep this promise. “I’ll contact you. I promise.”

 

“Okay,” Yifan sighs and it’s one of relief, “Okay. Let’s do that when you’re ready.”

 

 

 

 

 

To keep his promise, Kyungsoo tries everything he can to get a conversation going with Jongdae. It’s not an issue that Kyungsoo wants to talk about when they have other people around but Kyungsoo cannot even get Jongdae alone. They no longer have dinner together because Jongdae refuses to reply. It’s childish, but Kyungsoo will allow that to pass. Jongdae must be confused, if he is confused at all. Kyungsoo still is. He’s always assumed that Jongdae lived in a world of colour. Jongdae manages to live easily by Sehun’s side, always passing him the colours that he needs, be it paint, pencils or oil pastels. There must be a trick to it… or something’s gone wrong.

 

Knowing that Jongdae won’t come to him, Kyungsoo sets out some time and makes a personal trip to the school that Jongdae teaches. It’s the place that was the real beginning of their friendship and for a brief moment, Kyungsoo longs for that time to come back. There’s a sense of comfort in being friends over something that he’s uncertain about. Still, Kyungsoo has to talk about it. In the end, Kyungsoo is not Jongdae. Kyungsoo cannot continue to pretend like nothing had happened.

 

“Kyungsoo-ssi…?”

 

Kyungsoo straightens immediately only to drop his shoulders when he realises it’s one of Jongdae’s students. “Oh… class rep?”

 

“Hyejin,” Hyejin introduces herself with a wide smile, “Ahn Hyejin.”

 

“Ah,” Kyungsoo acknowledges, nodding his head receptively.

 

“Are you looking for saem?” Hyejin points to the left corner room on the third floor. “He’s in the office. It’s just down that way.”

 

“I’ll just wait out here,” Kyungsoo replies because he doesn’t want to make Jongdae feel completely cornered. “I hope you had a good birthday.”

 

“Yes!” Hyejin assures him, “Thank you for making the shortcake!”

 

Kyungsoo nods, glad that she enjoyed it. Hyejin thanks him again before she runs after a friend. Settling back against the school gate, Kyungsoo folds his arms with a sigh. He doesn’t want to enter school grounds but he wonders how long Jongdae will be there. Now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, Jongdae is too spontaneous. Kyungsoo has never been able to pin down Jongdae’s exact schedule. It doesn’t look like Jongdae spends any extra time after school in the school but he might actually do it today.

 

Luckily for Kyungsoo, fifteen minutes after most of the students have left, Jongdae comes staggering out. Kyungsoo had kept his eyes shut and would have missed Jongdae if Jongdae were not stretching his limbs and whining at the same time. Hearing Jongdae, Kyungsoo peels himself off the gate and turns his body to the right so that they meet.

 

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says as a way of greeting— _hi_ in this context will be too friendly.

 

Jongdae sighs. He looks up at Kyungsoo as he adjusts the strap of messenger bag so that it sits smoothly on his shoulder, “Kyungsoo.”

 

“Can I have a moment?” Kyungsoo asks, cordially. He doesn’t remind Jongdae of all the effort that he has made, even though he’s very tempted to. “It’s important.”

 

“Is it about soul mates?”

 

Jongdae makes light of it and Kyungsoo feels a jab, causing him to hesitate.

 

“Look, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae riffles his hair and huffs, “I don’t really care?”

 

Jongdae makes a question, like he hasn’t yet made up his mind and Kyungsoo arches a brow in response. Jongdae is a very weird being. Kyungsoo knows this, but it stunts him every time. Jongdae is a walking contradiction because he _cares_ but at the same time, he doesn’t. Kyungsoo sees Jongdae’s behaviour in practice and is often awed by the distance Jongdae can put between himself and others but now that it applies to the both of them, Kyungsoo cannot understand it.

 

“I thought I made it clear,” Jongdae continues.

 

“You didn’t do anything,” Kyungsoo retorts.

 

Jongdae looks Kyungsoo straight in the eye, “Exactly.”

 

“That doesn’t make anything clear,” Kyungsoo replies, staring back. “At the very least, we should talk about it.”

 

“Then let’s talk right now,” Jongdae suggests lightly, like he doesn’t intend to take this seriously either. “I know I can’t replace the sweater. What do you want from me?”

 

Jongdae sounds exhausted and unwilling. It’s a question Jongdae had proposed but doesn’t want an answer to. Kyungsoo feels guilty because despite his efforts, it looks like he’s pushed Jongdae into a corner anyway. Kyungsoo stares at Jongdae, parting his lips and then closing them again in silence. Kyungsoo had thought about it over and over, but now that he has the chance to say something, he doesn’t know what to say. The thoughts mesh together in Kyungsoo’s head and all he can do is stare because Jongdae is his soul mate.

 

The word associated with Jongdae sounds right but Kyungsoo still has to check. They get along exceptionally well, despite the short time of friendship. As usual, Jongdae stands on par with Kyungsoo and doesn’t back away. Jongdae faces Kyungsoo as he is and doesn’t cower away because Kyungsoo may appear to be intimidating. Instead, Jongdae always has a permanent smile on his face to even out Kyungsoo’s stern exterior.

 

Despite the distance that they have, Jongdae’s presence remains the same. Kyungsoo just stares. It’s the first time since Kyungsoo can see colour that he’s had a proper look at his soul mate. Jongdae smiles with pale lips that are stretched thin across creamy cheeks. Jongdae’s eyes sparkle against the light and instead of brown, it looks like hazelnut. Jongdae’s hair, however, is a burgundy colour instead of the black that Kyungsoo had assumed it to be.

 

Despite the changes that have taken from the description Kyungsoo had obtained from the video, Kyungsoo still sees Sehun when he looks at Jongdae. The colours that Sehun had mentioned are all there. Sehun hadn’t been wrong at all. The only thing that doesn’t match up perfectly is Jongdae’s hair because it has been dyed. Then there are Jongdae’s clothes, which catches Kyungsoo’s attention. The tailored pants are a pair that Kyungsoo has seen Jongdae wear on numerous occasions. It is put together with a checker dress shirt that Kyungsoo can now describe as green. It’s an old look that prompts another train of thought.

 

“Does Sehun pick out your clothes?” Kyungsoo blurts out.

 

“Yeah,” Jongdae confirms and arches a brow. “That’s what you wanted to know?”

 

“No,” Kyungsoo denies immediately. “I want to talk about _us_.”

 

“What about _us_ exactly?” Jongdae challenges. “What do we need to talk about it?”

 

Jongdae’s question throws Kyungsoo off. Kyungsoo had thought that it would be obvious to Jongdae. They cannot go on ignoring it. At the very least, they need to talk about how to deal with the changes. Kyungsoo has too many things to sort out around their relationship and he cannot do it alone. To achieve what Kyungsoo wants, he needs Jongdae. Even if they do not start a relationship, Kyungsoo would like to have some closure.

 

“I really don’t care about soul mates,” Jongdae states clearly and his eyes hold no hesitation. “Or what it means for ‘us’,” Jongdae makes sure to put that into air quotation marks. “I just care about me and what I want.”

 

The first thought that Kyungsoo has is _what an_ _asshole_. It’s an established fact that Kyungsoo has confirmed again and again but it doesn’t act as a deterrent. It feels like there’s a gravitational pull between them. Kyungsoo believes it to be true because Jongdae is still here. But Jongdae’s words make sense. Jongdae could have gone far rather than stay near, but Jongdae will argue, like he has just now, that he’s not going to make way because it affects Kyungsoo. That’s a ridiculous notion, for Jongdae who has always moved at his own _will_.

 

“I always thought you were dating Sehun,” Kyungsoo states, trying to start a point. “But then he said you weren’t and—”

 

Jongdae clears his throat, interrupting Kyungsoo. “What about Yifan hyung?”

 

The relationship Jongdae has with Sehun is clearly a topic that Jongdae doesn’t want to talk about. Kyungsoo’s stance on Yifan is the same. Kyungsoo chews down on his lip and holds his silence. _Yifan doesn’t… he didn’t hold on_ , his brain supplies with an evil, resonating cackle. It’s not Yifan’s words, but the rejection back then had replayed again and again, until all that is left in Kyungsoo’s memory is the negative. And it’s even worse because Kyungsoo hasn’t been able to bring himself to contact Yifan yet.

 

“He’s good to you,” Jongdae states. “Good for you.”

 

Kyungsoo wants to retort because Jongdae had met Yifan in a drunken state. Kyungsoo wants to argue because Jongdae is in no place to make that statement but Jongdae hits the nail right on the head. Jongdae can be considered a good judge of character. There’s no point in refuting it, when Kyungsoo knows it to be true. It would be unfair to discredit Yifan for something that he deserves.

 

“But you and I are,” Kyungsoo states, hesitating, because now that Kyungsoo is saying it, the concept feels confining, “Soul mates.”

 

Jongdae looks at Kyungsoo pointedly, “So?”

 

“So…” Kyungsoo has nothing to offer.

 

That’s what they are. They complete each other in a way that others cannot. If it were not for Jongdae, Kyungsoo would never be able to figure out how the books his father had given him work. And they get along well; it doesn’t hurt to have that. More importantly, it’s a rare occurrence to actually be able to meet. Kyungsoo thinks about Jongin, who’s always doing some chasing but never actually finding. Kyungsoo thinks about his parents and thinks about Soojung. Kyungsoo is lucky. It’s as they’ve often reported, a Miracle Meeting.

 

“This isn’t some kind of miracle,” Jongdae points out with a heavy sigh, once again, reading Kyungsoo like an open book. “Sehun’s my miracle.”

 

Kyungsoo thinks about the photos and the video and the sign that spelt out _orphanage_ and it slaps him across the face. It makes sense that Jongdae’s miracle is Sehun. Sehun pulled Jongdae through everything that has been difficult. All Kyungsoo has done for Jongdae is provided Jongdae with a world of colour. Jongdae may not have even needed that. Kyungsoo had been occasionally curious about the world of colour, but it’s not all that important. What kind of Miracle Meeting is this? It’s not, because both of them have survived when the world was plain, black and white.

 

“I’m sorry that this affects you negatively,” Jongdae states, continuing to shoot Kyungsoo down without giving him a chance to retaliate. Jongdae’s eyes and his voice display certainty and Kyungsoo finds it extremely unsettling but the words he had wanted to say fail him. “But I’m not sorry for my choice.”

 

Jongdae stands for a moment, waiting for a reply of some kind. Kyungsoo has nothing to say but the look on his face is probably enough. Kyungsoo knows that he is shocked, but Jongdae’s words are slowly sinking in. Jongdae, who continues to read Kyungsoo well, gives Kyungsoo a little nod and then turns to go on his own way. Kyungsoo only manages a snort because as angry as he is, Jongdae actually makes sense. If not for Sehun, Jongdae’s actions have always been for himself. There’s no flaw in Jongdae’s theory and it hurts, but Kyungsoo cannot wrong Jongdae for it.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo had occupied himself for the last month but to no avail. He drowned himself in his work and completely forgot about it until Baekhyun reminded him that he needed to go home. It is his father’s death anniversary and he had showed up to work, earning a disapproving glare from Baekhyun who sent him right to the station. Almost four hours later, because of transfers and waiting time, Kyungsoo ends up at his mother’s door step. He knocks on the door and apologises the moment that she opens it.

 

“I’m so sorry, omma,” Kyungsoo apologies with his head dropped.

 

She laughs and rushes him in, “We have time. I’m still preparing some side dishes.”

 

Kyungsoo heaves a sigh of relief and shuffles inside. He steps out of his shoes and leaves them at the entrance before following his mother into the kitchen. On his way, Kyungsoo rolls up his sleeve and then gets on his knees to help her pack the dishes.

 

“Have you been having a hard time?”

 

Kyungsoo freezes, “It’s not—”

 

“Work, I know,” she chuckles, because she doesn’t want to argue with Kyungsoo today. “Even if work is hard, you enjoy it.”

 

“How did you know?” Kyungsoo mumbles.

 

“Of course I know,” she smiles at him, “You took a break from work last month even though there was only a while left until you had to come down anyway.”

 

Kyungsoo just smiles back at her and continues to help her pack the food. It looks like he has left traces behind for his mother to catch on. But today is not the day that she would pick on it. They have agreed that they will not be anything but happy today.

 

“Let’s go,” she announces once everything is neatly wrapped up. “We shouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.”

 

Kyungsoo nods as he reaches out and loops her arm so that it rest against his. Kyungsoo takes the containers out of her hands so that she can lock up. They have to pick up flowers on the way and she can hold onto that instead. When they arrive at the florist, the carnations are ready to pick up. It’s a yearly routine that everyone around them knows.

 

It’s a long walk that is worth it when they arrive. Kyungsoo’s mother seems to return to the years where Kyungsoo’s father had been by her side. The tiredness in her features disappears as she smiles at the photo and the urn in which he rests. It’s a little sad but nonetheless she looks more alive. Once a year, Kyungsoo gets to see his mother looking like she did in some of those photos that still linger in their family albums. Kyungsoo stands to the side to give his parents some privacy. Once his mother is done, she waves a hand, gesturing for him to come.

 

“Appa,” Kyungsoo says, staring at the little cabinet that is reserved for his father. Kyungsoo fills a shot glass of soju and makes an offer, leaving the glass on the floor where the flowers and side dishes are. “We’ve missed you.”

 

Quietly, Kyungsoo updates his father on all of the new encounters on his life and when he mentions Jongdae, Kyungsoo makes sure to tell his father that it’s very hard but it’s starting to look like he will get through. Kyungsoo had been confused. He felt like he was being dragged around by everything around him but Kyungsoo has countless examples to follow. Baekhyun and Taeyeon display the wonders of being soul mates. The two of them are most definitely the perfect match but Kyungsoo also has Soojung who has amazing endurance and then there is Jongdae and his resilience. He just needs to pick one and follow through.

 

On their walk home, Kyungsoo’s mother asks him what he said to his father and Kyungsoo offers a wry smile in return. It sets off her radar of concern and she stops him in the middle of the road and pulls him over to the nearby park. She pushes Kyungsoo towards the seat and makes him sit as she kneels down in front of him.

 

“Omma!” Kyungsoo exclaims, reaching out to pull her back onto her feet.

 

“Shh,” she chides and swats Kyungsoo’s hand away. “Did something happen with Yifan?”

 

Kyungsoo heaves a deep sigh—that’s also an issue, “Yes.”

 

“What?” She asks, wearing her most serious expression but her tone betrays her. “He doesn’t want to meet me?”

 

As she had wanted, Kyungsoo’s lips instantly curls into a smile, “He does, actually.”

 

“Then you’re the one that doesn’t want him to meet me?” She gasps.

 

“I do,” Kyungsoo says immediately, making her smile.

 

The meeting between Yifan and Kyungsoo’s mother has been postponed time and time again because of timing issues but now, Kyungsoo isn’t even sure if he can entertain such a thought. Kyungsoo’s mother sighs in relief and then gets off the ground. She sits down into the space next to Kyungsoo and pats his head gently. Kyungsoo bites down on his lower lip and thinks of Yifan. The image of home comes up, and Kyungsoo remembers that Yifan’s birthday present is still lying around.

 

The thought triggers a whole bunch of memories. Almost everything in Kyungsoo’s home has some sort of a link to Yifan. The photos that Kyungsoo has on display are the most prominent example. Kyungsoo’s home has always been filled with the people he loves. That is, his parents and Yifan. Shameful enough to say, Yifan occupies more space than his parents do. Putting it into perspective like this, Kyungsoo feels relief, but there are also those damn books that sit on his shelves as a daily reminder.

 

“You know, the books appa got for me,” Kyungsoo starts. “I can use them now.”

 

Kyungsoo turns and looks at his mother directly in the eyes. There are many things that he cannot put into words and it scares him. Kyungsoo can only hope that she understands. What he wants to say is that he’s worried. Kyungsoo doesn’t know which it is that is controlling his heart. Although Kyungsoo hadn’t been interested, the concept of soul mates that he had been taught from a young age has deeper roots than he had expected. It had not been important at all but that all changed within seconds of realising the possibility.

 

“It’s not Yifan,” she confirms quietly.

 

The words trigger more memories that Kyungsoo had forgotten. Kyungsoo leans his forehead against her shoulder and closes his eyes. Yifan surfaces to mind and Kyungsoo smiles fondly at the Yifan’s clumsy image. About a year ago, Kyungsoo had found himself thinking that it didn’t have to be Yifan. He remembers calling his mother and telling her that the moment that he had conceived it. Here and now, in the face of reality, Kyungsoo knows that his feelings have not changed.

 

“It doesn’t have to be Yifan,” Kyungsoo repeats.

 

“Then that’s fine,” she says, kissing his forehead. “Your father and I were happy, you know.”

 

“I know, omma,” Kyungsoo swallows hard. There is a question that Kyungsoo wants to ask, but is afraid to, because if she says no and tells Kyungsoo it’s just him, he won’t know what to do. Noticing his stiffening posture, she pats his head and prompts him gently. “Omma… do you wonder?”

 

“Of course, silly,” she turns to hug him, “That’s what the brain does.”

 

She ends up laughing against Kyungsoo’s shoulder. It’s a fond laughter, the same one that she had offered when Kyungsoo was a child and had asked her if she loved him or Seungsoo more. Everything just falls into place for Kyungsoo. He feels childish, like he hadn’t managed to grow up at all, but the sense that comes now, is enough to make him want to kick himself. Unlike other people in the world, Kyungsoo is lucky enough to know. And as sloppy as it was, Kyungsoo received an answer. That’s more than enough. He doesn’t need any more than that.

 

 

 

 

 

On the day that Kyungsoo heads home, he runs into Yifan at Seoul subway station. Kyungsoo begins walking but stops when he spots Jongdae and Yifan together. It’s an odd sight and Kyungsoo doesn’t know why, but he hides himself behind a vending machine the moment that he sees both of them. However, from where he stands, Kyungsoo cannot hear their conversation. Their conversation does not look malicious but Kyungsoo drags himself a little bit closer to try and hear them anyway. He’s never been one to eavesdrop but the situation is dire. Then what seems to be a perfectly normal conversation turns sour when Jongdae’s expression contorts into distaste. Yifan, a giant though he may be, cowers and bows his head lightly in apology. It doesn’t help, because Jongdae resorts to using his fist.

 

It makes Kyungsoo jump but the crowded subway breaks into panic and Kyungsoo cannot find his way through. Everyone is scattering in multiple directions and it’s hard to see the situation. Kyungsoo doesn’t know if anyone is breaking up the fight but when he manages to push his way through, the fight has ceased and Jongdae and Yifan have gone their separate ways. Jongdae huffs his way up the stairs and Yifan slips through the glass doors just before the train sets off.

 

Groaning, Kyungsoo runs his hand through his hair and walks around the station to find a timetable for the next train. Luckily enough, the next train will come in ten minutes, so Kyungsoo stands there waiting. Once he manages to get on, it’s only four stops until he has to get off. Kyungsoo feels on edge the whole time, but he drags himself off the train and through the path to Yifan’s place.

 

The moment that the door comes into sight, Kyungsoo picks up the speed and presses the door bell. He has half a heartbeat of regret. There’s still half a heartbeat to retreat away from Yifan’s door but he doesn’t. His feet stay planted and his brain goes into overdrive mode. He knows that they’ve met before—hell, they may even be friends, that’s Jongdae’s nature—but he didn’t expect to see them together like _that_. God, what—

 

The door clicks open and Yifan’s voice follows in surprise, “Kyungsoo?”

 

Kyungsoo looks up and he’s probably glaring because Yifan curls into himself, to give way again. Kyungsoo eyes the corner of Yifan’s chipped lip and frowns. On Yifan’s finger, there is a bit of ointment and the ointment on his lips has not been applied evenly yet. The gash of blood is thick and the wound looks like it hurts. Jongdae looks small, but from what has resulted it looks like Jongdae packs quite a strong punch.

 

“Woah,” Yifan puts his hand up in defence. Kyungsoo looks around and realises that he’d reached out to touch Yifan’s wound but it probably didn’t look like Kyungsoo was only going to caress because Kyungsoo is angry. Still, Yifan doesn’t get _angry_ and that makes _Kyungsoo_ angrier. “Easy there.”

 

Kyungsoo stares directly into Yifan’s eyes, channelling his disapproval. “What were you two doing?”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know exactly what it is that he wants to know, but he definitely wants to know why Jongdae had used his fist. Kyungsoo is angry, but he’s not even certain who, between Jongdae and Yifan, he’s angrier at. Kyungsoo is certain that concerned about the both of them. They’re both extremely important to him, even if he doesn’t want to openly admit it. Besides, Jongdae is ruthless and Yifan is the type to cower away without a fight wherever possible. The combination isn’t a good one.

 

“You saw that?” Yifan cards his fingers through his hair with a long sigh. “There were some things I needed to tell Jongdae, that’s all.”

 

There’s a set distance between them. Yifan’s standing by the door and there’s no space for Kyungsoo. The distance that exists between them, makes Kyungsoo hyper aware of what his silence has done. It’s like there’s a wall between them and Kyungsoo cannot get past it. In the beginning, Kyungsoo was the one who had the wall up and now he realises, that Yifan must have felt the same way as Kyungsoo does now.

 

“Then why did he hit you?” Kyungsoo mumbles back.

 

“Ah…” Yifan flinches, the wound opening up as he tries to speak. Kyungsoo winces but wills his body to stay still. He cannot have Yifan retreating even further. “I was pretty rude… about his feelings for Sehun. I deserved it.”

 

“Okay?” Kyungsoo replies, not quiet thinking about his words, because what he says is the truth, “But that has nothing to do with you…”

 

“It’s you,” Yifan supplies automatically and then frowns immediately with regret. “Kyungsoo—”

 

Kyungsoo presses, because this is odd, “What is it?”

 

Yifan looks away, exhales a deep breath and attempts to look for an escape, but Kyungsoo reaches out and holds onto the door frame so that Yifan cannot close it. Yifan glares at Kyungsoo’s hand and then looks up gesturing for Kyungsoo to remove it but Kyungsoo refuses to give in. Yifan is hiding something from him.

 

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo questions, “You said it was about me. Don’t I have a right to know?”

 

Eventually, Yifan sighs in resignation, “It’s not pleasant.”

 

Kyungsoo nods in response, prompting Yifan to continue. There is no way that everything related to soul mates can be positive. There has to be some kind of backlash to a supposedly perfect relationship between two people. Kyungsoo has always held a hunch about it, but now, Yifan has the information that he’s always suspected exists. Yifan closes his eyes, sighs again and then looks down at Kyungsoo with a renewed stern expression.

 

“You were never interested,” Yifan argues. “Just leave it at that.”

 

Kyungsoo tightens his grip on the door frame, “Why does Jongdae get to know while I don’t?”

 

Yifan stares at Kyungsoo, hoping to win the battle of will. Kyungsoo’s eyes begin to sting but he allows the tear to fall before he gives in. Eventually, Yifan sighs in defeat and displays an expression that Kyungsoo is too familiar with. It’s one of pain and regret, like Yifan wants time start over so he can fix his mistake.

 

“I told him… I told Jongdae that he should treat you well,” Yifan swallows thickly. Kyungsoo loosens his grip on the door frame, because _why_ would Yifan want that? “Kyungsoo, if something ever happens to you… Jongdae will always be the first to know. I told him not to do anything that he’d regret.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo wonders, because Yifan has triggered a whole different train of thought, “How would Jongdae be the first to know?”

 

“Because,” Yifan’s expression grows dark as he speaks, “He’ll lose the ability to see colour.”

 

Kyungsoo stares at him for long time, before the words just slip out of his mouth, “How do you know that?”

 

Kyungsoo pushes for an answer because this is the first time he has ever heard Yifan speak about soul mates. Although Kyungsoo did not have much of an interest in it as a child, he’s always been ready to talk about it. It’s hard not to talk about it, especially with a friend like Baekhyun, who has been gushing about Taeyeon since middle school. A large portion of his friends are concerned and he has run across couples before. However, in all the time that Kyungsoo has known Yifan, the word hasn’t left his mouth once.

 

“Fei—” Yifan starts, but then stops, like he’s realised something.

 

Yifan chews on his upper lip and looks away. Kyungsoo tilts his head in confusion but there is no answer. Yifan darts his tongue out, to wet his dry lips, but no words exit his mouth. After a moment of deliberation, Yifan takes a visible step back and closes the door a fraction more. He hardens his expression and it is akin to the expression that Kyungsoo had worked extremely hard to soften.

 

“Yifan…”

 

“If this is what you’re here for, leave,” Yifan tells him. Kyungsoo falters and Yifan continues with a sigh. “I said that you could find me when you were ready to talk about us.” Yifan pauses, waiting for something, but Kyungsoo cannot bring himself to do anything. “This isn’t you being ready and this isn’t about us.”

 

Yifan lowers his head, a polite gesture for his goodbye and then closes the door. Even though he must have wanted to slam the door in Kyungsoo’s face, Yifan makes sure to close the door that lightly. Kyungsoo is left standing there for a long time, before he actually registers everything that he’s heard. Everything he tries afterwards to get Yifan to open the door again is in vain.

 

“Hyung—” Kyungsoo groans. He rests his head against the door and tugs roughly at his hair, as if that will bring him some relief. This wasn’t even what Kyungsoo had come here for and somehow, he’d managed to mess it up all over again. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

 

 

 

 

After Yifan’s rejection, Kyungsoo throws himself into his work. He picks up more shifts by using the excuse that he’s taken too many days off this year. No one buys the excuse but they don’t say anything either. Even Kyungsoo knows that he has more than enough annual leave piled up to take a whole year off work and still be paid. It’s a good distraction, especially when Kyungsoo is trying to avoid the issue. Kyungsoo enjoys his work for the most part because the month had sailed soothly, no issues with stocks or customers.

 

That is, until Kyungsoo notices that Sehun has been loitering outside the café for almost half and hour. Kyungsoo is very tempted to pop his head out to tell the boy to go away. Sehun is bothering the customers but at the same time, it’s chilly outside so Kyungsoo holds back on acting on the thought. Kyungsoo is irritated because the first thought that comes to mind still concerns Jongdae. What would Jongdae do to him if he allowed Sehun to stay outside and catch a cold?

 

Sighing with disdain because he still doesn’t want anything to do with Sehun at this point, Kyungsoo comes out from behind the counter and goes towards the door. Kyungsoo pushes the door open and pops his head outside, shuddering from the chill. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how Sehun is managing to deal with the weather in his thin cardigan. The sight of Sehun trembling sets Kyungsoo on a different tune.

 

“Are you going to come in or not?”

 

“Oh, um…” Sehun mumbles surprised, as if he hadn’t expected Kyungsoo to come out for him. Sehun fidgets on his feet, shifting his weight as he looks inside the store and then stepping in. “No… but do you have a moment?”

 

Kyungsoo looks around the store and asks Sehun for a moment. Sehun nods politely, even though he had only asked for formality. Kyungsoo goes back inside to remove his apron before he joins Sehun back outside. Kyungsoo follows Sehun a few steps down, but they stay within sight of the store. This conversation is probably inappropriate to be held inside—if it is even what Kyungsoo thinks it is.

 

“Where’s Jongdae?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

The question jumps out of Kyungsoo’s mouth before he can even filter it. It is normal to see Jongdae at _Grace_ without Sehun, but weird for Sehun to be here without Jongdae. When Kyungsoo shuts his mouth, he curses himself mentally because it’s becoming increasingly evident how familiar the sight of Jongdae and Sehun are together. The image starts to look wrong if they aren’t.

 

“He went to Daejeon this morning,” Sehun dawdles. “To visit Luhan hyung and Yixing hyung. You know them, don’t you?”

 

Kyungsoo nods, because he sort of does. Jongdae had mentioned them briefly and Kyungsoo remembers putting a label on that relationship. They are Jongdae’s treasured friends, but Jongdae only ever goes the distance to see them when he needs somewhere to hide. However, Kyungsoo doesn’t get what Sehun is trying to find out by asking, but he will answer honestly if it helps the situation.

 

“Do you know why?” Sehun asks and he sounds genuinely curious.

 

Kyungsoo steals a glance at the café to stall for some time. When he looks back, Sehun has a fresh determined look on his face. Kyungsoo finds himself staring back without a response because a lie doesn’t seem like it will get him through.

 

So Kyungsoo just returns the question, “Why?”

 

“Kyungsoo hyung,” Sehun addresses, surprising Kyungsoo.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo is immediately on guard.

 

“Jongdae hyung…” Sehun starts and then dawdles, like he doesn’t want to ask. “Are you his soul mate?”

 

The question is not unexpected, but Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say to Sehun so he stares back. Sehun looks on expectantly but he doesn’t repeat the question. Kyungsoo cannot bring himself to say _yes_ , because Sehun does not have his usual indifference. Today, Sehun appears before Kyungsoo with insecurities. Sehun is fidgety and unsure. Sehun doesn’t look it, but his slow and polite speech gives him away. It’s an odd image that Kyungsoo has an urge to tease but he doesn’t. The issue at hand is too serious for Kyungsoo to go that far.

 

In the end, they both have nothing to say to each other. It’s been a while since Kyungsoo has seen Sehun but it’s also the first time that they’re alone together. They’ve never talked alone before and Kyungsoo feels like he’s being crushed under Sehun’s height. Why are all the kids so tall these days? He reminds Kyungsoo of some of the kids that he had met when he had visited the school with Jongdae. Sehun looks exactly like a kid now that he has a proper look, all thin and childish in his taste. Kyungsoo chuckles a little, distracted by the thought. It’s no wonder that Jongdae deals with Sehun so easily.

 

“I’m—” Kyungsoo starts but doesn’t even get to finish.

 

Sehun’s response is quick, “Liar.”

 

“I haven’t said anything yet,” Kyungsoo argues.

 

“You don’t have to,” Sehun replies. “Jongdae hyung has been giving me the same guilt-ridden look.”

 

Sehun doesn’t say anything about their awkward behaviour as of late, but his tone underlines it. Jongdae and Kyungsoo have been obvious about keeping a distance. Kyungsoo had been more definitive about it, because Jongdae still pisses him off. They’re awkward around each other, different from how they had been since their first meeting. There’s no way it could have gone unnoticed.

 

Kyungsoo sighs in defeat, “Why bother asking, then?”

 

Kyungsoo looks directly at Sehun to study him, but a flicker of light in Sehun’s hair catches his attention. Kyungsoo bites down on his lip and takes a side step so that he can take a proper look. Every time Sehun moves in the direction of the sun, light flickers at Kyungsoo’s eyes and it irritates his eyes. Sehun looks down at him, a little uncomfortable in his expression but he speaks.

 

“What?” Sehun blurts out, sharply and it’s the first time Kyungsoo has found Sehun to be intimidating.

 

Kyungsoo swallows, “Hairclips.”

 

Kyungsoo points to the left side of Sehun’s hair. There is a pair of bobby pins crisscrossed in it. It’s not a weird look or anything; it just doesn’t look like something Sehun would wear. In the first place, it doesn’t look like Sehun puts much of an effort into his appearance. Sehun’s hair is already cut short, but there are a few strands trapped under the pins. It’s actually pretty neat trick that creates a fun pattern while keeping the loose strands styled.

 

“Oh,” Sehun says, absently running his fingers against the metal. There’s a little tick in his features but Kyungsoo cannot figure out what it is meant to be. “Yeah... um, it’s punishment.”

 

Kyungsoo raises his brows again, amused but also slightly quizzical. Sehun looks embarrassed. How is that anything near punishment? It looks more like Jongdae’s got a hobby with his hands, a tendency to make decorative things at will. Sehun is being indulgent. Looking at it, Sehun actually might be happy about it. There’s a tint of smile in his tone and his lips are curled slightly at the corners. Kyungsoo has never seen him like this, so his curiosity is piqued.

 

“Punishment?” Kyungsoo finds himself probing.

 

Sehun’s expression falters. He’s on a debate before he bites down on his lower lip and probably decides _ah, screw it_ from what Kyungsoo can decipher. Then Sehun’s lips quiver slightly and Kyungsoo stares. It’s an expression that Kyungsoo has often seen on Jongdae and Kyungsoo is kind of mesmerised by it. They are similar and it’s an effect that only happens because of how close they are. It’s a sight to see, because Kyungsoo has been told that he has picked up a number of Yifan’s habits, but couldn’t see it himself.

 

“Oh. Um… I fell asleep in the art room,” Sehun explains, stumbling over his words, like a child. “So hyung messed with my hair.”

 

“And you’re walking around for the whole day with it?”

 

“Well,” Sehun replies, fingers still tracing the bobby pins. “It’s not too noticeable and…”

 

Kyungsoo tiptoes and takes a closer look. It doesn’t look half bad. Actually, it might add a bit of flare to Sehun’s style. Sehun’s hair is a jet black and the bobby pins that Jongdae uses are the same golden ones that Kyungsoo has often seen Soojung slip into her hair. It looks complex but studying it closely, Kyungsoo can see that it has been made to trick the eyes. In the end, it’s just Jongdae’s hands being playful. Sehun’s hair looks like it has been professionally styled but all it is a crisscross pattern done to satisfy Jongdae’s little need to play around. But more than that, the important factor is Sehun. Sehun is indulgent of Jongdae’s behaviour. Jongdae’s not here and Sehun could have easily removed them, but he hasn’t.

 

“You like him,” Kyungsoo interrupts.

 

Sehun raises a brow, “Of course I do.”

 

Kyungsoo crosses his arms and stresses every character in his words, “ _You like him_.”

 

It’s not that it wasn’t evident before. Sehun would not be around Jongdae if he didn’t, but Kyungsoo had never really felt the affection strongly before this. Sehun has always just been there and Kyungsoo, along with the rest of them, had made the assumption. When confronted with it, Sehun had denied it. Although Kyungsoo had been confused, the argument hadn’t won over Baekhyun, who had secretly insisted to Kyungsoo that a relationship exists between Sehun and Jongdae.

 

But right now, Sehun is doing something that contradicts his own words. Now, it feels like Kyungsoo is the intruder between the two of them. Kyungsoo had gone through a number of phases. All the considerations had left him dejected but this is the worst of all. It feels like he’d been tricked and now, Sehun is here to shut him down.

 

“Yeah,” Sehun drops his shoulders, like he’s exhausted because Kyungsoo doesn’t understand a single word he’s saying. “We’ve been together since we were kids. There’s no way I couldn’t.”

 

Kyungsoo has to return that to him. It doesn’t look like Sehun understands the weight of his own words. The platonic love that Sehun is talking about does not apply to the relationship that he has with Jongdae. They’re both too close for that to be all. Even if it doesn’t appear like it, Jongdae’s “like” and Sehun’s “like” are one and the same. Even when he was faced with the binding theory of soul mates, Sehun hadn’t wavered—not like Kyungsoo had.

 

Despite himself, Kyungsoo finds him lips curling upwards, “And neither of you let go.”

 

Sehun tilts his head in confusion, his mouth silent but eyes judgemental, _what on Earth are you trying to say?_

 

“I’m sure there were offers for a home,” Kyungsoo continues and he hopes, that that’s the lightest way he could have put it. “But you chose each other.”

 

Kyungsoo keep his eyes locked on Sehun’s as he waits for a response. Sehun has been running away from Jongdae for a long time, but Kyungsoo won’t give up on the chase just yet. He wants closure and if this is the way to get it then so be it. If it didn’t click for Sehun before, it should click right about now. Sehun has always been over-protective of Jongdae. Kyungsoo has to wonder if Sehun knows this himself.

 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” Sehun takes a step back and lowers his gaze so that he is no longer looking at Kyungsoo’s eyes. “But you and Jongdae hyung... have you spoken with Yifan hyung about this?”

 

Kyungsoo winces just as Sehun says it. The image of Jongdae clashes with an image of Yifan and he shakes his head vigorously to rid himself of the both of them. Sehun stares at Kyungsoo, as if Kyungsoo is being weird, but he doesn’t say anything at all. That part of Sehun is especially annoying, because Kyungsoo can feel Sehun judging, but because Sehun doesn’t say anything, Kyungsoo doesn’t have any room to reprimand him.

 

Kyungsoo opens up his mouth to answer but Sehun stops him. Sehun raises his hand and presses an index finger to his mouth, gesturing for Kyungsoo to stop. Kyungsoo arches a brow to question Sehun, but soon, the answer comes. Kyungsoo hears bells on Sojin’s anklet in the background as she walks in a familiar rhythm. As the sound approaches, Kyungsoo nods in understanding.

 

“Kyungsoo? What are you doing?” Sojin’s tone highlights surprise and then she looks at Kyungsoo with a frown. “I’m sorry I’m running a bit late today.”

 

Sehun flicks his eyes across to Sojin to acknowledge her presence before turns back to Kyungsoo. “I—”

 

“Hot chocolate,” Kyungsoo’s reply is automatic as he shuffles inside, waving Sehun along. Sehun had wanted to talk privately, so Kyungsoo knows better than to continue with Sojin by their side. But, he cannot let it end like this. “I know. Come inside.”

 

Sojin follows them inside but then quickly escapes to the kitchen. Kyungsoo looks at her escape and turns to Sehun with a look. The two of them usually get along well. Today, they barely exchange a greeting. Kyungsoo raises a brow to which Sehun ignores, and urges Kyungsoo to go on. Kyungsoo picks up some dirty cutlery on the way and puts them into the sink before he puts the apron back on and turns to the espresso machine. There’s something that Kyungsoo wants to test so he takes his time making Sehun’s hot chocolate. It is a good chance because Jongdae isn’t present and Sehun is sticking close to him.

 

“I have a few things to ask you,” Kyungsoo says.

 

“Okay,” Sehun blinks at him, confused but shrugs. “Ask.”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother with the question about chocolate because he knows that for a fact. It’s the other things that are bothering Kyungsoo. Other than chocolate, Kyungsoo manages to confirm all of Sehun’s favourite snacks, his favourite flavour of instant noodles, his favourite brand of energy drink and even his favourite type of milk tea. These things are all things that Kyungsoo had believed to be partially related to Jongdae but they are actually all about Sehun.

 

Kyungsoo finishes off with a whole bunch of dates that Jongdae had mentioned so many times, it became a constant part of Kyungsoo’s memory. Sehun names all the events for them and as expected, they’re things that are important to Jongdae, only because they are related to Sehun. There are things like graduation dates and award dates. Then there’s one date Kyungsoo remembers Jongdae always mentioning in a bitter manner. Turns out, it is because it was Sehun’s first date.

 

“And April 12th is?”

 

“My birthday,” Sehun’s frown deepens by the minute, because it looks like Kyungsoo knows him too well. “You realise that you’re being creepy, don’t you?”

 

“I am not,” Kyungsoo bites back and jokingly throws out a tightly clenched fist. “Jongdae just doesn’t know how to shut up about you.”

 

Sehun flinches immediately, hands flying up to protect his face. Sehun lowers it again when he senses that there is no danger and frowns at Kyungsoo, as if he had said something wrong. Kyungsoo shakes his head and turns off the steamer to pour the hot chocolate into the paper cup. Once it’s filled, Kyungsoo shakes some chocolate powder on top and seals it off with a plastic cap.

 

“It’s on the house so get out of here,” Kyungsoo sighs, sliding the paper cup over. “And bring him home.”

 

“Why should I…” Sehun starts, only to mumble.

 

Kyungsoo shoot him a sharp glare but he doesn’t say what doesn’t need to be said. Sehun may think that as Jongdae’s soul mate, Kyungsoo would be able to bring him home, but that’s not true. If Sehun misses Jongdae, Sehun should bring Jongdae home. Furthermore, Sehun is the only one who can do it. Kyungsoo has already resigned to that fact that Sehun is the only one that truly matters to Jongdae. The only thing Kyungsoo cannot accept is Jongdae’s cowardice.

 

However, Kyungsoo has no room to speak, because he is missing Yifan but doesn’t have any courage to do anything about it. Kyungsoo reasons that he hasn’t managed to sort anything out yet so that is his reason to avoid it. It is true to an extent because even when he had managed to get Jongdae talking, it had been a one-sided type of conversation that didn’t do anything for Kyungsoo. But more than that, Kyungsoo lives in a constant fear of being properly rejected this time around.

 

“Thank you, hyung,” Sehun says, curling his hand around the paper cup.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t even care what Sehun is thanking him for. He takes it as thanks for the hot chocolate, because the issue with Jongdae hasn’t been sorted out yet. But that’s not important anymore. As of today, Kyungsoo is content with knowing where Sehun stands. A large part of him feels relief, probably because he still cares greatly for Jongdae, who is more a friend than a soul mate.

 

Once Sehun is gone, Sojin pokes her head out from the kitchen to look around. “Is he gone?”

 

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asks to be polite, “Did Sehun offend you in some way?”

 

Sojin drops her head onto the counter, sobbing, “He rejected me.”

 

Kyungsoo tilts his head to try and read her expression, “He rejected you? When?”

 

“Taeyeon’s housewarming party,” Sojin whines, kicking her feet against the cupboard. “It was so embarrassing. Junmyeon just made things worse you know? He was walking back and forth with this really confused expression on his face, as if he didn’t know whether to comfort me or Sehun.”

 

Kyungsoo thinks back to the housewarming party and the first thing he remembers is colours, like Jongdae’s pink lips and Jongdae’s glossy brown eyes. Then something else registers and it is Yifan’s royal blue tie against his plain white dress shirt. After that, his mind explores the situation. Kyungsoo tries to recall everyone that had been present and Junmyeon stands out. Now that Kyungsoo has Sojin’s explanation, the situation makes sense. There had been a reason for the weird atmosphere that Kyungsoo had noticed and the distance that existed between Jongdae and Sehun. Now that Kyungsoo puts it all together, it starts to form a picture that actually explains a lot.

 

“Sehun’s like me,” Sojin says. “We don’t have soul mates.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open immediately, “What?”

 

“Don’t you know anything about soul mates?” Sojin frowns at him.

 

“I know,” Kyungsoo replies, “Just not much. I wasn’t really interested in it as a child.”

 

Sojin heaves a heavy sigh and puts a hand up, requesting a minute break. Out of everything that Kyungsoo has learnt about soul mates, he has never heard that there was a possibility not to have one. Finding the one is rare, but not having one is a completely new story to Kyungsoo. But if Sojin is speaking the truth then the situation is so rare it’s barely noticeable.

 

“So, basically,” Sojin runs her fingers through her ponytail, “The two of us have always seen colour and that means that we don’t have designated soul mates.”

 

That actually lines up pretty well, Kyungsoo thinks. Jongdae is not Sehun’s soul mate. According to the basic theory, Sehun wouldn’t be the artist that he is today, because he lacks the understanding of colours. But if Sojin is right, then Sehun’s world of colour has come naturally. More importantly for Kyungsoo, if Sojin and Sehun are not bound, Kyungsoo doesn’t need to be either. But Sojin must have liked Sehun quite a bit, if she went all the way and confessed to him, especially since Jongdae is in the middle.

 

“ _Liked_ ,” Sojin stresses, like she’s still trying to convince herself that her feelings have now passed. “Sehun’s only ever going to think about Jongdae.”

 

“He denied it earlier,” Kyungsoo points out.

 

“Urgh,” Sojin whines and slams her head repeatedly against the counter. “Those two are so annoying.”

 

Kyungsoo pats Sojin’s shoulder gently because he agrees, but has no words of comfort.

 

 

 

 

 

The first time that Kyungsoo gathers the courage up to contact Yifan, he misses. Kyungsoo had wanted to do it face to face and he didn’t think about using his phone to make an appointment, but he didn’t think that he will miss the target either. Kyungsoo drops by the station at the end of Yifan’s most consistent Thursday evening shift, but he’s not there. Kyungsoo looks around and is about to ask at the front desk when Yejin spots him and gives him a huge smile.

 

Yejin rushes over, places her cap on Kyungsoo’s head and pushes him back outside. It’s so that he doesn’t get caught by Amber. Kyungsoo thanks her for her consideration and they hold a brief conversation because Yifan is not at the station this week. Yejin tells Kyungsoo that Yifan had taken a flight home, back to China as she removed her cap from his head.

 

That prompts a question before Kyungsoo can even filter it, “To see Fei?”

 

Yejin stops fiddling with her cap and stares at Kyungsoo. “Sort… of?”

 

Kyungsoo stares back at her because that’s not an answer. Yejin shifts away uncomfortably but Kyungsoo doesn’t give in. She scratches her head in an unsure manner but eventually gives Kyungsoo a small, tight smile. He waits because it looks like she has something she wants to say. In the end, she heaves a sigh and places the cap back onto Kyungsoo’s head.

 

“I’ll be back,” Yejin tells him, “Wait here for me. But don’t get caught!”

 

Kyungsoo pulls the cap down with a nod and turns to hide behind the vending machine in the corner. Kyungsoo feels awkward standing at the station without company. It feels like everyone is watching him for trouble. Agitated, Kyungsoo takes a peek from behind the vending machine and is lucky to see Yejin rushing forward. She pulls a wide smile across her face, but is gesturing with her hands for him to keep hiding. Kyungsoo shrinks back into his hiding place and waits nervously for Yejin to come back around.

 

“Okay,” Yejin exclaims. Kyungsoo jumps and she reaches out and throws her arm over his shoulder, leading him away. “I’m going on my break!”

 

Kyungsoo instinctively begins to turn his head to find out who she’s speaking to, but Yejin tightens her grip and forces him back to face the front. Yejin keeps him close until they arrive at the convenience store where she will be taking her break. She directs him to the table to wait while she makes herself some instant noodles.

 

“Hot… hot!” Yejin complains, dropping the cup onto the table and pinching her ear lobes as she slides in next to Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo helps out by clipping the cup and the paper together, using the unbroken wooden chopsticks, “It wasn’t something we could talk about at the station?”

 

Yejin twists open a bottle of water and drinks, while fishing around in her pocket. Dropping a wallet onto the table, she gestures to Kyungsoo to open it. As he picks up the brown leather wallet and flips it open, Kyungsoo wonders briefly if it belongs to Yejin, but if Yejin’s behaviour is anything to go by then it’s probably Amber’s.

 

“There’s a photo underneath,” Yejin explains, separating her chopsticks, “Be careful with it though.”

 

Kyungsoo picks up the wallet again and lifts up the photo of Amber and Yejin that sits on top. As Yejin had said, there’s another and he pulls it out carefully. Once Kyungsoo has it all taken out, he places it on the table and stares at it. It’s a group photo and Kyungsoo recognises Amber amongst all the people but his eyes are immediately drawn to a wide smiling Yifan. Kyungsoo knows that goofy grin. Kyungsoo has had the honour of seeing it in person.

 

“That’s Fei,” Yejin points to the lady standing next to Yifan.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes dart over to the person that is standing right next to Yifan. He had seen her too, taken in by her smile, bright and cheery, but the image of Yifan had drawn his attention away. Fei stands close to Yifan and Yifan has an arm wrapped around her waist. It’s a group photo but the two of them stand distant enough from the group that it can be cut to be a couple photo.

 

“She passed away,” Yejin says quietly and Kyungsoo hears her, but he feels like she’s distant. “Amber doesn’t talk about her a lot. I thought Yifan would have mentioned… did he not?”

 

Kyungsoo runs his finger across the photo, immersed. Yejin frowns, but doesn’t push the question. Kyungsoo leans back against the chair, hands clutching at his chest. He had asked for the knowledge, but it pains him a lot more than he had expected it to. Still, Kyungsoo cannot tear his eyes away from the image.

 

“It happened a couple of years before you two met,” Yejin continues mixing her noodles. “Amber said something about Yifan and the Homicide Squad back in China… so I’m guessing it’s related, but I can’t say for sure.”

 

When Kyungsoo turns to look at Yejin, she is downing some water to cool down her mouth. Her cup of noodles is empty and Kyungsoo is taken aback by how fast she managed to devour that. Or maybe, it’s just time that had slowed down for Kyungsoo.

 

“Was she… his soul mate?” Kyungsoo whispers.

 

Yejin nods, “From what I heard…”

 

Kyungsoo zones out of Yejin’s voice again and continues studying the photo. Everything that Yifan had said to him earlier starts to make sense. Yifan had been speaking from experience. It was a painful experience that Yifan probably did not want to bring up, but did so anyway. All it comes back down to is Kyungsoo. Yifan’s request to Jongdae had been to consider Kyungsoo. Yifan’s suggestion for a break had also been in consideration of Kyungsoo. It is all so that Kyungsoo can make a choice that will save him from the heartache.

 

“I’m an idiot,” Kyungsoo mumbles, dropping his head hard against the table.

 

“Ah… oh, Kyungsoo, don’t do that…” Yejin interrupts awkwardly, lifting Kyungsoo’s head up and rubs his forehead gently. “I need to head back. Sorry I can’t be any more help.”

 

“No…” Kyungsoo replies quietly. “Thank you… and I’m sorry if Amber gets upset with you for this.”

 

“Yeah,” Yejin flashes him a wide nervous smile as she pockets the wallet. “So I’m going to rush back. I’ll see you later, okay?”

 

Kyungsoo nods. “Okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo has done a lot of reading since then and put the pieces together as closely as possible. The name Fei stuck to his mind but there is no other information anywhere. Kyungsoo could only conclude, after Sojin’s lesson, the concept of soul mates is actually more complex than it appears to be. There’s no way it’s as simple as just a world of colour upon the meeting of one’s soul mate. Sojin and Sehun do not have them. So what can happens if one does? And what happens if something changes?

 

Kyungsoo had made a few trips to the library after that to find out as much information that he could. He ends up spending so many hours in the library doing his research, it made him feel like a student again. There isn’t much in the books, other than fairytales and hopeful stories. On the internet, theories exist but nothing is confirmed. All that Kyungsoo takes from the accounts that he’s managed to get his hands on, are that people are consistently happy.

 

Then Kyungsoo stumbles upon an old book, buried under piles of different texts in the Reserve section of National Library. The book is enclosed in a leather cover and its pages are dark and gloomy. Hidden deep inside the text, there are a few rare accounts of people like Sehun and Sojin. Kyungsoo reads them with interest but as he turns the pages, the contents change to cover people that are considered normal, people _with_ soul mates. Most of the information contained inside is consistent, except for areas where new discoveries have been made.

 

Then there is a small section of the text that describes the world of those who don’t know what they have until they’ve lost it. The text makes it sound like punishment. A bolded passage in the text book tells the experience of a young lady, who had met her soul mate at a young age and then lost him to death within the same year. It dates back a few hundred years and the commentary that follows, blames her for not treasuring her soul mate along with the world of colour when she had it.

 

Kyungsoo had to re-read it twice before he actually understands the old language. It is the same thing that Yifan had been talking about. Although Kyungsoo doesn’t know the whole story behind Yifan and Fei, he knows that the first thing he has to do is apologise. From the way that Yifan had withdrawn, Kyungsoo had probably brought back a whole bunch of unwanted and painful memories. Kyungsoo actually has a list of things to apologise for, but this apology has topped the chart.

 

The next time that Kyungsoo comes around the police station, he is more careful. Kyungsoo looks right and left before he enters, but Amber catches him off-guard. When Kyungsoo feels a gentle tap on his shoulder, he turns around with a small smile. Kyungsoo is ready to ask Yejin for her help because she’s the only one in the station that is this gentle, but is faced with Amber’s stern glare instead. Kyungsoo has hurt Yifan and he understands Amber’s resentment. But he’s trying to fix things and if she doesn’t let him through, he cannot do anything about it.

 

“Amber…” Kyungsoo whispers. “Hi.”

 

“Are you here to report something?” Amber only asks because it’s a part of her job, “If not, leave. We’re pretty busy as you can see.”

 

“Um…” Kyungsoo shrinks further under her glare.

 

Kyungsoo attempts to look around for help, but Amber moves her body accordingly, to follow the direction of Kyungsoo’s gaze. Kyungsoo almost whines because she’s being scary but he is lucky. Kyungsoo manages to catch Yejin’s eyes as she comes through the halls and she chuckles at his state, but rushes over to help. Yejin does a run-up and jumps on Amber’s back.

 

“Hey!” Yejin exclaims brightly. “Why are you two standing out here?”

 

“Are you asking because you don’t know?” Amber mumbles, trying to peel Yejin off.

 

Yejin applies a bit more force and attempts to spin Amber around. Kyungsoo steps back instinctively so that Amber doesn’t kick him in the stomach and label it an accident. Once Yejin has the upper hand, she detaches herself from Amber and pushes Amber away so that she can get a proper world in.

 

“He’s on patrol,” Yejin leans in closer to Kyungsoo and offers him a sympathetic smile. “He went down to the nearby park. You’ll catch him if you run.”

 

“Hey!” Amber yells, trying to cut in. “You didn’t tell him did you? Lee Yejin!”

 

Kyungsoo takes a quick step back and flashes Yejin a weak smile, “Thanks.”

 

Kyungsoo slips away before Amber can get her hands on him. He knows that he’ll have to apologise to them later, but Yifan should be the first one to receive his apology. Kyungsoo couches down as he passes by the station so that Amber doesn’t see him from the window and then takes the route that Yejin had advised.

 

No doubt about it, he finds Yifan patrolling the course with leisured steps. Kyungsoo makes a mental reminder to buy Yejin lots of ice cream as thanks. Keeping a distance, Kyungsoo falls into step with Yifan. Kyungsoo follows him on the other side of the road, just watching silently. He has thoughts of going over to interrupt but there’s something nice about watching Yifan from afar. It is peaceful for Kyungsoo to watch so he continues to follow.

 

Kyungsoo has a strong urge to walk up to Yifan and take his hand. Yifan remains sweet no matter what it is that he does. Right now, he is being impossibly kind to the children that cling to him and disrupted his duties. Despite their distraction, Yifan makes sure to watch out for them and Kyungsoo is content to just watch. Interrupting now would be unfair. They have many things to discuss before Kyungsoo can settle back into Yifan’s life. It won’t be easy, but Kyungsoo doesn’t need to rush. Instead, he follows Yifan on the other side of the path and watching from a far.

 

Although there was not much achieved, Kyungsoo feels content. Yifan is still Yifan, no matter what it is that happens. His kindness radiates to others and Kyungsoo’s attraction to that hasn’t faded. Even though Kyungsoo followed for a good hour without managing to start the conversation that he wanted, Kyungsoo is happy to head home for the day and try again later. From the looks of it, Yifan had had a pretty good day. Kyungsoo shouldn’t turn up uninvited to cause him unnecessary grief.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo offers to carry the basket for a picnic because that’s a minimal effort that he can put in. Cooking is something that he enjoys so he won’t count that as a part of his task. It’s been a while since Kyungsoo has seen Soojung. Soojung had suddenly created a group chat and invited everyone to an End of Fall Picnic at Seoul Forest.

 

“Did your schedule just open up?”

 

“Yup!” Soojung lights up, “I can finally take a break.”

 

“You can warm up, too,” Kyungsoo jokes.

 

She’s probably been on the rink more than ground if that’s how she sounds at the prospect of a break. Soojung gives him a dorky grin as she lays out the picnic mat. Kyungsoo helps straighten out the corners and then sets the basket down in the middle so that the mat doesn’t go flying. Once they have set everything up, Soojung sits down and Kyungsoo takes a seat opposite of her.

 

Kyungsoo allows his mind to wonder as Soojung opens up the basket to take out the food. He looks around himself, content to have the fresh air until he spots Jongdae and Sehun on the right side of his vision. The two of them are seated under a tree, but Kyungsoo recognises them, Jongdae’s colours, still heighten in his eyes.

 

“Oppa?”

 

Kyungsoo turns his head back around, “Oh, Soojung?”

 

She passes him a cup of juice. “Are you alright?”

 

Kyungsoo brushes her concern aside with a wide smile. Kyungsoo thanks her for her consideration and takes the cup into his hands. Soojung smiles back and sips her own cup. Between the two of them, Soojung speaks casually as they wait for others to join them, but Kyungsoo’s eyes are drawn to the image of Jongdae and Sehun together.

 

It’s anything but perfect. Jongdae is splayed across Sehun’s lap. It doesn’t look very comfortable for either of them but Sehun doesn’t move nor does he attempt to push Jongdae away. Instead, Sehun resists in his own way, hoping that Jongdae will take the hint. Sehun keeps the book open and the pencil moving all the while, shifting to accommodate Jongdae. Sehun grazes the paper with his pencil, titling when he needs to fix the awkward angles, but he doesn’t push Jongdae away.

 

And although he cannot hear it, Kyungsoo can see Jongdae laughing as he gets in the way of Sehun’s sketching. Jongdae is being as he normally is. _Annoying_ , is the word if Kyungsoo needs to describe it. Jongdae twists and turns, grabs the book at will and comments on it. Sehun stops and frowns but does nothing more until Jongdae settles again and gives him the book so that he can continue to draw.

 

“Are they going to be late?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

Soojung pulls out her phone and checks the chat logs, “Looks like it.”

 

Kyungsoo steals another look and sees Sehun’s exasperated expression. The boy huffs and finally pulls Jongdae off of him. Kyungsoo thinks that he will be able to see the cracks in their bond but that is not so. Instead of pushing Jongdae away, Sehun pulls Jongdae into his lap and sets his art book against Jongdae’s knee. Then Sehun shifts forward, chest pressed against Jongdae’s back and starts drawing again. This time, Jongdae smiles in contentment, corner of his lips upturned and eyes sparkling. This look is one that Kyungsoo rarely sees. It’s an expression that Jongdae reserves for Sehun and no one else.

 

Jongdae sits still from there and keeps his knees up, acting as an easel for Sehun. Jongdae remains quiet and content to be right where he is. There is a huge smile on Jongdae’s face the whole time. Kyungsoo cannot gauge Sehun’s emotions because he is pressed close and his expression is covered by Jongdae’s head as he leans forward so that he can draw, but Kyungsoo is sure that Sehun’s expression is nothing less than the happiness that Jongdae is showing. They really are an annoying pair.

 

“Is Yifan oppa coming?” Soojung asks, interrupting Kyungsoo’s thoughts.

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo puts on a smile. He hasn’t told them yet. “Um… probably not. He’s busy.”

 

Soojung just gives him a smile. She knows about the nature of Yifan’s work. It is rare for Yifan to be available when someone springs sudden plans on him. Yifan will make an effort if he is given notice beforehand. That’s what Kyungsoo likes about him. But Kyungsoo is currently overthinking because Yifan had received an invitation from Soojung but didn’t respond.

 

“Before the others get here,” Kyungsoo says, in attempt at distracting himself. “What did you want to discuss last time?”

 

Soojung stops chewing on her snack and stiffens immediately. It’s probably a bad idea to ask so directly, but Kyungsoo feels bad about Jongin’s interruption from last time. Kyungsoo is still her friend as he is Jongin’s, so he wants to divide his attention evenly. Besides that, Kyungsoo has had enough of listening to Jongin’s complaints. It is time to give Soojung the light of day and Kyungsoo’s ears an change of topic.

 

“Oh, um,” Soojung chews on her lip, “I’m… well, I’m going to America. I was going to tell you back then, but I hadn’t really decided yet so I didn’t want to... I guess, scare you?”

 

Kyungsoo stares in disbelief but Soojung chuckles, scratching her cheeks lightly. She had expected Kyungsoo’s reaction but it still makes her giggle. Soojung’s plans sounds sudden but if Kyungsoo backtracks rightly, it means that she’s had several months to come to the conclusion. Kyungsoo swallows, feeling bad for not being there to talk to her about it. From what Kyungsoo can see, Soojung had wanted input but then couldn’t quite ask for it.

 

“I received an offer to train for figure skating,” Soojung explains, smiling. She’s definitely happy about that. “Sooyeon unni said she’d accommodate me over there so there’s no reason not to go.”

 

“You haven’t told Jongin yet?” Kyungsoo blurts out automatically.

 

It’s not as if Soojung’s dreams are not important. It’s just that Soojung has always valued Jongin so Kyungsoo has a hard time picturing the departure. Jongin has always been chasing after his soul mate and Soojung had always walked the parallel line to watch over him. From what Kyungsoo has heard, Jongin’s chase remains fruitless. The two of them have continually crossed paths without meeting but he had thought that it would eventually happen.

 

Soojung squirms. “It’s not important to him.”

 

“What about _you_?” Kyungsoo is flabbergasted by her words. “You’re important, too.”

 

Soojung just smiles without an answer. Before Kyungsoo can say more, she refills his cup of juice and then picks up her own. Looking into the distance, Soojung keeps the paper cup pressed to her lips, slipping every now and then without any intention of continuing that conversation. She’s lucky that the others begin to show up. Kyungsoo cannot get a word in as Soojung moves away from him to greet those that are coming.

 

Left alone, Kyungsoo wonders if he’d said something wrong and when he hears his words again, Kyungsoo wonders why didn’t think like that for himself. _You’re important, too._ Kyungsoo is stunned to silence, because it wasn’t anyone else that said it, but himself. Before he can slap himself for being silly, Baekhyun jumps him.

 

“Kyungsoo!”

 

Kyungsoo pushes Baekhyun away, “Why are you always like this?”

 

“You like me like this,” Baekhyun retorts and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

 

Once Soojung has made a full circle, she comes back around to make sure that Kyungsoo eats before she moves on to check on the others. Kyungsoo realises now that she’s saying her goodbyes. Soojung doesn’t say it directly. She just smiles brightly as she speaks to everyone that comes. Jongin shows up as well and Soojung smiles brightest when he’s there. Soojung remains perfectly polite and Jongin doesn’t notice a thing.

 

When Soojung comes around to talk to Baekhyun, he points out that Sehun and Jongdae are also at the park. Everyone but Sojin and Kyungsoo turn to look. Kyungsoo realises that he had noticed first because he is always and will continue to be aware of Jongdae. Sojin notices, because her feelings for Sehun haven’t faded as much as she claimed them to be. But this, Kyungsoo also realises, is something that time will fix. Eventually, Sojin will move on and Kyungsoo will become used to Jongdae’s presence.

 

Sojin and Kyungsoo exchange a glance and they both nod in agreement. Baekhyun has no sense, but it’s Soojung’s day today, so Kyungsoo says nothing. Soojung lights up at the prospect of having more people around and grins. Kyungsoo isn’t sure if Soojung had invited them, but she tells him that she had no way of contacting them.

 

“I’ll go get them,” Soojung grins, flashing a perfect set of white teeth. “Stay and eat.”

 

“Kyungsoo will do it,” Baekhyun pipes up and Kyungsoo throws him a sharp look, but Baekhyun just shrugs. “Just do it. It’s not going to hurt you.”

 

The last time Baekhyun said that, it hurt quite a bit, Kyungsoo wants to retort, but it’s not for Baekhyun to know, so he zips his mouth. Kyungsoo doesn’t really want to intrude on their personal space. His expression shows it but Baekhyun pushes anyway—the little shit. Begrudgingly, he gets up and makes his way over. It’s better him than Baekhyun, who does not know when to back off. Sehun notices him from the distance, looks up and meets his eyes with a small smile. Then when he steps closer, Kyungsoo notices Sehun cradling Jongdae’s ear to block out the noise.

 

“I was just going to ask…” Kyungsoo replies awkwardly, pointing to the picnic site. “But…”

 

“Sorry,” Sehun frowns and there’s no snide tone in his remark today. Sehun pauses for a moment, probably rethinking their last conversation but then decides against it. They both know that Kyungsoo had been right. “Jongdae hyung just fell asleep but if he wakes up, I’ll let him know.”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods. Jongdae looks safe and secure, without a worry and so Kyungsoo doesn’t feel the need to worry either. There’s more that Kyungsoo wants to say but he cannot see this as a fit timing. “I understand.”

 

Sehun gives him a little nod. Kyungsoo turns to leave, but catches sight of Soojung smiling hopefully and has to retrace his steps. Kyungsoo turns back to Sehun and gives the boy a fresh smile.

 

“If you feel like it later though,” Kyungsoo adds, to be polite. “Just come and join us.”

 

“Okay,” Sehun affirms and then looks up at Kyungsoo expectantly.

 

Kyungsoo takes a careful step back, “What…?”

 

“Have you been okay?” Sehun replies softly, eyes dull without any interest.

 

Kyungsoo manages an amused snort. “You’re just asking for his sake aren’t you?”

 

“Well… yeah.” Sehun admits and his eyes sparkling slightly, “I don’t really care about you, hyung.”

 

Kyungsoo feels his brows twitch and he has the urge to reprimand, but they have Jongdae between them. Being considerate, Kyungsoo scoffs, softly—rather affectionately—to his own surprise and flicks Sehun’s forehead gently as punishment. Kyungsoo thinks about the question briefly and then smiles widely at Sehun.

 

“I’ve been fine,” Kyungsoo answers. “But hold him in some suspense for me, will you?”

 

The mischievous light sparkles again, “Alright,” Sehun agrees. “He has been an ass.”

 

The simple assurance makes Kyungsoo feel lighter. It hadn’t been as difficult as he had thought it will be. Kyungsoo supposes that the ease only came because the person he had addressed was Sehun. Still, Kyungsoo had put in some effort today and that’s enough. He can deal with Jongdae later and by that time, Kyungsoo hopes that Jongdae will have done a little bit of reflection.

 

“I’ll see you then,” Kyungsoo announces with a wave. “Take good care of yourself… and him.”

 

Sehun gives Kyungsoo a nod, certain unlike the last time and Kyungsoo feels assured that his soul mate will be left in good hands. Or at the very least, more suitable hands than his own. He returns to the picnic site, light-hearted and gleeful. Kyungsoo lies to Baekhyun, telling him Jongdae had rejected the invitation because Baekhyun had been the one to initiate it. It makes Baekhyun pout for the rest of the day and Kyungsoo is content for Jongdae to be the friend that can make Baekhyun suffer on Kyungsoo’s behalf.

 

 

 

 

 

This is a pretty ridiculous situation. Kyungsoo had intended to let it sit for a little longer, but things never go according to plan. Kyungsoo had been so angry weeks prior; he didn’t think that it’d be possible for them to be on such friendly terms straight away. But then Kyungsoo is reminded that Jongdae is exceptionally friendly in nature and once he set his eyes on the prey, he will not let go so easily. Jongdae had given Kyungsoo two weeks before he came crashing into his life again.

 

Jongdae corners Kyungsoo at the entrance of the café. Jongdae is smiling brightly, like nothing in the world is wrong. It makes Kyungsoo want to punch him, but there are too many witnesses to his violence. Kyungsoo would rather not be pulled into the police station—it will be the nearest one where Yifan is stationed. Kyungsoo and Yifan haven’t talked in a long time due to Kyungsoo’s cowardice. The station is not the place to do it, nor should Jongdae be the reason for it.

 

Kyungsoo groans, “Jongdae.”

 

“Hey,” Jongdae says, waving his hand that has another _Red Velvet_ coffee in it. Kyungsoo finds it funny but it’s not an important matter anymore. “Can you spare some time?”

 

Kyungsoo can say no, but Sehun had called him a liar, aligning him with Jongdae and Kyungsoo has no intention of conforming to that description. Besides that, Kyungsoo’s shift has just ended and there’s a crowd. Kyungsoo can feel their gaze burning from inside the store. So Kyungsoo bites down on his lip and nods, following the steps that Jongdae takes. Every step is undertaken in silence; give for a few moments of humming. It’s exactly like the times that Kyungsoo had followed without question—first to the school and for the second time, oddly enough towards Namsan Tower. Kyungsoo now suspects that Jongdae must have been lonely.

 

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo sighs, exhausted but follows, as Jongdae walks them to the Yellow Bus stop. If Jongdae is really leading Kyungsoo up there, Kyungsoo will embarrass him this time. “What do you want?”

 

“I—” Jongdae clears his throat and stops a few steps ahead. “I kind of missed you.” Jongdae stops for a second before hurrying to add, “In a friendly way, you know!”

 

Kyungsoo scrunches his face together and Jongdae shrugs, like he hadn’t meant what he had said at all. Jongdae is an asshole. Jongdae admits it himself and Kyungsoo agrees, but what is another asshole going to do to Kyungsoo’s life now that Kyungsoo knows how exactly how to deal with the problem? Sehun is the answer to Jongdae, so Kyungsoo has a solution at hand. Then again, Kyungsoo can be an asshole himself, so he supposes that they’re even.

 

“Did you get the apples?” Jongdae asks, fiddling with his fingers around the clear plastic cup.

 

“Apples,” Kyungsoo snorts but gets onto the bus and swipes his metro card. “You sent the apples?”

 

“Well, technically it was Sehun,” Jongdae mumbles distastefully, but follows and sits down on the seat next to Kyungsoo. “But the idea was mine, you know?”

 

Kyungsoo throws Jongdae a flat, unimpressed look. That’s no effort.

 

“What,” Jongdae raises his voice just a fraction, like he is trying to deny the accusation of a crime he didn’t commit, “I know you made some really good apple pies outta ‘em!”

 

“It was Baekhyun, huh?” Kyungsoo flashes a smile. That kid’s going to hell the moment that Kyungsoo gets his hands on him. Jongdae seems to register Kyungsoo’s thought and pulls a grin across his face, screaming _‘course not!_ in a way that Kyungsoo will no longer fall for. “He went and shared it with you…”

 

Honestly speaking though, the apples were very fresh. Kyungsoo didn’t think that Jongdae was capable of selecting produce for his life given how he is stocking up on cup noodles and frozen food all the time, but it makes sense that Sehun was the one that had them sent—though it’s also likely that the spoilt brat may have gotten an agent to do it. Kyungsoo is not complaining. Kyungsoo had gotten the point and honestly, he’d made some very good apple pies out of them so he supposes that forgiveness is due. The tension that Jongdae deserves needs to be drawn out a bit more, though.

 

“You’re not going to hurt Baekhyun, are you?” Jongdae asks, shifting the power balance so that Kyungsoo has control even though Jongdae _knows_ that it’s unlikely that Kyungsoo will abuse the power for that purpose. “I nagged him a whole bunch, just so you know.”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and pushes Jongdae lightly. Jongdae makes a non-committal sound upon realising that they have arrived and gets off the bus. Kyungsoo takes a step ahead, this time playing his own game as he tunes into Jongdae’s presence following behind him. Jongdae talks more than ever. In a loud voice, Jongdae begs Kyungsoo for forgiveness and when he thinks that Kyungsoo isn’t listening, quietly contemplates why he should be the one doing this. Kyungsoo finds himself smiling but hides it from Jongdae’s inquiring eyes by walking in front.

 

It had begun with Jongdae leading, but Kyungsoo thinks that Namsan Tower would be a good place to settle the things between them. Walking in front, Kyungsoo pays for their cable car ticket. During the ride, Jongdae is silent because they ride with others and Kyungsoo is grateful for a moment of silence as he plans his small act of revenge.

 

Once they get off however, Jongdae continues to fidget around him and Kyungsoo finds it amusing, but there’s no need to drag it out any longer. Kyungsoo walks quickly over to the Locks of Love, telling himself that he will do it, only to stop, as he gets a lovely view of the city below. Kyungsoo licks his lips, now feeling nervous, because he’s not as brave as Jongdae, but he needs to do this. Jongdae had been straightforward. Kyungsoo will be too.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongdae whines again. “I already apologised you know? Can you forgive me already?”

 

“APOLOGY ACCEPTED,” Kyungsoo yells at the top of his lungs, this time to embarrass _Jongdae_. “ASSHOLE.”

 

Everyone around them turns to look and Kyungsoo is beet red but Jongdae has all the attention. It’s the reverse situation of what had happened when Jongdae had dragged Kyungsoo up to Namsan Tower. This time, all the couples around are pointing at Jongdae and looking on with confusion. Their whispers are hushed but the content doesn’t matter. Jongdae is at the centre of attention and that is satisfying enough for Kyungsoo.

 

Jongdae flashes an incredulous look, mouth dropped open and eyes blown wide. His normal reaction would have been boisterous laughter. It’s so easy to tell that he’s only doing it to please Kyungsoo, but that’s good enough. This level of friendship is good. Kyungsoo has come to terms with it. Anything closer is unnecessary for the both of them. There’s no need to create expectations. Eventually, Jongdae laughs and drags Kyungsoo back to one of the benches to sit him down.

 

“Thank you,” Jongdae says, flashing a grin into Kyungsoo’s face and then pulling away. “Can we start again?”

 

Kyungsoo pauses. The opportunity to start again, given by Jongdae seems easy to take up. Kyungsoo nods but that’s not the most urgent thought that comes to mind. Right now, reconciling with Jongdae is easy. The difficult task is trying with Yifan.

 

“Thinking about Yifan?” Jongdae questions, carefully. As usual, Jongdae knows the grounds that he is stepping on and he is careful. When it concerns others, Jongdae is pleasant. When it’s about him, his feelings and his needs, Jongdae is all rough surfaces and sharp ends. “You still haven’t…?”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head with a deep swallow. Amber had been ruthless when shutting down Kyungsoo’s attempts at reconciliation and he cowered away in fear of her. It wasn’t much different then how he had dealt with Jongdae’s rejection, but this is different. Kyungsoo has been making plans to approach Yifan, but he’s so important, Kyungsoo worries that he will screw it up.

 

“It’s scary, huh?” Jongdae nudges him a little and his tone is sympathetic. “Different from how you took my rejection, right?”

 

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo bites back although the truth hurts. It’s even worse because Yifan hasn’t actually rejected him yet so Kyungsoo keeps worrying about that possibility. “Worry about yourself, Jongdae.”

 

“I’m not worried!” Jongdae exclaims.

 

“Psh,” Kyungsoo scoffs. “You were so off at Baekhyun’s housewarming party even though Sehun had rejected Sojin nuna. You _should_ worry.”

 

Jongdae splutters, face turning bright red at the mention of his behaviour. Jongdae pushes Kyungsoo slightly in retaliation and then instantly changes the topic.

 

“Anyway,” Jongdae clears his throat. “You know a lot about us. Time to tell me some more about you and Yifan.”

 

Kyungsoo would retaliate that the person he knows best is Sehun, because of Jongdae’s nonstop chatter, but it really isn’t important anymore.

 

“I haven’t heard the story,” Jongdae continues, “How did the two of you meet?”

 

Kyungsoo smiles at the memory. It’s really ridiculous. Jongdae crashes into him, laughing in a teasing manner. It’s as if he knows exactly what it is that Kyungsoo is thinking. Kyungsoo nudges back with a long exhale. It’s not a story that he’s shared before. It’s actually special to him but maybe, telling Jongdae won’t be so bad. Or embarrassing. After all, Jongdae shared his.

 

“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae whines, stomping his feet like a spoiled kid. Kyungsoo grimaces. He’s glad that Sehun’s the one dealing with this childish behaviour. “Spill! Your face tells me that it’s a really good story!”

 

Kyungsoo pushes a finger against Jongdae’s arm to put a distance between them. It actually something that Kyungsoo thinks about actively, even though it’s not that important. Kyungsoo shifts a bit farther away, so that he is at least nine centimetres away from Jongdae. Now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, Sehun’s words have always been on his mind. But other than that, it is a comfortable distance for all of them. It really is a good distance that allows Kyungsoo to keep a close relationship with Jongdae, but also far enough not to cause any misunderstandings. Kyungsoo hopes that Sehun knows how subtly possessive he can be.

 

“Christmas Eve,” Kyungsoo starts and pauses as the dates come back. It was a year of both loss and gain. The thought makes Kyungsoo feel queasy. “The same year my father passed away.”

 

Jongdae starts to apologise but Kyungsoo waves a hand to dismiss him. Now that he thinks about it, Yifan may have been a gift his father had directed him to. The memory itself isn’t anything great but Yifan is definitely the most wonderful thing Kyungsoo received that year. After so many years, Kyungsoo can say it with certainty. Kyungsoo can smile fondly at it too, so there’s no reason for Jongdae to apologise for something that was out of their control.

 

“I was in the middle of moving into my current apartment,” Kyungsoo says. He remembers the emptiness in his old home. The walls had been a dull white and everything was cold. He had moved everything away so now the walls were showing their ugly side. “I’d left my wallet at my old place and so I went back in to get it.”

 

Jongdae nods along eagerly. It’s an in-between expression from what he exaggeratedly shows Baekhyun but there’s also a hint of sincerity that he had strictly reserved for Sehun. Kyungsoo acknowledges it and locks it away. Kyungsoo feels good being in the place in between. Not too close and not too far. It really is, the most comfortable that the two of them will get.

 

Kyungsoo shudders a bit at the memory though. Now that he observes it from a distance, the end result could have been very different. Kyungsoo is lucky, that the story was actually a start and not an end. Kyungsoo had spotted a switch that he been left on in the corner of his kitchen and had stepped over to turn it off when the glass window came crashing down, causing him extreme panic. He had yelped at the sound of a groan and reached around for the nearest weapon.

 

“There were a few things around,” Kyungsoo explains, but really, the only box left was the one with the kitchen supplies. “But my hands automatically went for the saucepan—”

 

Jongdae gasps. There’s a look in his eye and a raised brow that says exactly what Kyungsoo thinks he says. _Disney buddies_. “Knocked ‘em both out?”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods with a giggle. _Disney buddies_. That’s a nice place for the two of them to settle. “Then I called up the station for some help. Turns out Yifan was pursuing a thief and I knocked him out too.”

 

It was kind of messy. Kyungsoo made sure to apologise even though it was their fault for trespassing on his crappy property. Yifan too, had apologised profusely and promised that he would make it up to Kyungsoo. That began with an invasion into Kyungsoo’s life in the most unexpected away. Yifan always had a stern face on and Kyungsoo questioned whether or not he was willing to compensate, but everything fell into place. Yifan was clumsier than he looked and Kyungsoo began to question how he even got into his line of work, but it had all passed. Curiosity held on and Kyungsoo stayed around to watch only to fall before he could stop.

 

“Isn’t that something special?” Jongdae asks.

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo looks at him—really looks at him and nods in full agreement. “Much more than you are.”

 

Jongdae’s mouth drops open and he clutches onto his chest in mock pain. He’s so dramatic over the most useless things. Kyungsoo doesn’t matter here. It’s Sehun who does. Kyungsoo understands this now and has come to terms with it. Perhaps it’s a conflict for some and not others. Kyungsoo had grown through the experience, so he will not say that he is unlucky to have his heart chipped at by Jongdae’s rough hands. Kyungsoo is lucky that he got to know and got to choose. That’s enough.

 

“How dare you!”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head, nudges Jongdae again. “You’re the same.”

 

Jongdae smiles but it’s not a smile that is meant for Kyungsoo. It’s that smile that he reserves for all things Sehun related, lips quivering with happiness and eyes sparkling with an afterglow.

 

“Yeah,” Jongdae admits, scratching his cheeks lightly, abashed. “I am.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae stops the car with a screech, directly in front of Yifan’s home and Kyungsoo freaks out. This was not what Kyungsoo was told when Baekhyun had whined and Jongdae had persuaded him to getting into the car. Kyungsoo glares at the back of Baekhyun’s seat and hopes that he burns a hole through it. But then Baekhyun starts shuffling around and Kyungsoo instinctively clutches onto the seat belt for his own safety. Kyungsoo is not going out there without a plan.

 

Baekhyun climbs to the back, opens the door and attempts to kick Kyungsoo out. When that method fails, Baekhyun puts his hands on Kyungsoo’s back and shoves with all his might. Because of the pain caused by Baekhyun’s sharp hands, Kyungsoo climbs out by himself. Once Kyungsoo is outside, Baekhyun closes the door and Jongdae locks them so Kyungsoo cannot get back in. Baekhyun climbs back to the front and then winds the windows down. In the face of Kyungsoo’s glare, Baekhyun flashes a grin and shoves a bouquet of roses in his face.

 

“You guys don’t have to be so dramatic,” Kyungsoo sighs but grabs the bouquet anyway. “I’m not going to run.”

 

“How do we know?” Jongdae yells from the driver seat. “If you’re really my soul mate you’d be a master at it!”

 

“Hey!” Kyungsoo shouts back because they’re not that alike. “I’m not _you_!”

 

Despite his resolve and his confidence in front of them, Kyungsoo can feel his palms becoming all sweaty and gross. Everything about this should be okay, but instead he’s breaking out in nerves. He’s carrying roses, for god’s sake. Kyungsoo doesn’t go around carrying roses. Okay, so maybe he will, for a certain Wu Yifan. In earlier discussions, Baekhyun and Jongdae had suggested that he carry a saucepan and ask Yifan to knock him out—enough to kill his memories and ask for a fresh start. Despite how much fun the idea sounds—Kyungsoo could actually find use in forgetting about Baekhyun and Jongdae—Kyungsoo isn’t going to use that method.

 

But that’s beside the point. The roses are being crushed in his shaky hands and his throat is clogging up with air because his body is refusing to breathe like a normal person would. Baekhyun climbs half-way through the open window and clasps Kyungsoo’s cheeks gently between his palms. Suddenly Baekhyun is being all motherly. Although Kyungsoo knows that Baekhyun just wants to play around, he also knows that Baekhyun has at least a hint of sincerity.

 

“You can do it,” Baekhyun cheers.

 

Kyungsoo gives him a weak smile in return. It’s amazing to think that Baekhyun’s being the encouraging one in this situation. Baekhyun grins back and kneads Kyungsoo’s cheek in his hand. Taking advantage of the fact that Kyungsoo is not retaliating, Baekhyun begins cooing. However, before Kyungsoo can reprimand him for going too far, Baekhyun yelps, as Jongdae pulls him back into the car.

 

Jongdae crawls over Baekhyun’s passenger seat to poke his head out the open window. “If you really must, take a chance and wipe out his memory!  Start fresh, kiddo.”

 

“Go away,” Kyungsoo glares. Kyungsoo puts his hand on Jongdae’s head gently but applies force to push Jongdae back inside the car. “You two have terrible ideas.”

 

“Do Kyungsoo-ssi,” Jongdae glares pointedly, “You’re hurting me.”

 

“Just leave already,” Kyungsoo mumbles. He’s already upset at himself because they dragged him here before he could do it. “I’ll be fine.”

 

Kyungsoo turns to face the door and clenches his hand around the bouquet. He inhales and exhales repeatedly, telling himself that it will be okay. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how long he stands there, trying to gather the courage to press the door bell but then it suddenly goes _ding dong! ding dong! ding dong!_ Kyungsoo’s eyes fly open only to see Jongdae escaping back into the driver seat of the car.

 

Kyungsoo twirls his body right around, howling, “Kim Jongdae!”

 

“Gotta go, Soo!” Jongdae exclaims as he locks the doors and starts the engine.

 

Baekhyun flashes him a smile, “Catch!”

 

Surprised, Kyungsoo acts instinctively and reaches out for the item that Baekhyun is telling him to catch. Because Kyungsoo is clumsy, he lets go of the roses to catch what he realises is a saucepan when it is in his hand. Kyungsoo stares at it as Jongdae drives Baekhyun away, speeding as if they are driving a getaway car. Kyungsoo doesn’t even have a moment to compose himself because the door clicks open.

 

“Soo…?”

 

Kyungsoo jumps again, his hands flying around with him. He doesn’t really know where to put them. Kyungsoo’s brain automatically tells him that he needs to hide the saucepan, but his hands don’t quite agree. When Kyungsoo finally manages to get his feet to settle, Yifan is yelping loudly. Studying the situation carefully, Kyungsoo gasps and takes a step back. He hears himself stepping on the wrapping paper but has sense to pay more attention to what he’s done with his hands. Kyungsoo slowly loosens the grip on the saucepan and swallows hard. The saucepan that is resting on Yifan’s head drops to the ground without Kyungsoo’s grip controlling it and clatters fussily.

 

“Ouch,” Yifan groans. Yifan keeps his head lowered—probably because he is dizzy—but raises a hand to rub circles on his wound. “You didn’t even try to hold back…”

 

“Holy sh—” Kyungsoo exclaims, eyes blown wide. “Hyung, are you—”

 

Yifan falls into silence and Kyungsoo freezes up. He screwed up again.

 

“Roses?” Yifan asks eventually. Yifan keeps his head lowered and Kyungsoo realises that his eyes are locked on the bouquet of roses that Kyungsoo had sent flying. “Soo, you bought roses?”

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo squeaks, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Um.”

 

Kyungsoo swallows nervously and waits for a proper response. Time seems even slower at this moment, but then Yifan finally chuckles, lifting his head so that he can look at  Kyungsoo. Yifan’s eyes are a little teary because of the pain but his gummy smile is bright like the sun.

 

“Couldn’t you have waited until Christmas Eve?” Yifan complains but his voice chirps away with soft laughter.

 

Kyungsoo feels relief wash over him and immediately sighs. Kyungsoo looks up at Yifan, directly into his eyes and is comforted by his own reflection. There’s no one else. Kyungsoo’s lips twitch in a nervous smile. He hopes that Yifan can see that his own reflection is the only one in Kyungsoo’s eyes as well.

 

“Should I come back tomorrow night?” Kyungsoo manages to say while trying to hide a wide smile with one hand. “And through the window at that?”

 

“No,” Yifan’s eyes flickering with surprise but they soften almost immediately when he smiles. He reaches out for Kyungsoo’s hands and squeezes it. Kyungsoo makes sure to squeeze back. “Stay.”

 

_Fin._

 

**Author's Note:**

> All remaining errors are mine.


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